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mahesh   04 June 2015

Missing ring

Dear Experts,

My name is Ramesh, based out in Bangalore, working as an accountant. I got married in Feb last year, before the marriage we had a gap of 8 months; we used to talk a lot over the phone with each other. Post marriage my wife was with her parents for 6 months since she was perusing her final semester degree. After completion of her exams, I got her back to Banglore. Her native place is 120 km from Bangalore. Since she was Idle at home, I suggested her to join for some course even she agreed and joined stitching class held by Government institute which is 1 Km from my house along with my Cousin’s wife.

Life was good so far but in between she used to get calls from some unknown numbers, initially, I took it lightly & ignored. She used to be very good with me. When I reach office, I used to call whenever I get time, most of the time phone was busy, immediately after sometime my wife used disconnect the other call & used to pick my call, when I questioned her she used to tell, it is my Mother/Father/Brother. I used to believe and be quite. She had an habit of deleting the call history except for the know numbers. Once after coming from office, I checked her cell, she had spoke for 8 min, when I questioned her she told that was wrong number & started arguing with me. Every day when we go to bed, she used to talk about my cousin’s wife stating she is having an affair with a guy & that guy is coming daily to meet her near the stitching class & they are roaming here and there etc. I used scold her & asked her to advise my cousin’s wife to not to do that & she used say yes & keep quite. Couple of time after I leave for office, she used to lock the door of our room & used speak over the phone, for long hours, once my mom noticed it and advised her to not to speak for long time & she informed me as well.

Since her behavior was strange, I told her to keep an eye on her. My mom one day she overheard the conversation & told me that she was using a name called Kamalesh after that I could not hear anything. I got suspicious & questioned my wife; she told she was speaking with my Cousin’s wife, when I asked for the number, she showed her cell with new number added in my cousin’s wife name & mentioned one more point that my cousins’ wife had 2 numbers. Couple of times I scolded her for this behavior & she used to tell that, she wont repeat the act of speaking over the phone for long hours.

Like this 3 months passed, one fine day our family had to attend one of the marriage held in my wife’s place, meanwhile my wife had a backlog of one subject in her final degree, my mom told that after attending the marriage, she will drop her in her mom’s place so that she can finish her exams & come back after a week even I agreed, My wife had only one Ring (engagement), while wearing all other jewellary, me & my mom noticed that the Engagement ring was missing in the box, when we questioned her she told, it is there in here Mom’s place, I asked her to get it back while returning because she had only one Ring. So my mom & wife left for the marriage & told them that I will come on Marriage day.


On Marriage day, when I started from Bangalore, I gave a call to my wife while speaking she told one thing about the Ring, first she told, she lost the Ring, when I started scolding her, she told her parents have pledged it, since they had some problem. I believed & warned her to not to repeat the same, without repeating. Since I am being used to her strange behavior wanted to check with her Father whether they have really kept the Ring or she is stilling pranking. When I questioned her Father he straightaway told that he has not taken the Ring, so my doubt got doubled & started questioning my wife, while questioning she told that she has given it to my cousin’s wife & she has pledged it, when I questioned my cousin’s wife, she confirmed she has not taken the Ring & she told one more truth that, My wife had called her one day before & told her to bluff with me in case if I ask them for the Ring stating She has taken the Ring would return back in 2 or 3 days.


After hearing to this my doubt got doubled & informed my father-in-law about this, when he questioned her daughter, she repeated the same old story, my father-in-law took mobile number of my cousins wife & tried to call, from the other side there was Gents voice & he told that he is My cousin & would return the Ring in a day or 2. My father in-law told the something to me, since I had already informed my cousin about this got doubt & asked him to provide the number he spoke with, when I tried to chase the number it was the same person (Kamalesh – My mother had overheard the conversation). Once I got confirmation about this, I told the same information to my father in-law & asked him to enquire thoroughly with my wife, but my wife repeated the same old story stating she has given it to my cousin’s wife. I asked father in-law to enquire with the same number, he tried to make him understand the situation, however that guy acknowledged that he is having the Ring. We had couple of sittings to sort out the matter with my cousin & his wife along with my in-laws & my parents but both my cousins wife & My wife are blaming each other but no one is telling the truth.


After seeing this, I decided to file complaint to find out the truth how this Ring went in that guys hand. My cousin agreed for the same, but my in-laws & my wife are refusing stating if it goes to police station, they will not allow their daughter to leave with me & will file an Dowry harassment case for the small fight which I had initially with my wife.


Dear Expert in the above context kindly advise, how to deal with this situation.

  1. Should I file a complaint against the number (Kamalesh) & my wife & Cousin’s wife to get the truth out. Though I requested my in-laws to give complaint, they are not ready & they are playing a mind game & scaring us stating they will file a case against us. If I leave the matter like that, my soul will not be convinced to continue my living with my wife.
  2. Should I make my cousin’s wife to give the complaint?, if so what are the consequences.
  3. In case my in-laws file a case what are the consequences for my family & to how come out of the same.
  4. If you have any suggestions to get the truth out without affecting anyone, let me know.

Your immediate advise will help to save me & my family & married life.


 1 Replies

bsrao   04 June 2015

You know your wife is lying. 

The ring is hers. If its lost, she has to file a complaint. You cannot file a complaint.

If they are threatening you not to file a complaint, why filing at all?

If your wife files a case against you, then it is the end of marriage.

You have the truth, already. If you want it to be told by others to you without rocking your married life, then there is no way.

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