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jaig   29 October 2016

Mediation failed, can i reduce my offer in 2nd mediation

In PWDVA case, I submitted my reply which falsifies her all allegations, she has not yet files rejoinder. Contest for interim has not started yet. Judge sent for mediation.


Now I made a humble offer (8 lakhs) in mediation on request of my lawyer. They came down from 60L to 40L, then 30L, last I heard 25L. Mediator got frustrated (on us mostly as I dodged most dates and made the offer on last date) and marked failed. Which is what I wanted.


I am bent on contesting, they are hell-bent of getting rid of the mess as the girl wants to re-marry asap. So her counsel is nagging us like a begger to come to a higher settlement amount. Her counsel got the judge recommend another round of mediation, my counsel did not protest as our stand was we wont initiate mediation but we're open to mediation if other party wants.


This time it is in Delhi hight court mediation center. Given the circumstances, I strongly believe if I reduce my offer from 8 lakh to 3-4 lakh, they won't have much choice than agreeing. My lawyer is saying, once you said 8 lakh, you cannot reduce it have to stick to it. Or mediator will give a bad report which can go against me. But I want to have little more fun :) Can I ?


Given that the last mediation was failed and this is a new mediation in high court, can I start with a lower amount ? I can claim I've incurred some more expense after that. Also this will be new mediator, would he consider offers made by parties in previous mediation ? It that binding on me that my next offer will always have to be higher or equal to my last offer ?


About the case itself, girl admitted getting INR 95,000/- in hand, and maintaining not only herself but also her low-earning brother in costly metro area.

 9 Replies

saravanan s (legal advisor)     29 October 2016

First time I am hearing a guy enjoying over the cases filed over him by his must also be happy that your wife had filed only dv over you.usually it will be followed by a huge list of other cases.better get rid of her as soon as possible and that's possible only if she gets divorce from you


Everything in mediation is off the record. Mediators can't and don't write anything except mediation failed or succeeded. Don't worry about how people would feel. If they are coming for mediation again, most likely they do want to move on with their life asap. So take advantage of it, make up a story that you lost everything you have and offer them zero rupees. They'll take it too. But just do it politely. If they don't take the offer, what do you have to lose? If judge orders interim maintenance, you can contest that too and given the facts, might be able to reduce it to zero as well, in which case she will have to run around court for nothing. I think your lawyer is encouraging you to settle the case quick so that he can move on with his life. If you are innocent and DV is a false case, teach her a lesson, offer nothing.

Good luck. Please update us on how it went. We like fun too ;-)


Tuk tuk (auto) is correct. Yippee. Its like tarkari chaukaasi.. She tell dus rupay u tell 5 rupay. Do chaukaasi till she come down to 6 rupay. That's all. Haven't u bought veggies in mandi??? Same to same. Here ur the veggie.. Divorce is the tarkari. Bargain sweety.

rajeev sharma (Advocate Ex senior manager law )     29 October 2016

i am sure this foroum is for serious discussion not for those who want to make fun at the expense of court's tine

Kumar Doab (FIN)     29 October 2016

Agreed with Mr. Saravanan S.

Such instances are posted very less.

You have posted that:


---"they are hell-bent of getting rid of the mess as the girl wants to re-marry asap. So her counsel is....................................Her counsel got the judge recommend another round of mediation..................................................."


If it is a fact then talk it out in corridor and let them on their own ask to record sayRs.............."


---"I want to have little more fun :) Can I ?"

MCD is fast.

Thereafter, you can have all the fun and enjoy.


---"I want to have little more fun :) Can I ?"

You have already been advised;  'it will be followed by a huge list of other cases.'

Don't provoke.







Idot, Ppl.marry to be happy. If no happiness part ways peacefully. Ppl do.commit mistake. That don't mean they have to suffer entire life. In process of hurting back you are digging your own grave. If tables turn you will be left wandering in roads. Don't play.

jaig   29 October 2016

I am aware of the risk, in fact I was prepared to contest. both DV and 498a. And also I don't have any plan for re-marriage in next 5-10 years, so I can. I think this is a very big leverage. Harassment will be over one day if 498a happens, so the leverage every girl has (gender-biased law) is of temporary nature, but my leverage will leave permanent impact if she's rendered unworthy of re-marriage after loosing the cases. As far as CrPC/jail/498a, a complain is lying there in CAW cell for months with n progress, I am willing to flight the 498a as well.


@rajeev sharma, - I have highest regard for court and willing to fight all cases properly on merit, but the same does not hold for out-of-court haggling and mediation especially in criminal cases. You are the first person I see who's blaming a man for wasting court's time. Is it birth right for wives only who file false cases for money ?


If the cases go on, the real problem will be waste to time and money. I am willing to shed money to contest. My question was is there any risk from the mediation/court ? Not about what she'll do when provoked. I've already seen that part.

About the analogy with "tarkari chaukaasi", I like it, here she is selling divorce/freedom at exorbitant price whereas she is the one who needs it, I should be selling it and she bying it. It's more like you call a trash removal company to take away your trash and also ask heavy price for the trash items whereas you should be paying for it :)


I have received discouraging advice from most people, but one thing I've learnt and like to share, that you you start with a compromising attitude you'll only end in a costly escape. Be bold and show inclination to contest and disregard for mediation, the opponent will come down way faster that you ever expected. In first mediation I didn't even allowed the mediatior to touch the topic of money haggling, and tepeatedly insisted to ask her to fight for justie. A very humble question: "Sir rape is also a crime against women, most countries treat DV as seriously as rape. Does our law give the similar advice to rape cases, ki paisa le kar samjhota kar le, OR piasa le aur ussi ke sath phir se lait jaa ?" mediator was flabbergasted.

1 Like

Ashwin   17 April 2018

thank u sir

arindam   03 June 2018

Congrats. I feel hopeful after reading this post jaig. All men should stand against biased laws and dont care judges. Plus all duties are on men then what is the purpose of women in marriage? Maintainence is nothing but legal reverse dowry.

Better not to marry and enjoy as bachelor.

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