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Maya (na)     13 June 2010

marriage help

 

I am in a trouble from the very begining of my marrital life. So need your suggestion on my further steps and need some information also.

 

I am around 50+ years old. My husband is 60. I am Arts graduate. Previously (before marriage) he used to serve in navy after our marriage he joined a shipping company as a marine engineer. He used to earn in dollars. We have 2 kids. Daughter is married and son is unmarried. My son in law, son, daughter all are software professional. From the very begining of our married life I had to take care of my widow mother in law and unmarried sister in law.But all the time I have been treated like a servant. I have no right on anything. As I had to fulfill his all dreams so the house is on my name and the car too. Because he had to stay in abroad for 6-8 months in a year, so I had to do all the legal formalities of all these stuffs. But I have no rights in all. He torchures me both mental and physical. Tells me as he earned the money so he is the owner. As I dont earn so what ever he will do I have to accept that. He keeps everything locked. Even he doesnt arrange for food. 

 

I dont want divorce. But want to know the steps to be followed as a suggestion. Dont I have the rights on his earnings as I am a housewife? What percentage? I just want to tell him the fact whether I have the right or not.

 

 

Thanks



Learning

 9 Replies


(Guest)

It is not unique story of yours.  It is the story of hundred and thousands of house-wives in India.  In our counrty, unreasonably and illogically,  the work of a house-wife,- maintaining house, cooking food, washing, rearing the children etc.  has never been treated as difficult, hazardous, tiresome and productive in nature.  The services rendered by her have never been calculated in terms of money.  It has been thrust upon her by saying that it is her moral responsibility as she is not bringing money from outside job.  It is very difficult to make the Indian mindset to understand, how a woman in a single day walk  a number of kilometers in the kitchen to prepare breakfast, lunch and dinner.  The work she puts is physical as well as mental but purely a "thankless job" as she is doing it for her own family and at the end of day, she has to survive on the kindness of the man or the son.  It is, now, in cities women are getting jobs and are economically empowered and are not tolerating high-handedness of the male dominance.  They are also bringing money to the family and are also demanding the husbands to share household work.   And it is also reason for high spate of divorce cases in urban areas.

Coming to your problem, what your husband  doing is totally illegal, unjustified and cannot stand to the scrutiny of the court.  Your services for your house can be calcultated in terms of money, that is, according to latest judicial trends, ranges around 1/3rd of his income.  As you are not interested to enforce this right by way of court proceedings and wants this knowledge to strengthen yourself, I won't further elaborate on this point.  But I conclude this by saying that if you want to enforce your right at any point of time in future, the better option is to move an application under Section 12 of the Domestic Violence Act or Section 125 of Cr.P.C.    There are some advocates on this forum, who jump immediately to say, that as you are provided food by your husband,. you are not entitled for maintenance.  That is not the correct legal proosition, I dare say.  

2 Like

(Guest)

NANDKUMAR B.SAWANT.M.COM.LL.B.(MUMBAI),ADVOCATE

MOBILE.9271971251, 9960223100

e.mail.adv.nbsawant@yahoo.co.in

e.mail.nandkumarbs@sify.com

REGARDING THE MATRIMONIAL MATTER KINDLY NOTE THAT.

1.YOU ARE IN THE AGE GROUP OF 50.AND YOU HAVE HOUSE AND CAR IN YOUR OWN NAME.KINDLY NOTE THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS STILL WORKING ABROAD .HE HAS FAITH AND TRUST ON YOU HENCE YOU HAVE HOUSE AND CAR IN YOUR NAME. KINDLY CONSIDER THAT HE IS WORKING FOR THE INTEREST OF YOUR FAMILY. MINOR PROBLEM FOR PETTY CASH FOR DAY TO DAY EXPENSES CAN BE SORTED OUT BY DISCUSSING THE MATTER WITH YOUR HUSBAND.YOUR DAUGHTER IS MARRIED AND SON IS ALSO THERE. YOU MAY BE FEELING DOMINATED DUE TO OTHER RELATIVES OF YOUR HUSBAND. KINDLY NOTE  THAT ALMOST ENTIRE YOUNG LIFE YOU HAVE ALREADY STAYED WITH YUR HUSBAND  HARDLY FEW YEARS ARE REMAINING  TO LEAVE PEACEFUL OLD AGE LIFE. HENCE I SINCERELY ADVISE YOU  NOT TO  DISTURB YOUR FAMILY LIFE AND FUTURE OLD AGE ,BY UNNECESSARY CREATING COURT MATTERS BY CLAIMING MAINTAINENCE AND FILING OTHER CRIMINAL CASES AGAINST YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY MEMBERS. THE OUTSIDERS INCLUDING POLICE AND OTHER AUTHORITIES WHO WILL BE INVOLVED ONCE COMPLAINT IS FILED ,ALL WILL TAKE UNDUE ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION AND YOU WILL GET SPOILED YOUR FUTURE PEACE OF MIND AND FUTURE LIFE WILL BE DISTURBED .

HENCE KINDLY KEEP COOL AND UNLESS THE MATTER IS SERIOUS YOU NEED NOT GET DISTURBED.

IN YOUR OWN INTEREST  AND IN THE INTEREST OF YOUR FAMILY JUST KEEP COOL AND HELP YOURSELF AND SORT OUT THE MATTER BY DISCUSSIONS WITH YOUR FAMILY .

GOOD LUCK.

1 Like

Kiran (Consultant)     13 June 2010

Really appreciate the Advice of Nandakumar Sir. People like Prabhakar always take partisan attitude towards wife and they always advice to spoil the mental peace and harmony of family lifes. In this process they earn lot of money as some peeple who heed thier advice will come to them and they can loot lot of  money from them. This forum has become a advocate campaining forum for people like Prabhakar. They dont understand how many husbands are suffering because of wives taking undue advantage of legal provisions.

I sincerely advice u NOT to file any cases and spoil ur rest of life and ur husband's after so many years of marital life. after that it is your wish.

 

1 Like

Maya (na)     13 June 2010

Thanks a lot all of you for your replies...

Nandakumar ji , just I want to inform you that I have mentioned already I dont want to go legally. I asked for my information so that I can inform my husband about my rights. My husband is retired now. He stays with me. But forces me to transfer the ownership of car and house on his name.My daughter insists me to not to do.But, for this he torchures me a lot.

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     13 June 2010

Your daughter is right, do not transfer the car and house to his name. Let the only property you have remain on your name. Do not give much attention to his nuisence, simply ignore him and enagage your self in some thing that is worth and shall give you some peace of mind.

1 Like

DR.SANAT KUMAR DASH (Eye Specialist)     13 June 2010

MAYA,   PLEASE    DON'T      TRANSFER     HOUSE    &   CAR    IN     THE   NAME   OF   U'R   HUSBAND.     IF   POSSIBLE    ENGAGE    YOURSELF     IN   SOME   WORK   FOR  MENTAL   PEACE.


(Guest)

if he still forces u to do it u may as a last resort see protection under dv act2005. but try to settle things by peaceful means first.

Daksh (Student)     14 June 2010

Ms.Maya,

I concur with all other learned members and would like to add/suggest that you have the means why don't you opt along with your hubby for counselling.

The moot point is as Mr.Nand Kumar B Sawant has suggested what is the cause of peculiar behaviour of your husband is he insecure, is he possessive or articulate or is ignoring you and if the answer to these question is positive what is the cause and what could be remedy.

If you deem appropriate we have Mr.Hardik Mehta as being our LCI family member kindly get in touch with him I hope he will definately be of great help as he is not only professionally qualified but will is also got ample experience.

Best Regards

Daksh

Venkataraman (not applicable)     14 June 2010

Mrs.Maya

Advocate Nandakumar's advice excellent - down to earth analysis - included how others would try to take advantage in others difficulty when approached to authorities.  Your husband will soon realise that only (you) wife can be everlasting true partner in life and understand your sacrifies. 


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