Kindly help - Shall wait or go for legal notice and RCR asap?




- I married on Nov, 2009 and we stayed for 14 months together till Jan, 2011.

- She was pregnant from June, 2010 onwards and 8 out of 9 months she stayed with me during pregnancy. We had a good relationship and I cared lot (or may I thought it that way)

- She is the only child of her parents and her parents never came during those 8 months on the pretext of misbehavior. I took care of everything and she stayed with me.

- She cried and fought over to go to her parent's place during delivery. From the day the boy is born, she changed 180 degree.

- I travelled the same day the boy was born and also my family was there and they misbehaved with everyone. 

- She started saying I tortured her, abused her, did not give her food (she had a weight gain of 21 kg)

- We had conflicts after that (within 20 days of delivery whole situation was changed) and she and her parents started misbehaving with everyone in my family including my parents. 

- When I visited along with family after 1 month of delivery her mother threatend with police (which was absurd and I asked there to please call and do so and then she went back) . Then she asked to get out of the house. Her mother used heavily abusive words. 

- After that she did not come for 3 months and stayed at her parent's house.

- Now suddenly I came to know she is in Bangalore with her mother and she is staying there for last 2 and 1/2 months. It has been 8 months since she is living separately.

- I tried multiple times and finally trying to make her understand. Now her mother has taken the child to her place in the pretext of safety and care. She is working here alone in Bangalore.

- I am talking to her and she constantly says she needs time, but does not act anything on it. I think she is playing something here, but she says she has some personal things to take care of (I do not know what can be that!).  



- I am confused of her intentions. Why is she doing it? How come a mother left her child and working (both her parents also work)? [I know she is playing for control, but why she left the child with her parents]

And she has stopped giving any milk to the child. But she is saying she cares for her and whenever I ask about the child she refuses to talk.

- I am trying hard to make understand that it is all wrong, but she is  blaming everyone in my family and not coming back. I asked her many times to come back. Neither is she giving any address.

What Should I do?


- Go for a legal notice and then RCR?

- Is there any meaning in filing the RCR (or directly go for Divorce)? Her mother is evil in its purest form. 

- If nothing works out, I am ready for the divorce. But she is not ready  for that. 

- Can I go and directly take my son (with a legal notice) as she is not staying with the mother?

- Shall I wait for sometime more? I do not know as this kind of games that she is playing is completely strange to me.  And the level of trust is very low now. 


Please help. 


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- I met her couple of times and tried to make her understand. She is giving wrong dates (which do not connect) and says she is telling the truth. I know she is lying.

- But she is coming to meet finally,  but constantly blames everyone. She does not want to keep any relationship with anyone in my family and says she loves me (I do not think it s love, but trying to control) as she has blocked everything to my chiild and has no respect in any form of communication. 

- Is she playing something which I should be very careful about?  [She is extremely smart and completely goes by her mother and her father has no say in the household things]

It has been a very tortuous 8 months since she went to her mother's place. Now for last 2 and 1/.2 months she is in Bangalore alone staying at some place and she has a brother  (not by birth, but she says so and that fellow is a wife beater and heavy drinker,  but I do not think any illicit relationship is there).

I can take the fight. But very confused / stressed out on what her intentions her.

Please Help. Please Help/guide/suugest. 


practicing advocate

I think your mother in law is main root cause for this.  Convince your wife with the help of the elders of the society.


You have not told the entire story frankly.

Bhasin Legal Consultants(SOLICITORS & ADVOCATES) 9811210505

Dear Jeevan,

your story is not complete. Please give complete story, without reason nobody changes.






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The same situation is with me too. But I stopped contacting her BEFORE they do anything bad with me. No communication, No Connection. 

As soon as child is born in my case, i went to see the child only once.

Waiting for them to take any step. Patience needed in such situation. 

Actually Such in-laws and daughter wants to take over control on a man and lead a life. 

Whaever will happen, A Man has to face it, fight it.

Probably 2 Years seperation will come to any conclution. 

Dear Jeevan,

I suggest, Develop a patience, Divort your mind to some things, Take care of your job, study, and parents. 

Get ready for few years seperation. Everything will be fine. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. You can deny accepting her later on after they come back ( if you really want a divorce ). But I suggest dont take any action.


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Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA

- Go for a legal notice and then RCR?

RCR is futile, if you want to invite troubles file it, otherwise sit pretty and be patient.


- Is there any meaning in filing the RCR (or directly go for Divorce)? Her mother is evil in its purest form. 



- If nothing works out, I am ready for the divorce. But she is not ready  for that. 

:-) Have patience. divorces in India doesnot happen in a day.


- Can I go and directly take my son (with a legal notice) as she is not staying with the mother?

No, it would be cruelity on your son who is on mother;s feed/


- Shall I wait for sometime more? I do not know as this kind of games that she is playing is completely strange to me.  And the level of trust is very low now. 

  Yes. Be Patient.




Shonee Kapoor

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Dear Frnd Sameer & Jeevan,


You are absolutely 100% right but I want to make some additions in it by following:


1.       I agree that this is the game of purely patience but most important thing along with the patience is that we must have faith on God that 1 fine day everything will be fine. So we must pray on a regular basis, believe me this works a lot.

2.       That pray should be for our child and off course for our family’s happiness.

3.       I don’t think so that anybody is happy with this disaster neither our family nor our in-laws but the trouble is only bcoz of human beings unnecessary EGO & inflexible nature.

4.       What will happen after divorce? Husband will be in search of new wife, & wife will be in search of new husband! And then after same story will be continue that time either we’ll adjust or fight again, Moral is “AISI KITNI WIFES BADALOGE?”……”Changing wife is not a solution, Changing thought/behavior. I think “hamare jyada laad-pyar ne in ladkiyonko bigad kar rakha hai”….So first we have to change ourself.

5.       One day by having this frustration I drunk a lot & started crying in a bar then after I went to railway station I saw 1 begger who was blind….. I sat next to him and started sharing my tragedy with him. You know what he said its amazing – “SAAHAB EK BAAT BATAO AAP KE PAAS SABKUCH HAI… ACHCHI PERSONALITY, ACHCHA JOB, ACHCHI FAMILY, BANGLA, GAADI….SAB KUCH…… PAR FIR BHI AAP JAISONKI BIWIYA AAPKO CHHOD KE KYO CHALI JATI HAI?…. HAMARI BIWIYA KYO HAMKO CHHOD KE NAHI JAATI?.... MAIN TO ANDHA BHIKARI HU, LEKIN MERI WIFE JO DEKH SAKTI HAI FIRBHI PICHALE 21 SAAL SE MERI SEVA KAR RAHI HAI”………so think what that beggar was trying to say ……… now it’s the time to think that where we lacks???

6.       U people know my mom (who belongs from richest family in her village b4 her marriage)  has spend 20 yrs in 100 sq feet small room in a typical slum area with my father in a very poor condition…. Once they had been badly thrown away from that room bcoz of non-payment of rent so my mom had spend 2 days on a footpath with my father…. Intention not to make you bore by telling you my personal life but now I have 1000 sq feet luxurious flat but then too my wife is not satisfied with that……..and she always abusing me for that.


So finally my frnds neither any advocate/judge nor any relative/Godfather can solve your problem. Only we and our positive thought process can.




I knew this secret when everything is destroyed.



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Thank you so much for your suggestions.

I met her and tried to make her understand. I do not think she gets it completely. But surprisingly, she feels bad when I am hurt... I can see that as it is genuine.

And she came back last week to the house. This is a arranged marriage. And, all in laws (especially my parents and sibling) have all been very hurt/humiliated by her mother's abusive words.

I am trying to gather all the positive energy in me, but fails when she says the child has to be there as they are in safest hands (what kind of mother want her child away and says grandparents are the best people to take care ...not the parents??? I am so confused and sad on that front. I think her mother has brainwashed her on it).
Also I do not see she has any interest or genuine effort in trying to restore it. She is an expert in crying and acting (whenever it is genuine, I can feel it and see it). Whenever she sees fit, she cries and I know she is making up a good drama and restrain myself in saying anything.

What should I do?


 - Is her behavior (staying in the house with me and I take care of everything) and acting
   for now? Shall more time be given?

- Shall I take any precautionary measure to protect myself on things (It will be very painful, but I can do it as I do not trust her, though I feel for her and she is extremely smart)

 - The child is with her mother now. If I go there, I know she will again abuse. And that
   might lead to a rough situation.

 - Shall she go only and get the child back now? What will happen when she sees her mother
   (I do know her mother is evil and emotionally blackmails her daughter by crying all the

 - How to tackle on it? I do not think delaying is the course. If she goes there and sees her
   mother again (her mother is a matured person, but uses everything in an evil way) 

My questions seem to be naive. But I really do not know women much. But, I know my emotions
and informing on the situation as it is.

Please guide.




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