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Charud (EXECUTIVE)     23 September 2010

Is divorce possible in this case of disease

I'm a thane district resident since last 6 years. My parents are Ahmednagar District resident. I have married a thane city resident girl in last year. Before marriage and after marriage also my wife and her parents never told me about her psychic disease.

She had a disease called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I come to know about the disease in details before 3-4 months. The disease is somewhat controllable and not curable permanently. In this disease there are various symtoms like excessive negative thoughts, scared about infections/persons, etc. She also had feets unexpectedly and unknowingly. This was completely hidden from me. I was unknowingly shown for her wellness to several doctors. No one had told me in details. I had third party doctor's opinion on her case papers of psychitrist doctor. He told me the this disease is non-curable and she is always absent minded so she cannot take care of herself even.I was really shocked about this. 

Apart from disease she has behavioral problem. She never kept house neat and clean still only me and she resides at my home and she is housewife. She never tollerate any of my parents, brother, sister at our home when they merely come 2-3 times to my home for few days. She never attended them properly and respectfully. Always attends carelessly and always argues with them on any reason even quarrels with them loudly. She never satisfactorly maintained house and even didnt care about me. She always behave as she wants and never try to understand my feelings. Also as she is nearer distance to parents she always prefer to go at parents home many time atleast 2-3 times a month and always 2-3-4 days stay at her parents. This is kind of cruelty with me.

Finally I have decided to separate with her i.e. divorce. From last 3 months we are separate. Can I file divorce petition on this grounds? Also advice me where to file petition as my residence comes in Thane District in Maharashtra.

Charudatta

 

 



Learning

 27 Replies

hemant (student)     23 September 2010

why do not you try treating her

2 Like

(Guest)

use 12 1 c , supression of facts. it will not be covered u/s 5 . contact expert lawyer on these lines.

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     23 September 2010

In my opinion this cannot be a ground of divorce. Why don't you try helping her by giving her good treatment so that she can live a normal life and be a good wife and daughter-in-law.

3 Like

aflatoon dash (health)     23 September 2010

Charud 

Sorry to say you are wrong in your approach to the said case.She is your wife and she is ill.You are ignorant of her signs and symptoms and so have been the treating doctors.OCD(OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER ) is very much a treatable entity 30 TO 40 % CASES CAN LEAD AGOOD LIFE ..Be kind to her .OCD illness manifests with following symptoms ARE THEY PRESENT IN HER

Obsession -Repeated intrusive thoughts of own which patient recognizes as her own in form of dirt/doubt/slowness/order

Compulsion - Acts which are performed t by patient to reduce the anxiety that builds up likef washing/checking/arranging things in particular order.Pt ususally knows what they are doing is senseless but are compelled to follow thier repeated intrusive thoughts with abehhaviour like chicking/washing etc or they get tense.There is usually no fits in them .

You have written at several place what she does but never mentioned what medicine she takes.I think you are very much ignorant and you never applied yourself to treat her well.You are shifting the responsibility Its not advisable.OCD can hit any body in stressful periods of like

change of job

added resposibility in new house hold

child birth.

Why she should have "fits".Is it neurological seizure or hysterical seizure.I understand that your dream of married life is destroyed .But get her treated .You cannot undo the past.People might have hidden the illness but dont blame her for crulty if she is not treated properly.Do you have her treatment records of being ill before marraige.If not then dont think that she is having it  before marriage. Document your efforts of getting her treated and take the responsibility .After you have tried and failed or she is unwilling to accept her illness then only you think of divorce otherwise not.Its not right as per my perception.

Aflatoon

3 Like

tortured_aathma (none)     24 September 2010

go for divorce/annulment on fraud basis as it is difficult to live with people with mental disorder because after sometime her behavior can get into u also

1 Like

selfstudyinglawstudent (law student)     24 September 2010

I would strongly advice you and your wife to go for counselling sessions. It could also be that there are issues with you and your folks which she is not able to handle. Maybe she feels alienated too.

Take her to a good psychiatrist and get her treated for her medical condition.

Raazaa2010 (Management)     24 September 2010

Agree with you all... However, every one who gets married will have his/her dream and plans. Parents/groom or bride should be truthfull and disclose these kind of information. If they are not truthfull on this basic things, how can you trust on a longer run.

Also why to take this unneccesary financial burdens that to from not trustworthy people, instead you do the same kind of help to any destitute child or orphan.

 

My thoughts.....

Charud (EXECUTIVE)     24 September 2010

Thanks all of your suggestion regarding treating her but sorry to say I was intentionally good to her and shown to Genral Physician and Finally to Good psychiatrist for her wellness. But someone should mentally prepared to accept that "I want to be healthy" , "I want to be good to all". If there is no desire to accept & achieve anything then GOD (if there is) also cannot help in any regards.

I had never give away my any kind of responsibility towards her. I had always taken care of her. Always tried to understand her by her way but I was failed. Her parents never had intention to helping me in this situation and they are not understanding / accepting her problems. I'm not expecting any financial help but seeking moral support to her from them. In fact they are running away from helping her. None of her family want to stay with her at my house for supporting her inspite of my invitation to them for the same.

Why should I...

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     24 September 2010

Read Aflatoon's Dash ' s posting again for your question "Why Should I "? 

aflatoon dash (health)     24 September 2010

Charud,

1-get her psychological testing report from a trained clinical psychologist

2-WHAT MEDICINE SHE IS ON??

3-OCD is not big illness you will not get divorce

4-You are reactions are normal of any human being who suddenly discovers mental illness in spouse

5-Psychiatric patient become child like thats why they cannot take responsibility.You will have to get educated about her illness from internet and educate her parents.

6-Ask for help from her parents and explain them signs and affects of illness in your life.

7-Reduce your expectations from her.

8-Give yourself two years to get her treated by good psychiatrist

9-Check if her thyroid hormone is normal

10-Do your bit which is in your hand not expecting anything in return.

11-Dont play blame game with your inlaws

12- Avoid those relatives (not parents) who dont understand your problem

14-Look after your health ,finanaces and take good sleep

15-Surrender to will of god and do your duty as much as you have done.

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     24 September 2010

1. Secure her future with maintenance and part ways.


2. We are living in modern age, when wife is not willing to help a husband when he falls sick in the name of "career growth" here in the LCI forum as posted last month by a wife, then it is better to follow para 1 for the simple fact these are invisible forums where neither you know us nor I know you BUT reality of ground zero is the one which you are facing day-in day-out with your broken marriage especially living in a fast track metro. city Mumbai.


3. In today's modern
India there should not be any sympathy. You may not get divorce on presented grounds from Family Court but if you offer her maintenance then Mutual Consent Divorce application may be filled and or wait for IrBM (Amendment) Act Bill, 2010 which may be passed by winter season. Even under IrBM Amendment Act she will bargain under “exceptional hardship” grounds so what is being advised is not that bad in current scenarios. 

1 Like

(Guest)

ocd cannot be treated in 2 yrs as suggested by aflatoon. go with taj of india's advise.

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     25 September 2010

Reasoning:


1.
It is a case of 6 yrs. old marriage.


2. A working couple living in metros don’t even have time for eating proper breakfast least he / she may misses fast local to Churchgate / VT and suggesting HIM to invest further 2 years into experimental (visit to psy. is not every middle class couples cup of tea my dear friend Aflatoon Dash) and its treatment is a bad practico-legal advise further in absence of giving him well researched weblinks of nearest reputed (State MCI Registered) psychiatrist (contact addresses). Most of the reputed psychiatrists in Mumbai are Cumballa Hills /
Pedder Road / Bandra West areas based and this chap lives at opposite end of the suburb ! Mumbai is a fastlife metropolis keep that also in mind.


3. The marriage is dead for all practical purpose.


4. Reviving a dead marriage by getting painful yet expensive clubbed with patience treatment it self  is "cruelty" to a husband which if projected (conduct of wife) well before Family Court will emerge in favor of husband by the Bar before the Bench ! 


5. Hon'ble Ms. Dalvi is a pragmatic ladyship there understanding well what is a dead marriage in context to Mumbai's jam packed family court so he will succeed at the end.

1 Like

aflatoon dash (health)     25 September 2010

TajobsIndia,

1-what makes you think that its six years marriage?

2-We all are middle class our parents are middle class If One does not have time money and energy to invest in his spouse then  why get married  my dear  partner.For me institution of marriage is important and not being in thane /ahmdabad.To stand up for your partner in time of need is imp

3-His reaction is typical of any spouse who discovers illness in his spouse -Denail,Anger,shock and disbelief that his marriage dream is shattered.He and his spouse need reassurance and support and not further widening of cracks in their already strained relatinship.

4-I dont measure things in just 3-4 months as non curable as per charud-Is hypertension , diabets,bronchial asthma,arthrits curable .Do you divorce your spuse if she has it.

5-I dont see it as dead marraige.I see it more as "given up attitude"-no where medicines are discussed,No where her complance with medicine is mentioned.Fits is mentined as feets and no where CT SCAN /EEG IS MENTIONED.Ignorance and taboo against mental illnesss is staring In his as well as your post.

6-I give advise it is for him to follow .If he is intrested he will do it .He is intrested for divorce and he found LAWYERSCLUBOFINDIA.He will find out ocd site also.Aflatoon works differently from TajobsIndia.

7-My job is to throw light of knowledge and hope and divergent thinking and see if it works for him 3-4 months is too short period to asess any mental illness.

8-Lastly freind whether I am bad or good is your individual opinion I know My job and My job is to advise him Its for him to take or not.

Aflatoon

2 Like

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