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initiation of divorce after 9 years of marriage


I am very unlucky guy in terms of marriage. I married a girl whom my parents proposed after seeing the girl in temple. During the first meeting she was silent and i thought she is my match - yes instant attraction . Fate - now i am suffering.

I have 2 kids . First kid is nearly 8 years old and  1.3yrs back second kid born in america. Now i returned back during covid situation forcefully to India . Currently staying in home quarantine.

My wife suffered from depression during the year 2014 and was abusive verbally physically and emotionally/mentally - we had few months of seperation in india and even took her to doctor who diagnosed as it as split personality disorder. She will ask for divorce one day and the next day she will be acting like a happy kid with me . I was thinking of divorce during the year 2015 but later reconciled after mediation through relatives and cousins. Life after 2016 did had issues but we were in India and she used to abuse verbally stating ill and bad things about my aged father/mother. She used to talk daily to her mom who always pass bad information about my parents and so she will fight. I never used to take it to heart started to digest that. In 2017 i had a chance to travel to USA , eventhough i knew about my wife abusive behaviour - i took her in 2018 mid to USA . She was acting good as she wanted to visit all places in USA , due to her pressure i did took her and my only one daughter at that time to all places. Then she forced me to plan for next child, eventhough i was not interested . Then to avoid fights back at house , i agreed and my bad luck she got conceived. After child birth , she was good till 7 months. In the month of decemeber 2019 , we came to India to visit my parents as I wanted to show my second child to them . Well thats were problems started, my wife is a critical person and abuser always throws bad words and behaviour towards me and my family. She didnt like my mom , whatever my mom said got into her mind deeply. After returning back to USA in jan 2020, fights started again.

 

From Jan 2020 till Aug 2020 , it was daily fights. Sometimes it will continue for 3 days without water and food. She nevers gets cool down nor can be calmed down. During fights she will never cook nor she will feed children. She started violence and used to beat me and slap me multiple times. Well i reciprocated it by slapping her but she was like demon with much force in words and action. But when she is normal , she will act like she is a caring wife preparing food for everyone. At the end of the each fight she will say as if she is lost and i won but still will never conclude or close fights. Same thing will again continue for after 3 days. She used to speak the words and actions which happened 8 years ago during the first year of marriage. Even i forgot many things, but she will ask questins like why u did this ? why u r mom did this ? why your father did this ? why didnt u r question them ? give me the answers now. If i remain quiet, she will slap me and sit near without allowing me to do work. Unfortunately from March 2020 due to Covid it was work from home in all parts of USA. Work from home fueled the fire more. Whenever she sees me working peacefully or sleeping or eating she will abuse saying that i am happy , happily working , happily eating leading joyful life.

 

So i thought since my presence is causing trouble i started working from another bedroom  ( we had 2 bedrooms) and moved all belongings , mattress to there - but still she will hit the door and will come and fight. Once she was verbally and physically hitting me, i had to cry in front of my elder daughter, well eventually she was also crying. Elder daughter saw all the abuses done by my wife , she even advised my wife - why are u hurting father , better leave him and marry some one else. I know my daughter is matured enough to think like that. But in the itnerest of my daughter life , i thought i will move back to India.  I forcefully did that during this corona times risking everyones life to move away from violence. My wife is so cruel that she started linking me with my brother wife and calling me as womanizer and pussy licker. Her words were so cruel i felt like dying and i was helpless in a foreign land. I did shared my story to some fellow friends there and they recommended me to go india quickly as USA laws are different.

 

I dont know whether i did the correct thing. But in general my wife wants divorce and all the time abusing asking me to die so that she can be peaceful. She feels that I and my family members are disturbing but the real truth she is blaming us for her own bad corrupted mind and actions.

 

I lost all my patience , I dont think i will be able to lead a peaceful life with a mentally sick person who is critical of each and every word/action. She is also cruel and abusing in all ways, Her emotional abuse is like , she will keep shouting and she wont allow you to leave the house . She will block the front door of the house. Once i tried to run out of the house in USA , she came running behind me barefooted and pulled me back into the house. Due to fear factor i had to abide to her in USA. My life was like a prey in the spider web from the emotional front.

I stopped sharing all intimate thoughts right from Jan 2020 .Infact i stopped talking to her like as usual from March 2020. Physical abuse was so high in March 2020 that she shouted and screamed at night 3 am during saturdays and sunday. She also warned me that if i call her mom or dad, I had to face consequences. Even if i call her mom , she will say that her daughter is not happy with me and i always say wrong things about her. Truth is no one ready to accept the mental behaviour of my wife and also my wife is not accepting that she is wrong. My wife always blames others for her state of mind.

Now we are in a rented premises . Now what are the options available to me to initiate divorce ?

I did recorded most of the fights in my phone, can they be used as evidence ?

My rented premises is some 5 kms away from my parents house . My parents own their house.  My address proofs are linked to my parents house.

My MIL and FIL live in a different place. They own their house. My wife's address proofs are linked to her parents house.

Myself and my wife never had a common address proof .

I am fine with my 2 kids being brought up by my father in law. He is a good guy marired to a bad woman (my mother in law).

 

Please kindly share your thoughts.

Note: I did posted a message 5 years back in this portal , but due to reconcilation i didnt act upon the advice provided by others.

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/how-to-initiate-divorce-after-3-yrs-marriage-119594.asp

 
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Lawyer

Too long a story to go through and oblige.

It would be appropriate to consult a local prudent lawyer for appreciation of facts, guidance and necessary proceeding

 
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LEGAL

It is wear and tear of life. It appears you are gifted with a lot of patience.A humble person is always winner .

I would advise at this stage only one thing and that is to leve her in her parental home and escape your freedom to America, and stay alone there for some time may be years till she comes to senses. However if you can take your parents with you other wise she could put them in trouble by filing FIR under DV or 498A.

Be calm and try to move back to US don't take her,,till you are in US  she can do nothing, change your address and place of living and don let her know where you saty. try to change your contact details . 

Or just file for divorce ,it will take much time as she won't leave you easily but let the docments be filed ,only option left is file for divorce, gather as much of evidance as possible and even seek certificate of doctor for her mental condition.

 
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Advocate

Facts stated suggest that you need to sift grain from the chaff and take a purpose approach either in redeeming the marriage or otherwise. So long as you continue with the confused approach even the law may not able to offer much of an assistance.

 
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well, if you guys are not able to live in peace, you can take divroce. Yes all the video/chats can be evidence to get a contested divorce.

kindy mail at mishrasatyam6804@gmail.com for detailed guidance.

Regards
 
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Thanks. Yesterday went for an advice to a local lawyer without my wife knowledge. 

 

He advised me to abscond for 10 days from work , so that he can send an initial notice to her parents house . 

Now i dont have option to travel to USA , only option available is to hide somewhere within India. 

 

Any one faced situations like this ? 

 

 

 
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