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rajiv (engineer)     18 July 2015

Husband & wife

Hi Everyone,

Just needed your suggestion on this.

My sister and her husband is married for 14 years. Her husband is having an extra marrital affair with another girl. And he started beating my sister a lot. Both side family tried many times patching them and saying him to leave the other girl. He is reluctatnt to leave that girl. My sister and her husband has two kids. One is 12 year and another is 6 year old. Both kids are in Paying guest and studying in mangalore. His annual income is close to 50 Lakhs. Day by day it is going worst after patching them many times.

So the family has decided to go in two ways. 

1. 

My sister will not give divorce till the kids become major, because kids need both mother and father.

Let my sister stay away from him because he is very dangerous, he wont get to know what he will do.

What we are thinking is let him give all the maintenance cost for my sister as well to the kids. i.e every month he has to give some money to them for their maintainance.

My question is How can be make this deal guaranteed?

Do we have to use section 125 Cr pc, so that court know this is the agreement between two parties.

I need your suggestion on this please..

 

2. If the first approach fails.

This is the second appraoch.

What are the Criminal cases my sister can file against him?

We want to file more number of cases on him so that he will always be busy on attending these cases.

What are the charges my sister can file against the other girl also?

 

 

 



Learning

 13 Replies

saravanan s (legal advisor)     18 July 2015

you can ask for maintenance for both her and her kids under crpc 125.in addition to that maintenance case you can also file 498a, dv on him.

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     18 July 2015

UR sister can file cases for maintenance both for herself and kids,498A DV and also for adultery.Why should she and the children suffer when the man is enjoying his life.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     19 July 2015

Hi Rajiv...

 

You wrote that "My sister will not give divorce till the kids become major, because kids need both mother and father.".

 

But here your query revolves around the ways to get father's money than father.

 

Are you also going to ensure that the kids will have access to both father and mother?

 

Please make sure your sister's kids have unlimited and uninterrupted access to their father and mother.

 

 

A kid will have complete wholistic growth only with the presence of both mother and father.

 

But the father will get aggravated if you file criminal cases on him and make him busy in courts.

 

He will also find all ways to delay or avoid giving maintenance.

 

 

So, it is better to talk to him and assure him the full access to children and he should automatically start spending on them.

 

 

If you portray him as criminal in the courts, your sister and kids loose the love, trust, care and respect of the father.

 

But they may end up getting some money after a long legal battle where not only the father but the kids and mom also will roam to courts.

 

 

Better option would be for your sister and her husband to stay away but children should be accessible to both.

 

No criminal cases should be filed on your sister's husband unless your sister wants to aggravate her husband and push him to apply for divorce.

 

If your sister goes to court to file 125/498 cases on her husband then the marriage literally ends at that point and all your plans to have "good life for your sister and her kids" will become a dream.

 

You don't have any doubts on the statement above.

 

 

If your sister is bold and sensitive enough, then she should settle matters amicably via Mutual Consent Divorce.

 

 

Please evaluate the emotional effects of legal options and the welfare of the kids before going to court or police station.

 

 

 

rajiv (engineer)     19 July 2015

Originally posted by : Prasad

Hi Rajiv...

 

You wrote that "My sister will not give divorce till the kids become major, because kids need both mother and father.".

 

But here your query revolves around the ways to get father's money than father.

 

Are you also going to ensure that the kids will have access to both father and mother?

 

Please make sure your sister's kids have unlimited and uninterrupted access to their father and mother.

 

 

A kid will have complete wholistic growth only with the presence of both mother and father.

 

But the father will get aggravated if you file criminal cases on him and make him busy in courts.

 

He will also find all ways to delay or avoid giving maintenance.

 

 

So, it is better to talk to him and assure him the full access to children and he should automatically start spending on them.

 

 

If you portray him as criminal in the courts, your sister and kids loose the love, trust, care and respect of the father.

 

But they may end up getting some money after a long legal battle where not only the father but the kids and mom also will roam to courts.

 

 

Better option would be for your sister and her husband to stay away but children should be accessible to both.

 

No criminal cases should be filed on your sister's husband unless your sister wants to aggravate her husband and push him to apply for divorce.

 

If your sister goes to court to file 125/498 cases on her husband then the marriage literally ends at that point and all your plans to have "good life for your sister and her kids" will become a dream.

 

You don't have any doubts on the statement above.

 

 

If your sister is bold and sensitive enough, then she should settle matters amicably via Mutual Consent Divorce.

 

 

Please evaluate the emotional effects of legal options and the welfare of the kids before going to court or police station.

 

 Hi Prasad,

Thank you for your much needed infromation on this.

As I said before "My sister will not give divorce till the kids become major, because kids need both mother and father."

I meant to say that. The kids should get love from both mother and father. We wont be stopping father to meet kids or show love on his children. The kind of love from father and mother is just maintained as it is. Only thing is my sister wont be staying with him. Because he is very dangerous. He wont get to know what he is doing when he is so angry. Let him give the maintaince for my sister and kids . We want this agreement to come from court. For this to happen.

How should we approach court on this agreement by both parties?

Are there is any section so that court also knows . I mean section 125 Cr pc

All these thing should happen without divorce.

If he is given divorce he will marry other person.

 



 

 

rajiv (engineer)     19 July 2015

Originally posted by : saravanan.s
you can ask for maintenance for both her and her kids under crpc 125.in addition to that maintenance case you can also file 498a, dv on him.

 Hi,

Thank you for the suggestion.

Without giving divorce can the agreement between two parties for the maintainace of herself and kids  can be done using 125 crpc?

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     19 July 2015

Thank you Rajiv for the taking care of the kids.

 

Kids cannot talk for themselves and the current child custoday law is an injustice to kids.

 

The current kid custody law favours mother to own child till 5 years of age. 

 

This legal provision is absolute atrocity on the kids rights.

 

If you go and watch the kids coming to family courts, your heart will become heavy and you will cry.

 

So, thank you Rajiv for the taking care of the kids.

 

You said that "He wont get to know what he is doing when he is so angry.".

 

Hope your sister's husband does not behave the same way with his kids.

 

Why is your sister's husband behaving so only with your sister?

 

Does your sister have to do any self introspection and do something to gain the trust and love of her husband?

 

If your sister has some love and trust left for her husband, then she should not file any case to get money from her husband.

 

She should talk, convenice him to give money.

 

Else, she should file some legal case [possibly adultery case] and then file maintenance case to get money.

 

As soon as your sister files a legal case on her husband, her husband will surely file divorce case and he will get the divorce one day or the other in 2 to 5 years.

 

And he would do everything to escape from giving any money to your sister.

 

So, without divorce, your sister can make her husband pay money for only few years and then some permanent alimony after final divorce decree.

 

Your sister can never indefinitely deny divorce to her husband for ever and continue to get money.

 

 

 

saravanan s (legal advisor)     20 July 2015

even without applying for divorce you can ask maintenance under crpc 125

rajiv (engineer)     20 July 2015

Hi Prasad,

His behaviour is same with everyone. He had beaten my sister many times in front of kids. He uses dirty and filty language while scolding. When my family and also hiw own family asked him why is it you are doing all these. He scolded all of them very badly. He has good money. He thinks that by throwing money he is taking good care of kids.

I feel that the way he was brought up has made him like this. In his early age itself he became the owner for his father property and he never faced difficulties as far as money is concerned.He had beaten many times his own father. Many times his father used to curse him and cry.

About my sister what he says is " she is not beautiful enough for him itseems". I dont know how beautiful she should look for him. Currently he is behind one girl . I have seen that girl. My sister is far better that that girl. I dont know what has attracted him on her. Not only this girl he was behind many other girls even after marriage. I feel that atlest for the sake of kids he can lead a very good life. Many people nowadays wont be having kids. But this fellow has tow beautiful kids one is 12 year and other is 6 year old.

As a temporary solution and till the kids become major we dont want to give divorce. once they are major depending on the situation we can think on it or the kids themself can do something on this.

Without divorce for a maintainance what she can do?

And suppose If she goes for a divorce whom will the kids go now?

rajiv (engineer)     20 July 2015

Hi Prasad,

As you had asked

"If your sister has some love and trust left for her husband, then she should not file any case to get money from her husband."

She still has love on her husband. But he does not want my sister. He wont give divorce itseems but my sister should give itseems. This is his statement. 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     20 July 2015


Rajiv...


If your sister's husband is always like this from childhood, then you did not do a good job of enquiring well about him before marrying your sister to him.

 

Now, the responsibility of saving marriage and the kids lies with both your sister and her husband.

 

She cannot expect her husband only to give money.

 

In fact, your sister can demonstrate boldness and self respect by not asking any money from him.


And you keep using the word "seems". This means you have only assumptions about your sister's husband.

 

Better you try to talk to your sister's husband and try to understand what is in that man's mind.

 

May be your sister is telling only one side of the story to you.

 

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, your sister can never indefinitely deny divorce to her husband for ever and continue to get money.

 

As you said that your sister loves her husband, then she definitely should not file any case on her husband just to get money from him.

 

Then your sister's husband will immediately file for divorce.


Your sister and her husband have 2 kids. So, her husband cannot now talk about the beauty of his wife.

 

As you said, the other girl is not so beautiful compared to your sister, your sister's husband may have got more care from other girl than your sister can give.

 

This is a general assumption.


Because men wants his wife to give more peace of mind and care than being beautiful.

 

If your sister's husband humiliates your sister for her looks, then your sister should divorce him.


In unavoidable worst case, If your sister plans to go for divorce, then your sister and her husband should chart out a parenting plan so that they do not make the life of their kids miserable.

rajiv (engineer)     05 August 2015

Hi All,

Thank you all for the suggestions and help.

My family and my sisters husband family have come to one amicable decision on this matter. There wont be any cases aginsts my sister husband and also no divorce for the sake of kids.

My sister will be staying here in Bangalore by taking care of kids. Her husband said that he will be paying entire expense including kids school fees , medical things and my sister medical things and everything. He will get a flat may be rent or a own flat.

 

My question is:

In court how we can make this mutual agreement decree.?

What is the procedure to be followed here ?

Does crpc 125 can be used here or anything else we have to use here?

s kumar (not)     05 August 2015

Well said Mr. Prasad, I will appreciate yr word as husband  "Because men wants his wife to give more peace of mind and care than being beautiful."   

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     06 August 2015

Hello Rajiv... 

 

Why are you still talking about "mutual agreement decress" and "125 CriminalProcedureCode".

 

 

What crime has happened here?

 

 

If, all details, what you have stated is true, let the life of your sister go on.

 

 

Law has no place here anymore. 

 

 

Do not ruin the life of your sister and her kids.

 

 

 

 

 


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