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How to prove dowry harassment

Page no : 2

Shwetha (Software Engineer)     19 February 2012

how to prove hat he did demand for money

if he demanded for money or anything else after marriage then things get a little difficult. if any of his demdns were ever met then good...you can prove that as mentioned above...if none of those demands were ever met then...this exactly where your parents and relatives get into the picture with their witness and ofcourse cross-examining of your brother-in-law and sister-in-lw would also help...you can also try to prove that he was indeed need of money then...like say may he was in debts...if he wanted to buy a flat or a car or something...he would done some research...you can gather evidence for the same and question him as to why was doing all this when he never had the money to buy it...from where was he planning to pool up the money for the same...however its difficult though...it all depends on how he handles himself with these kind of questions...

but trust me if has done the mistake of harassing you for dowry he is bound to do mistakes to save his ass...theres a saying...'ek jhoot ko chupane ke liye 100 jhoot bolne padte hain'...they become overly defensive and end up doing a mistake...so just relax...if your allegations are not fake and its a genuine one then its him who needs to worry..not you..

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Shwetha (Software Engineer)     19 February 2012

regarding your DV case, dont you worry...just be strong...your husbands behaviour in the court will be observed...like say for example...if your husband responds to allegations right away clearly mentioning what was given as streehan and what was gifted and that he is willing to return you your streedhan then the judge might look upn him to be a gentleman and you to be a crooked woman who is unnecessarily misusing the law and harassing the husband...you will have to produce very srong evidence of the abuse in that case..

however, if your husband uses delay tactics trying to proplong the case and waste your time and the court's time, there by harassing you and using the loopholes in the law to his advantage, the judge will come to a conclusion that there is no smoke without fire...if your husband did harass you then he will get overly defensive and say that you had wlaked-in just plain clothes and that nothing was ever gifted to him and that you never brought anything from your parents...this the judge is not going to blieve again becasue it almost never happens...so if he says that then relax...you almost won your DV case...

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Shwetha (Software Engineer)     19 February 2012

these are just few of the options and things I could think of...all in all it all depends on how your husband responds and how the case proceeds...please keep us posted on the proceedings of your case and we will be glad to help you out...

Shwetha (Software Engineer)     19 February 2012

@Swapnil

you too should start recording your conversations...and try sending emails or letters to wife telling her that you want to work on your marriage and you want her to co-operate. Specify the issues you have with her in detail (like she demanding money for her parents) and request her to work on them. At the same time ask her to let you know of her issues with you and tell her that you wil be willing to work on them. If she responds and fails to mention the demand for dowry then you got it...you can get her 498A squashed the moment she files it using this as evidence. however plz do all this only if you really want to work on your rlationship.

if you guys have decided to part ways, the do send her an email or better write her a letter but remember to be very policte in it and ask indirectly for divorce and do remember to clearly specify that everything that is hers is hers...if she is living away from you you can even say that she is most welcome to come and collect everything she needs and everything that is hers...if she doesnt respond and goes ahead filing 498A mentioning the same articles as dowry then you can get it qushed on the basis of this letter...if your in-laws have ever given you any money then send them a letter saying that you are willing to return them the money or that you need some time to gather the funds to return them that money...this will also help you get your 498a squashed...

please remember that you are bound to return her all her streedhan and any money if given to you by your in-laws...if you can do that before your wife files the 498A and DVC then that good for everybody...so it is better you send her such letters and even return her things if she asks for with an acknowledgement...if she still goes ahead and files the 498A and DV, it will be her trouble and not you...these letters will save you when your 498A comes to hearing...

**Vikram** (Managing Partner)     19 February 2012

Shweta

I am not misguiding her..or asking her to withdraw the cases...it is her choice...I was trying to show the other path...to me it is the brighter path...

 

She can fight the cases for the next ten years...run around now Trial Court, Sessions court, High Court then Suprme Court..not less than 15 years...

 

If she come to know that the marriage is not going to work...She can just walk out..when the demands were made..kick your inlaws on the face and file a divorce on Cruelty grounds...she need not look at their faces again...

 

To me ..the other path is full of joy and happines...

Let us assume that she gets a MCD and is free in 6 months time...she has all the time in the world to restructure her life once again...lets say she again gets married after 3 years..if she files cases..no matter how much she says that it was the fault of her husband...no  one will agree..these cases cannot be used to prove the husband wrong..

It is generally used as a tool to blame it all on the husband...that since there is a case..the guy is a crimina...

In these 3 years she can....build up on all positive things..in her life...

1) She can study

2) Get a good job

3) Have a boyfriend..

4) Travel..and see places..

5) Take care of parents as far as possible

6) Make her dreams come true..

7) Do mountain Climbing..adventure sportts..or whatever..

8) Read, watch her favorite movies..party and what not...

9) Being a girl..she can groom herself..make herself look better, smarter and beautiful...(Otherwise all the beauty will be consumed by the lawyers in the court)

10) Add whatever you want..in the list..all positive things..

 

If you want positive things in your life...you have to make space for it...if all the spaces are occupied with Court, police, evidence, witness...where is the space and this will continue for next 15 years...

 

Also, being a woman, she might loose all the chances of being a mother..which is the most happy thing for a woman...if the case drags on and continues till she is 40+

 

The society is utter sh*t..they will keep saying sh*t...but if you listen and believe in that sh*t..you are gone..and doomed..

 

So the choice is completely hers...she can loose all the good years in the court cases or be happy and explore life...

 

Vikram

 

3 Like

**Vikram** (Managing Partner)     19 February 2012

I just wanted to add a conversation between Oskar Schindler and Amon Goeth from the movie..Schindler's List....thought it might help...

 

Oskar Schindler: Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we don't
Amon Goeth: You think that's power? 
Oskar Schindler: That's what the Emperor said. A man steals something, he's brought in before the Emperor, he throws himself down on the ground. He begs for his life, he knows he's going to die. And the Emperor... pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go. 
Amon Goeth: I think you are drunk. 
Oskar Schindler: That's power, Amon. That is power.

 

Vikram

1 Like

Shwetha (Software Engineer)     19 February 2012

@Vikram

I really appreciate your view and completely agree with you...i also understand what you say about power above...i too think she should more worry about giving her own a second chance instead of destroying her husband's life.

 

but cant this poor girl file for divorce right away...does she really have to wait for 498A to be finished...i know she can get MCD in 6 months and a contested divorce will take 2-3 years or may be even more...but wouldnt it be the right thing to do...

1 Like

dowry victim (housewife)     19 February 2012

I have no beauty left to be groomed

I have no dreams left to be fulfilled

I have no desire to get married again...I am better off alone

my parents can take care of themselves

I have decided to adopt a child from an orphanage

ranjeeth (manager)     19 February 2012

HI,

 Dont get deppressed .. life has long way to go  if you really  want your husband talk to him and try to resolve outside the court, with out wasting time .  as these cases will carry long way  for years  wasting your valuable time.

**Vikram** (Managing Partner)     19 February 2012

 

Some questions come..

1) how much educated is she? Will she be able to work with the qualification she has..or she need more education..

2) How old is she?

2) Does she have a baby? If No then good.

 

If she is educated and not working now..she has to see what are her chances of getting a job..does she have a professional qualification...I can see that she is a housewife...

 

Will she be able to work after a divorce..after a mental trauma...? She has to make herself mentally stronger..it will take time to be normal..

 

She should definitely file for maintenance...either 125 CrPC or Dv (Already filed)...if she cannot work right away..

 

In my opinion..she should ask her husband ( or in the court) to pay for a good professional qualification ( in case she does not have one) in a good univeristy (Anything that will get her a job after she finishes her degree) ...as a settlement amount...and should go for MCD..

 

She can file a quashing petition in the HC..u.s 482 CrPC..with the condition that he will pay for her education etc etc..

 

This is not wrong..because she is asking only for the fees for doing a professional degree...No husband/Court should disagree with this...

 

With this she can study and then work on her own..

 

This is my view...one needs money to raise a child from an orphanage...one needs to be self sufficient first and then raise a kid...there is no short cut..

 

Vikram

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Shwetha (Software Engineer)     19 February 2012

she should get some compensation in her DV case right? she can use that to get herself a career/job.

gimme a better reason why you think she should withdraw her cases.

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Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     19 February 2012

General assumptions of wife-side.

 

Laws are favouring women.

 

We can agree for settlement any time as per our wish. Why not harass husband & his family till then & enjoy the fun.

 

against our wish, the husband cant get divorce & remarry & settle in life. So - its the husband-side who needs compromise more than wife-side !

 

If the husband side is rich & prestigious, they are more vulnerable.


incidences of beggers', hawkers', poor workers' wives filing 498a are rare.


2 Like

(Guest)

 

incidences of beggers', hawkers', poor workers' wives filing 498a are rare.


Amit, this line shows how you husbands have mentality towards your wives..You harrass them like above persons and expect wives to bear all them silently?

2 Like

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     19 February 2012

 

Dear Dowry Victim:

 

 

I read your post and the responses in the chronological order. I got demoralized further and further going down the post until I came to Swetha, when I got a whiff of air.

 

In this forum most males are 498A or DV Act victims, members of SIFF or just plain male chauvinists. So do not expect sound advice from them. This may apply to your lawyer also, whether male or female.

 

You say you have complained under Sec 498A and DV Act. You have also stated that it is 6 months since you filed. Did you file the cases alone or with the assistance of your parents or other blood relations?  What all have happened in these 6 months? Were your husband and in-laws arrested? Where is each one of them now? Are they out on bail?  How long were they in lock-up or jail? What is your father-in-law? What is your husband?  What is your father? Where are you now, in the matrimonial home or in your parental home? Are your parental home and matrimonial home in the same city, town or village?  If not how far from each other are they? Are your parents and your brother, if you have one, help you to fight the case financially and otherwise?

 

Shwetha has answered most of your questions and has given you advice as to how to go about. In this country it is near impossible to get the guilty punished. That is the reason why our law makers have devised laws that will first punish the accused and then proceed against them and acquit them. So if your husband and in-laws had already been in jail, be happy even if they get acquitted in due course. You may have to spend money until the case is concluded. But your husband also is in the same boat. Your father-in-law advised you to give money to your husband as he needed that. I do not know why he needed money then. But now I know that he will need money not only to fight the case but also to finance all the links in the law enforcement chain. Are you going to give him money for that, certainly not?

 

You proceed at your own pace and don’t get disappointed if he was not punished in the end. He may have already got the punishment. If your husband comes for settlement, you not only recoup the money spent but also claim good compensation. Have you got a child? If so, claim his/her maintenance too.

 

I am sure that when you filed cases against your husband, you would have decided to part company with him. Or do you still hope to join him?

 

Some people are advising you to take things lying down and that your wisdom lies in that. If you also feel so, follow their advice.

 

I wish you good luck and justice. Finally I say that I am a male and not a female.

2 Like

dowry victim (housewife)     19 February 2012

thank you so much...

I filed the case with the help of my father and brother...my husband was in jail for one day and parents-in-law are out on ACB..i am in my parental home with my matrimonial home being just 3 km away...my father is a retired employee...my husband is a software engineer...i dont have kids....my father and my brother are helping me manage my legal expenses...

my FIL is far from retirement age but does nothing...only watches serials and news al day long in TV...my husband needed money all the time for a lot of different reasons...

they want to go for out-of-court settlement but i am not interested due a lot of different reasons.

1. they think marriage is a businees deal and a good source of income...if it works it works...and if it doesnt just go for MCD and hunt for a fresh victim...i cant let them destroy anybody elsez life...

2. i had once considered settling things amicably, but the moment i responded, they started demandiing me to withdraw my cases..they said they would TALK (returning me my things comes later only after we talk) only after i withdrew my cases...i gave up on this idea the very day as this didnt at all sound right to me...

3. after that they came to my lawyer a couple of times telling him that we can talk and that i need not withdraw my cases until things are settled but I should stop the legal proceeding and stop going to the court until then..this again didnt sound right...so i never even responded...

4. now they have started comming to my lawyer and say that they want to sit and talk and settle things right away...but they always slep for 3 weeks and come only 2-3 days prior to my DV case date and say that...i understand the moment i agree they will leave the talks half way and ask for an adjournment date in cthe court on the pretext of negotiations for out of court settlement...

5. Lastly what is the need to sit and talk...my requirements are clear...i want everything thats mine back...i dont need to sit and talk and fight for my own things outside the court like this...i would rather fight in the court...

my lawyer was right when he said i should hav asked for huge amount of money because they always bargain...but i made it crystal clear that i want my things back..so they are bargaining...let them keep bargaining...

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