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How should she avoid bullying mother-inlaw & sister-inlaws?


My colleague named Monica married a man named Puneet(arranged marriage).Puneet has 3 married brothers who live with his parents..


Monica & Puneet live separately,but they are expected to visit inlaws' house every month.


Now her mum-inlaw taunts her in some way or the other,in front of her sister-inlaws.She will criticse her cooking,her dress,her parents,and just everything.Her comments are extremely humiliating.


But when my colleague's husband is around,she will suddenly start behaving nicely and lovingly.Obviously she is showing off her son that she is a great MIL.


So the sister inlaws also get amused and enjoy these scenes.Rather they start siding with the mum-inlaw,so that they get her respect.


Many times,these SILs also pass indirect comments on her.They know that the MIL doesn't respect her.So she will not get her support.They also comment when the husband is not around,but in front of him,they act nicely.When she replies back to them,they complain to the husband that she disrespects them.


When my colleague tries telling her husband later on,how these women illtreat her,he shouts at her,because he has not seen the same.He doesn't believe her at all.


So my colleague is very depressed.She refuses to go to that house each month,because she knows that they will play this game again.


When she tells her husband that she won't go to that house again as she has her own dignity & respect,he gets hurt and this leads to fights.He says that these women are like his mothers and she has to respect them at each cost..He will not listen to anything against them.He accuses her of not being able to maintain family relations.


Rather he also forces her to invite them to his house and cook meals for them.But she says she will not cook or entertain bullies.

Otherwise they will also laugh behind the back,that this doormat is serving us,because her husband does not trust her.He trusts us.


My colleague & her husband had good relations otherwise..But because she refuses to go there or invite them,it is now creating a distance.



My colleague has tried every bit to please those women,to the extent of tiring herself in kitchen,in household work,speaking to them nicely despite insults,& so on,so that they are pleased.But they are always finding faults and making fun of her.In short bullying her!


Now what should my colleague do:


1. To save her marriage?

2. To avoid getting insulted by them?

3. To make her husband believe her words?He refuses to listen and leaves the room,when she even takes their name


 4 Replies

Sushant Singh (Private Service)     27 July 2011

Simple !! collect evidence and show it to the husband, tape the conversations with MIL's and SIL's,  or use a mobile phone to do the same. Collect enough evidence which is irrefutable !!


Thank you for the advice.


Practically,it is not convenient to keep a mobile phone/recorder switched on at all times,when she is with the inlaws.


It is also difficult to carry these items alongwith her in every place.For example,in a kitchen,where the moisture may spoil it,or on the terracce/balcony,etc where there is so much traffic noise.So their voices will not get recorded properly...



Also,with so many women standing there,anyone may come to know that she is recording. 


So suggest easy to follow and practical ways.


qazwsx2 (dsfdsg32132)     27 July 2011


A fool son-in-law

Three son-in-law to mount tai life, each have ye shall be a poem, in order to show the worship of the heart. Big son-in-law in the yard of pear trees see open positive amorous, 


bees, and the winds increased during the dancing, bees were fly without a trace, so a poem: "the flowers are very good-looking, pear tree provoked hundreds of thousands of bees, 


a violent wind blown." Two son-in-law looked at his father-in-law made of wheat straw with food store is big and round, is make poems said: "the son of the father, according to 


make up very good-looking, moving the mouse hundreds of thousands, a flower cat walk." Three son-in-law looked at busy busy in the mother-in-law, get a brainwave, poetry yue: 


"mother-in-law grow very good-looking, make go whoring guest hundreds of thousands, old father-in-law's a great scattered."

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Mahadeva Rao G (ADVOCATE)     30 July 2011

Hi   princess,  u r collegue is  lucky  to  have such a good friend  like  u  who is taking  all  the  pain to  check out  is  she  can  help  her.

Now  as sushant  singh  adviced  the evidence  can  be  recorded  and shown to the  husband   probably  there  is a chance  then that he  can  understand.

u r collegue  should take  chance  and  risk  to  record  such  abuse.

Well  ultimately  and  unfortunately  its  WOMEN  v/s  WOMEN.

God bless u r collegue.   Since  any  legal moves will   only  affect the family  life of your  collegue.

Mahadeva  Rao  G      ADVOCATE     9845285555   BANGALORE.

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