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vanraj (tso)     22 October 2009

hidding physical deformity before marriage

My name is vanraj n my inlaws did not reveal before marriage o the physical deformity(extremely small)one breast of the girl.

which only can be corrected by getting a breast implant done, if she wears a salwar kameez or a kurta the difference is there to see and is very embarrasing for me.

Marriage date Nov 2008.After marriage i discovered that i could not be interested in physical relation with her because of the condition even if i tried.

she also is agressive and when asked abt the issue says atleast some of it is there. I tried my level best to adjust but could not now we are seperated for six months we do not clik mentally as well.

i want to end this troubled marriage as i have had mental torture eversince i reallised i was a scapegoat for my inlaws and my wife and i have not overcome the fact that i was cheated. If they would have taken in confidence the women folk of my house and informed them about the deformity i would have never married the girl.

Please help me i am distressed i want divorce from my wife so i can end the misery for  myself and her from the troubled life.



Learning

 10 Replies

Suchitra. S (Advocate)     22 October 2009

Vanraj ji,  well by now I understand you have decided to divorce your wife. But under what ground you claim divorce? Cruelty? No grounds prescribed under HMA will siut your case. You can try to file a case under S.13B for divorce with mutual consent, if she is willing.

Anjali (IT)     23 October 2009

no court will accept your reason for divorce...better do breast implant and start "enjoy" your life...I wonder is that the only thing in life to be enjoyed with wife ?

Vikas Dharmendra (Consultant)     23 October 2009

it is because he feel so,,,  every person before marriage sholud be clear about all facts and deformaties,,, facts should not be hidden,,,,  now a days just for the purpsoe of marriage peoples(Parents) are hiding facts and makeing life hell of the persons those are going to married.... I don't know why this is happening and why peoples just want to marry by hiding facts??

Vanraj you can go for Mutual Consent Divorce  or from a mental cruality case if mutual consent doesn't  goes..

Anil Agrawal (Retired)     23 October 2009

Some women can't bear children. Their fallopian tubes are blocked. Some men suffer from impotency because of low sperm count. Either spouse can lose a limb in an accident after the marriage. What should be done? Seek divorce in each case?

Vikas Dharmendra (Consultant)     24 October 2009

 

Dear Anil     You said all these conditions after marriage,,,, but if it is there before marriage, they should be clarified,, No boady have right to play with other's life,,,,, Everyone should do in whatever he/she will be happy throught life

Anil Agrawal (Retired)     24 October 2009

 Who clarifies before marriage that the girl can't bear children and the boy is impotent? Do parents get them tested before marriage? Do we know whether the girl is virgin? I think we are going into the realm of fantasy.

Vikas Dharmendra (Consultant)     24 October 2009

Every human being knows about his/her disformaties,,,although it is not necessary that things should be tested,,  ,, there are some other things also those are not required to test and always be present like vanraj said,,,, at least these kind of things should be clarified....or I think ,, in this nmodern era,,,, peoples should match their helath profile as well,, they should have medical test before marriage,, and Govt. Should make it mendatory for registration for marriage....

Anil Agrawal (Retired)     24 October 2009

 The most detestable word is 'SHOULD'. Government should do this or that, we should do this or that, the other person should do this or the other thing.

What has changed in the modern era? Contours of a woman and man have changed. What happened when our parents were married?

Do you suggest :

1. HIV positive testing

2. BP, Diabetes, Asthma

3. Formation of ovaries and testes

4. Presence or absence of heart, kidney, liver, lungs

5. Hearing and vision

6. Virility of man

If so, I support you.

Vikas Dharmendra (Consultant)     25 October 2009

Medical science has changed in this era, and now a days lot of girls/students are palying role of call gile as a partime business,,, our parent's not doing those things,,,, previous ara  everythong was depends on luck,,, even now a days also....It is not necessary that govt should do,,, if any body want to marry AIDS pateints ,, they should be free to do that....

I think whatever deseases you listed,,,, no body will like to marry with the affected person...and now a days everybody shold go through medical test every year and should be aware for shi/her helath,, if someone is affected ,, he/she sure explain these things to his/her perspective partner,,,,I don't understand that how anybody can play with others life if he/she does not deserve for him/her........      after marriage anything happen that is different case.... but before marriage all the cases should be discussed... those people tried to hide facts are not good by character ,, because they lied at the peresnt moment...,,,    

Anil Agrawal (Retired)     25 October 2009

 Idealism and reality are two different things. Life partners are cheating each other left, right and centre. Value system in society has changed. Pre-marital s*x is not a taboo now. Parents either willingly or helplessly allow their children to spent the night out in disco, parties, picnics and they are not fools not to know what is going on. We should do it, we should do that. We shall end our life on this cliche of  "should" but shall achieve nothing. What are the socalled "liberated" women telling us - to be free from family bondage and  to lead independent life and let the family go to dogs. 

Sach ka Samna was only the tip of the iceberg. 


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