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Have Children ?? Then, Do NOT Divorce

Page no : 2

NATARAJAN IYER (Proprietor)     08 September 2015


@ Born Fighter


If a parent cant take proper care of their own child then his/her existence in this world is meaningless.




Lot of judicious judgement has to be exercised before the exercise of se x is commited after getting married. Marriage as I say is not just a 1 day affair, lot of things go into marriage and se x is not just for pleasure, but puts both the husband and wife in more responsible position as eventually they will be father and mother to their child that they give birth to.  But seldom do husband and wife think all this and its importance, and end up in court halls spoling childs mind and future.

My take is, if one ends up in court after having kids, better come to common understanding as to what to do with the kids in a responsible fashion and not to drag them into court because of personal differences.  Atleast like that kids future wont get spoilt.

Sarmmarmbb (goi)     19 September 2015

please discuss at this forum law.  dont please make this place gloomy. 

NATARAJAN IYER (Proprietor)     19 September 2015

@ Sarmmarmbb


What is gloomy about the discussion ?


Law deals directly with Life.


Gloom drives a person to seek relief.


when the gloom is due to a mis-use of legal loop-holes, people come to such forums.


The IPC and CrPC and CPC,...etc laws describe LIFE and it's METHODS.


So, please have humane thought.


The pain that people undergo, due to broken families is best known to them.


We might not be able to remove that pain since it is their share of fate, but in the least, we can atleast throw some light upon few areas of darkness and remove a small portion of their pain, if not entirely.


Thanks for your understanding.

Bunty   25 September 2015

Dear Sir, the issue of people coming to divorce is the extreme step which any individual or couple take. Hence couples should not divorce if they have kids makes some sense but even if they stay together doesn't it mean emotional torture for all the members . Even for the kids to see there mom and dad fighting, abusing and yelling at each other a reason for disturbed childhood and thus his/her future.  I think that even if you have children and there is no love left for the couple to continue married life..divorce with mutual consent with a proper understanding of responsibility would be a proper way out.

NATARAJAN IYER (Proprietor)     25 September 2015

@ Bunty



Yes, your point is well made and well taken.



But, in that case, like a couple I had mentioned about, earlier, the divorced parents can stay within three kms from each other so the children do not feel TOO HUGE a GAP in their MIND about the FATHER-MOTHER reality of life.


So that way, children remain mentally healthy too with minimum risk of imbalance.



If two people get married, they should have the maturity to take wise decisions too.

Ravi (a)     25 September 2015

if you are saying that parents (willing to get divorced) not to divorce for the sake of children, it's not right in my view. it's better the child grows up without seeing anything than seeing everything when her mom and dad fight. If they dont divorce and stay together like troubled husband and wife, it's a risk not only to their lives but also to child's health & life. child will learning everything and repeat for his wife or her husband when he or she gets married.

look at my example:

1. after marriage, my wife stayed away for about 2 weeks.

2. she slept from the 3rd week

3. after pregnancy confirmation, she stopped to come near me.


her intention is to make babies and that's her cruel intention. post this she tortured me like hell.

how can you expect me take my wife back and stay with the little one? She tortured me when she was alone and how much she will do when she stays with me along with the little one.

NATARAJAN IYER (Proprietor)     25 September 2015

@ Ravi I have answered Bunty above and that answer answers your query too. But your case is a bit complicated. If a wife refuses to co-habit, what to say ? If she remains silent and continues to do this and elders too remain quiet and no effect at all upon your wife that is nothing but stubborn behaviour. My piece was towards ensuring healthy upbringing of children. But if divorce is the only option, then atleast staying near to each other is preferred since child remains mentally healthy.

Born Fighter (xxx)     25 September 2015

In case of contested divorces which turn nasty and couples go all over humiliating each other to prove their point OR take revenge OR extract/ avoid paying money.............it is very difficult to expect the couples seperating before/after divorce to tolerate each other by staying at closer locations for the noble purpose of being close to the child.


Where there is a child involved and in contested divorce cases, i have not come across a single case where the couples behave responsibly towards the benefit / development of the child. The only agenda of the wife who has the custody of the child (in majority of cases) is to ensure the child does not go close to the father or develop a good relation with the father. This is done with the sole purpose that the father will cough up more money to the wife as maintenance if he wants to enjoy being a father. In such cases there is extreme behavior patterns where couples do not believe in having a dialogue. The wife looks north, the husbands looks south. There is no question of mediation, you cant expect such a couple OR any one partner who behaves irrationally/ unethically to think about the safety/ development and decent moral upbringing of the child, sadly !


In MCD there is possiblilty of couples working out a mid way for the benefit of the child. All said and done the child is left at the mercy of the estranged couples, and has no individual say. While one or both partners would want to remarry after divorce, what would happen to the child is again left to hands of destiny / fate.

Its a very very complex subject !!!!!

Natarajan, your thoughts are noble and i only wish parents take your post seriously and dwell into their own divorce cases to predict where they are taking their childs future to......






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