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Karthikeyan.S (Software Engineer)     22 May 2013

Harassment, blackmails and threatening by wife

Hi

I have been married for just about an year now. My wife was divorced with a child when i married her and had known her for 3 years before i got married. After marriage things went out of hand. I always thought she was a good person but in turned out to be a wrong consumption. We had married without the consent of my parents. And now when i see it i feel it was just a trick by her to get me into a marriage.

She started asking for money beyond my capability. I have zero saving because of her. She even threatens to suicide and kill herself. She even cuts her wrist and breaks things in and around her. She always suspects i am with another woman. She calls my lady colleagues at my office suspecting them and it causes huge embarrassement for me at my work.

I have already spent lakhs on her and no amount of money i give is ever enough for her. I have personal loans and credit card debts to pay but i am lagging as all the money i have is being used up by her.

She threatens me that she will shout in the middle of the road, outside my office and everything.

At first i used to manage but now that my money has dried up and I have huge debts outside i am not able to send her enough money. she is taking the blackmails and harassment to another level. 

I have a one year old child with her and i am very worried about the child now. She drops and breaks things around the kid and i am seriously worried something worse might happen.

I also found out she is not even divorced yet from the first husband and the case is still going on in court.

She even called a police guy she knows and they all teamed up on me saying i was the wrong one and that i should give more money to her.

I am almost helpless now. I owe money to so many people who have helped me through the last year. I have debts that have gone out of hand. All this money has only been give to her. Day by day i am getting a helpless feeling. There are days where i dont even have a single rupee left to have a one time meal. 

Can a legal solution help me out here? Thanks in advance for any help and views.



Learning

 12 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     22 May 2013

 

Originally posted by: Karthikeyan.S

xxxxxx

xxxxxx


I have a one year old child with her and i am very worried about the child now. She drops and breaks things around the kid and i am seriously worried something worse might happen.

I also found out she is not even divorced yet from the first husband and the case is still going on in court.

 

 xxxxxx

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

@ Karthikeyan.S,

 

If your wife is not even divorced yet from her first husband as you say that the case is still going on in court then, your marriage with her itself is null and void.

2 solutions for you:

1] Go for annulment on the ground of your wife being already married and that the fact was concealed from you.

2] If you want to save your marriage then, let her obtain divorce from her first husband, and then remarry with her legally and seek the help of a marriage councellor/ psychologist to do some councelling to your wife and bring harmony in your relationship.

.

1 Like

Karthikeyan.S (Software Engineer)     22 May 2013

Thank you Archana for your legal view. I would prefer annulment as i see no positive future with her and i feel all this was just a trap and i fell into it. Do you have any advice on how do i get my child away from her on legal grounds.

(Guest)

Record conversations, record her actions on VDO, start collecting proof of her abnormal behavior.


She spending off your money does not help you in getting divorce.


But those recordings will definitely will help you get one.


In the meantime, take her to a counsellor, try and get to know her intentions behind her actions, keep all such prescripttions as a proof of her medical history.

Then file for divorce based on mental cruelty.


On a personal note:  As this is her second marriage that too with a kid, her past experiences do count, certain things people cannot get over inspite of medical help too, so there might be something more to what meets the eyes, for you it might look like she is a nut, but why she is behaving as one, is for you to find out.  Remember, you already knew about her marital status and you got married without getting consent and blessing of your elders, when that is the case, try to handle your wife in a much more sensible way.  As getting divorce is not a easy task.  And I assume you too were a divorcee.  Take things lightly, start having a open approach towards marital life, find out reasons of her actions, talk it out, find a amicable way.  Am sure you will find a solution to the problem

1 Like

Karthikeyan.S (Software Engineer)     22 May 2013

Hi Helpinghand Thanks for your views. She has been lying to everyone around her that i have never given her any money, which is absolutely false. I have cash deposit slips of money being deposited into her account, and sheven took my debit card and keeps.it with her only. I am not a divorcee.This is my first marriage and as i said above, i feel all this was a trap and i fell into it blindly. I trusted everything she said and i acceptd it blindly. I have learnt my lesson but i feel i am a bit too late.

Karthikeyan.S (Software Engineer)     22 May 2013

I did have an.open mind when i started my relation with her. She used to tell her first husband was a cheater and things and she was glad she is divorced. I believed everything she said and fell in love with her. Now its nothing, evrrytime we have a conversation its about she needing more mone. I am being threatened by her saying she qiwill come.to office and shout infront of all, causing me.huge embarassement and i mighteven lose my job. Things have gone way beyond normalnow.

(Guest)

as she has not taken divorce yet.


Find whom she was married to.


File annulment.

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     22 May 2013

@ Karthikeyan.S,

When you file for annulment, simultaneously file for seeking custody of the child also. Considering the age of the child ordinarily the custody has to be with the mother only. But as you say that she drops and breaks things around the kid and have said about her violent behaviour which is a serious issue as it endangers the child's safty. If you can prove that it is dangerous for the child to remain in her custody with all the evidence then, you do have a chance to get it, though it will be a tough fight for you to get the custody of a one year old child.

1 Like

Karthikeyan.S (Software Engineer)     22 May 2013

@Helpinghand Will do thank you. @Archana Thank you, will try to get evidence of her rude and cruel behaviour. She still has traces of the cuts she made on her wrists , i hope it helps too. Again thank you. If anyone else have any opinions kindly let me know.

(Guest)

You will win the case easily...Get hold of documents showing the ongoing divorce proceedings...Your marriage is null and void anyway...As Archana madam says, not sure you`ll get custody of 1 year old child


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Karthikeyan.S
@Helpinghand

Will do thank you.

@Archana

Thank you, will try to get evidence of her rude and cruel behaviour. She still has traces of the cuts she made on her wrists , i hope it helps too. Again thank you.

If anyone else have any opinions kindly let me know.

Hit the thumbsup button to thank.



Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     23 May 2013

1. It is very great that without the consent of yourparents you got married a divorced women who is having a kid

2. You know the women past three years before her marriage and you married her and after 1 year you both blessed with a kid meand two (maintenance + alimony)

3. Throwing things on you and kid is near by 

4. First meet your wife first husband i think he is your friend and conult what went wrong in there life and about the case at what stage (this step you should have done before your marriage)

5. Consult a psychology discuss with him the points you got from your wife first husband and with you about your wife and what steps to be taken to overide them.  

6. Apply those steps and see the change 

7. After that if there is no change then you take her to the Psychology doctor and show her to him if the result is same then think about annulment or any other step.


(Guest)

Dont ever marry a divorced woman, she was a divorcee for a reason.


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