From a Member- I Walk Alone

Yella OK.  Cool drink yaake? :-))

 

@Nice read

Nice One.... Welcome I Walk Alone to Lawyersclub...

Nice effort by the author

@ Mr. Natarajan, I have read somewhere "if your marrige is good, you'll become lucky & if its bad, you'll become wise".

For me, I'm getting the thuoghts of wisdom, & to mention, I'm not at all an experienced person. My marriage experience lasted for 6 Months & now its going to be a year of fighting a false case with "IMPOTENCE" stigma & living a half-married life.

Whatever I write here in this website reading others problems or posts, are just my point of view to live a peaceful life. I have been believer of the thought process "Eye for an eye, leaves the world blind". Hence, solution must come from a social discussion but without humialiating the other partner of yours. Its not only responsilibity of a man to hold his wife's reputation. when the husband is asked nasty questions in a court (an open forum) to bring the details of his bedroom activity, the wife must also understand that her repuatation is also going down.

I'm here to only to share my views on these family matters & nothing else. I'm neither a lawyer nor a "Super-Gyanni" person to suggest couples how to live their life. Its their life and I have no-right to interfere on their living/lifestyle or even decision making process. But what I want is, them to understand that Family matters must be inside a family only (a closed door) & the family court judge must also understand this (I hope most of them understand), yet, I find them sometimes being biased/one-sided.

Here, in this post, I would like to thank you all for giving me the encouragement to step forward and your words are well enough to make myself understand that my thinking process is not in wrong way. I never wanted my marriage to break down & I will never like to see it happens for others also.

Just give it a thought, when parents raise a girl child, do they think that, after marriage, due to any mis-understandings with her husband, they would extort money by means of filing DVs/498A, No right? Then what happened in between? that all of a sudden situation changes??

I can bet on anything, ask any young girl on road, ask, if she wants to work after marriage? or she wants to be self dependent after marriage, 95% of the girl's answer will be "yes" then what happens after that?? why does she shows in the court(during divorce case) that she is unemployeed? & need money from her husband to live a life? all the self-respect, digity gone??
Before marriage, in her parental home, when she does any household work, it looks like their regular routine work, but, once she is married, if she is even asked to wash a single plate, it becomes domestic violence?? which world are we living it? We are talking about gender equality rights here & there,  and our law system is big time hypocrite, are the legal system encouraging gender equality?

Well, i'm sure the answer is "NO"...!! and I'm also sure it will remain so for next few decades (& even more).

Ask the person who famed these laws? 99% of them are not alive may be, but dont we need to have change in place for each of this law so that mis-using could be stopped. SC accpeted this fact, but had it been implemented?? No!! then which world are we living??

I just want to say only one thing, any physical violence, should not be tolerated, but, when its only bcz of ego or mis-understandings, pls sit and discuss in a closed door with keeping the egos aside. Pls do not deal a divorce case like a property needs to be owned.

thats all...!

Marriages are never good or bad.It depends on the male and female to make it succesfull.When we buy vegetables or fruits we are very carefull in choosing good ones only.But when we come to the concept of marriage why do we choose a partner blidnly and then ruining our lives.Its a matter of understanding each other to make the marital life fruitful.Ego's and arrogance finally make the lives miserable,repenting the whole life.

Excellent note @ Sainathji.. Very nicely explained! Thank you for your views...! I shall keep the same in mind...& I hope if anyone else who is reading this maintain the same thing in mind too...!

"When we buy vegetables or fruits we are very carefull in choosing good ones only.But when we come to the concept of marriage why do we choose a partner blidnly and then ruining our lives"

excellent thoughts..!

Good thoughts.. Some of my views....

So I go to a fruit market. Apples look shining from outside(may be they applied wax), looks very colorful in the lights. The Shopkeeper says 200 Rs per Kg. I bargain and get it for Rs 175 per kg. 

When I come home and cut an apple to eat, the apple is rotten inside.

If I eat the apple thinking I paid money, then my health gets spoiled.

So I throw that apple into a dustbin.

If I don't remove the trash and throw it in the dumpyard, then my house will stink. 

In a marriage the Wax is (Some people act, hide facts, more expectations, EGO, greed for money and better life) thinking Money will solve all the problems in Life. 

In a 498a or DV case, the moment boys side offer Money, the case is resolved. 

Good read. Thanks for all your wisdom..

 

 

may be may mom & dad supports me, still I am feeling lonely, remembering my small daughter, Friends me too Walking Physically alone..

Great thoughts for saving family

Its true some women misuse law because of which even the genuine ones suffer.

What do a women do except asking money if her husband throws her alongwith ailing minor child out of home, forcibly possesses all her original certificates, all jewellary, everything which she has right on,..

Still she begs him to reconcile for child,s future, but he flatly refuses to get chids treatment n not even looks at his own child when she takes the child to court where he also comes

And that too, when she is not at fault, even husband knows, just ego that his parents n sister pressurising him for another marriage

What is available for her next.. no job, no hope

Hi Deep..! the scenario you have mentioned here, is the actual case for which the laws are made (498As, DVs, Alimony). My sympathy goes out for the woman who have faced such incident & I'm sure, Indian law is such strong to take such husband for a good long ride.

The question comes here is What is the % of such cases presently? I'm sure, it % number wont even cross single digit.

& where is no-job for woman, I'm sure 70% of the woman can take up job with some respectable field & after that obviously, the husband who is opting for divorce, shall have to pay maintainence for his child isnt it? So where is the mis-justice here? when a wife walks out of a matrimonial relationship, we call it as "My Choice" and when the same is done by husband, it becomes "Cruelty"?? Pls answer that....! I hope i have not hurt your sentiments...

Hi Amresh

Sir.. You're not alone in this route, there are many like you...! Yes, in your family, you're alone, but believe me sir, there are pleanty of cases & many sufferers in our society,  Pls dont feel depressed. Life takes us for a ride sometimes just to make us understand the concequences of our wrong choices of decisions. When you had enjoyed the good moments of your life, you must also understand, bad times are also the part of your life, and during this time, you must be strong enough to handle yourself not loosen up.

Yes I agree about your daughter, but for that too, you can take a legal help about custody & visitation rights and you and your lawer must have enough raw materials to defend your rights.... that you must ensure.

I'd just say, you're not alone sir...!

 "i walk alone" sir,  i hear people saying law is biased favouring, but m undergoing worst experience.. i m not hurt becoz of any of ur statements, but just the solutionless situations around me, and regarding job,respectable,,, no certificates, duplicates costing high, cannot afford, although hoghly qualified, by some reference even without certificates, got a job last year, but my FIL n husband filed Rti in offive asking whether i hv submitted requisite certificates for this post, for this action of theirs, i lost my job.

Husband resigned from job to avoid maintenance

Court ordered maintenance which is pending for 2 years, husband not given penny for me or kid

He neither keeps us nor maintains us

Law is doing its course but wat if my husband spoils us

I just want to say here is that women are not always wrong. But in this forum, i have felt so insulted sometimes just becoz being a girl here means AT FAULT

No doubt, many experts have been so helpful that their adbise helps to pursue my cased as i cant afford advocate..

Hi Deep, sorry to hear about this. U know, every problem has a solution, the only thing important is how far ur willing to go to have the solution. 1. If u cant afford an advocate fight the case by urself. I assume ur certificates are taken away by ur in laws, in that case, u can just claim it thru police station if that doesn't work then u have to get the duplicate copies from respective college/university where you have studied. I'm sure the charges are nominal and worth each penny. That's ur education for God's Sake and u must have to protect it and no law in this world can stop u to have it. 2. I've heard about cases where even if the husband has quit the job to avoid maintenance in spite of having good qualification, court has asked the husband to take up a job and get the amount paid to wife and kids, so u still have a chance. Only thing is u need to pursue it. U can not leave it as it is. At least not for urself for ur kid. 3. If u can not afford a advocate, inform the court and fight the case by urself the court will grant u relief and also the legal aid. 4. Do u know ur husband can get imprisoned for not paying the maintenance? But again u have to chase it, court won't loose anything if the money is not paid but u will surely so it must be ur chase then courts. See cases like urs, should be treated with very seriously. But having said that I'd still stick to law biasness of indian judiciary system and ask a man who had suffered or are suffering. Pls do not loose hope there's still a way and the line is thick enough to get you what u actually deserve. I'm not a anti-feminist having my most loving mother and sister at home, I respect woman and their decision making capacity but equally what my wife had done to my life I cant forget that too. And after coming in this website, I found its a natural phenomena of the Indian woman and the lawyers to pull money....! And that's what im against. I'm not against the law but I'm more concerned about the guys like me who had been abused so badly and still living life of a slave... We are equal, right?