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RJ (none)     24 July 2014

Fake gold for marriage. will it lead to any trouble later ?

My daughters marriage is coming up. I pledged against dowry. I have a son and a daughter. Both will inherit whatever left over after both parents pass away. That is my decision.

The boy runs a business. During marriage discussions I never brought up the subject of dowry. They also were silent, but now marriage date is approaching, the future mother-in-law had shown their daughters wedding photos, and talked about the particular jewelry shop which she likes. I am not planning to give my daughter any jewelry. But if I tell them now they can break the engagement off.

My wife is saying, our daughter will feel bad, if she had no jewls and regret not looking good in photos. My daughter said, she will happily wear some fake gold ornaments. Photos will still look good.

Iam sure that once the jewelry reaches her husband's place in will be kept under the parents control, but I am equally worried that my future son-in-law might use it for a bank loan and the trouble will start. Will my dauhgter or I will face any legal issues if give my daughter fake gold jewelry ?


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 36 Replies

gautam (not disclosed)     24 July 2014

As per me, don't try to start a new relationship on a false note.

It is a nice thing, that you are against dowry, but that alone is not enough, you should look for a family and bridgegroom, who are also against dowry.  If you ideology is so strong, why do you need jewellery to be displayed in the marriage?  Stop being a hypocrite.

Social customs in India expects bride to have minimal jewellery for her marriage.  Relationship will start on a bad note if you engage in any hanky panky activities.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     24 July 2014

1. Both ‘giving’ and ‘taking’ dowry is Crime as per Dowry Prohibition Act. 


2. Cancel the marriage and stick to your ideology. Children follow parents ideology and so does wife, otherwise such ideology are similar to ‘fake gold’ that is mentioned in the brief. We already have so many ‘fake cases of dowry’ as of today in society to deal with as in at various Courts, donot give us one more reason to say how ‘dowry’ cases are made by fathers / mothers of a bride, just to please his wife / daughter current sentiments. 


3. If you cannot cancel the marriage then make a Will as per Law and give copy to daughter / in - laws that itself shows your intent of fair treatment to your both children and resolve of ‘dowry less’ marriages for children come what may come. Pass on an example to your adult children of your ideology who are on verge of their respective marriage instead of adding the 'fake' fact as some statistics in some police station. 


4.
Still if you cannot cancel the marriage after reviewing the reply then whatever you give for your daughter's marriage give as ORIGINAL and not FAKE and make a List of Items of giving / taking with witness signature from both sides as per Rules of Dowry Prohibition Act. That way neither your side nor in-laws can make a case out such 'giving' / 'taking'. 


5. BTW, after 'giving' what does your son-in-law does with it shall not be under 'your control' as then it becomes his 'family matters' which includes taking guardianship of your daughter who then is his legally wedded wife. 
 

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com)     24 July 2014

nothing left to add

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     24 July 2014

No law required you to give dowry and that too in real gold. 

 

If you are not double standard then what prevents you to tell that the jwellery given is imitation (do not use workd fake for your daughter's jwellery).


(Guest)

Respected Tajobsindia sir,

 

Your last point is simply SUPER sir. 

 

No girl's parents nowadays really know this - daughter has gone to a different family and it is their family matter and we should not interfere.  Because of modern day technology, they keep calling/chatting with daughters every hour to get live updates from whats happening at their house let alone in major decisions.  Most of them dont understand that it is their life and they will solve their own issues and if we interfere, it will only worsen their relationship!

 

*******

 

5. BTW, after 'giving' what does your son-in-law does with it shall not be under 'your control' as then it becomes his 'family matters' which includes taking guardianship of your daughter who then is his legally wedded wife.

 

*********

RJ (none)     24 July 2014

I thank all the Lawyers for their input. Sudhir Sir, I will dutifully inform my son-in-law that jewelry is Imitation. Tajobs Sir, I found your answer very amusing, because you suggested cancelling marriage. I wil tell you, when my daughter put her profile, in matrimonial sites, she had indicated that there won't be any dowry involved in the marriage. We received no proposals for 2 years. Then she removed that sentence and started getting requests.

Our country had great morals long time ago. But now we see girls as a source of money and pleasure. It is pathetic. The problem is that if I yield to the dowry tradition, then my son will be a the loser financially, because I am forced give more to my daughter. Then he will have bitter feeling to me and his sister. Also that will force him to demand from his wife, then our family peace will be gone. It is all a chain reaction.

And "Sister" I don't know you are man or woman or eunuch, but your ideology belongs 20 years and beyond. India, now is very westernized. A good example is the Bars and Cars. And you have no legal expertise to offer.

gautam (not disclosed)     24 July 2014


Do you know the origin of dowry tradition?  traditionally, girls were not having right to father's wealth post marriage, her share was given in form of dowry during her marriage. why? because land were the main asset of the family and if the land is divided and given to the girl, the groom's side wont come to till the land as they might be from different place, so to keep land in the family, girls share was given in form of dowry.

Slowly, law empowered the girls to have legal share in father's property, but dowry system has not vanished.

There are many indian families where still this tradition is followed, they spent on daughters marriage and socially the daughters don't ask for share in property after death of the father.


(Guest)

My reply was to Mr. Tajobsindia. 

 

That was my opinion and even it is old ideology, it WORKS!  I live in west and you know what, in west nobody will involve in a family matter(husband/wife relationship) unless otherwise asked for advice.  They are more independent from younger age and no arranged marriage! 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     25 July 2014

As member of the Bar after reading your replies it amuses me more.


I quote you  "I wil tell you, when my daughter put her profile, in matrimonial sites, she had indicated that there won't be any dowry involved in the marriage. We received no proposals for 2 years. Then she removed that sentence and started getting requests."


And now I quote your assurance to Sudhir, "Sudhir Sir, I will dutifully inform my son-in-law that jewelry is imitation."


Do you think son-in-law and/or his family going to take your daughter for marriage by such information against backdrop of what you tell me in your first brief and I quote you once again "the future mother-in-law had shown their daughters wedding photos, and talked about the particular jewelry shop which she likes" ?


You are creating fertile grounds for future DV Act Complaint + S. 498a if 'either' they cancel marriage on 'wedding day' OR if they send back your daughter from matrimonial home just after marriage!. It is then obvious you will run to advocate and via your daughter are going to file these Criminal Law cases when your thinking is and one last time I quote you " I am sure that once the jewelry reaches her husband's place in will be kept under the parents control, but I am equally worried that my future son-in-law might use it for a bank loan and the trouble will start".


What your main issue probably is, that, 'you have not much finances to marry off your daughter and you donot want to partition assets that currently you have for your children least due to some orthodox current fears", thus you are thinking so deep on all future un-invited issues in present which can all be avoided' by following below two acts;


1.
Make a Will today and give equal inheritance share to both children and make them known of the contents of the Will.

2. Tell daughter to wait some more time and search for a boy / family who believes in dowry less marriage. There are many and it is not that all marriages happen only with dowry. if you say yes it is so then I will allege even you took dowry when you were married !


By giving imitation jewelery even after informing you are creating grounds for future 'doubts' in minds of boy / his family so avoid trapping yourself into such 'mischief'. This boy may agree but his mother who is talking about jeweley shop will see though your 'mischief' and then force boy to disown your daughter on some or the other pretext or may even torture her which you have not thought of in your entire replies which is what amuses me more; got it !


 
[Last reply]

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     25 July 2014

There are people who conduct dowryless marriage.

There are people who give jwellery to daugher or daughter in law within their capacity.

 

but none is so cynical.

 

agreed to gret extent with Mr Tajobsindia

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     25 July 2014

the query is very interesting and very good response from the forum 

1. one thing i want to high light first you be clear what you want to do so that accordingly you can plan because if you want to give dowry give or no dowry stick with that word and proceed and do not make your daughter suffer after marriage because yet to be mother in law has shown you the way which leads to dowry and if you dis obey then be clear do not make your daughter enter this matimonial without clear picture \

2. what is your plan discuss with your daughter and her in laws and be clear so that your daughter should not face any hard ship in future 

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     25 July 2014

you have forgotten few things:-

 

  1. Merely if gold is given to daughter it is now dory.
  2. Merely if gold is given to daughter it does not mean it is going in custody of parents-in law.  SOme girls insist to keep with them.
  3. Gold given to bride is her streedhan and you want to deprive your wifeof the same.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     25 July 2014

You also cannot be told that what is the difference between :-

(i) dowry (as considertion for marriage) and customary gifts.

(ii) dowry/customary gifts  and streeshan.

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     25 July 2014

 You also appear to be far from worldly reality that :-

 

1.   Today your daughter is happy with imitation jewellery because she may be immature and tomorrow she will understand the deprivation and will curse you most.

 

2.    There is no connection between daughter’s share in property and the dowry in her marriage.  Even if you pay dowry to her through last straw still she may demand share of property and even if you hold court marriage or temple marriage she may not claim anything from her brother.

 

3.     Even if you are giving imitation jewellery you cannot convince her in-laws also to give imitation jewellery only.

 

4.    When you marry your son you cannot convince his in-laws to give imitation jewellery only and if you take imitation jewellery and they bring proper one then you will be nicely humiliated by your daughter-in-law for prolonged period.

 

5.    If you give imitation jewellery to daughter and real jewellery to daughter-in-law so you reap the discord between brother and sister for whole of their life.

 

 



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