Educate me

Always give any marriage a chance.There's no risk involved here.

You don't kinow about your spouse, whether serious or laying trap. How can we give any advise in such matter.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

PLEASE GIVE DETAILS

Let me tell you something Marriage is all about trusting each other so don't worry about  any trap or harassment if you like him and really want to live with him then go for it.  Don't be mistaken that you are giving him any chances from where i see i think he is giving you second chance to build this destroyed married life. It is very rare that reconciliation could take place but you are the lucky one. Just ask this questions to yourself Even for the fact whatever went through between both of you your husband started talking with you. The question you are asking in LCI i am sure there won't be anyone to provide you with any answer on that. It's all about trusting each other if you trust him then speak with him and tell him how you feel about him ? Also unlike you your husband would have the similar feeling as you do. The first and foremost question or condition he will put in front of you would be future 498 (a) harassment or fake DV cases. Would you threaten him now for the fact that you know how the law is biased in india. If you think from his point of view then he is taking big risk then you are because there should be a reason why your marriage went through hard time. There must be some hiccups between both of you but if both of you end up arguing with each other and blame each other rather then reconciliation then i bet you there won't be any solution. Based on your story i presume that your husband is abroad and i am sure you might have filed cases against him and based on my assumption if he is putting a condition to withdraw cases then you should do so there is nothing wrong in it as long as your marriage is saved.  You definately don't want to see the dark side of the story because in our society once the women goes court cases & marital issues it's even harder for them to get remarried so my suggestion to you is if you feel that you want to save your marriage then try to speak with your husband and ask him what does he think about you ? If there is any conditionthen you shoudl agree with his thoughts and do what he says ? No one can help you in this matter not even a lawyer or court.  If your family is interfering in your matter then they need to stop bothering your personal life because if they keep on choking your hubby or if they try to wash your mind there won't be any reconciliation.

You want to join him but at your condition. It's not possible you need to stop keeping your ego and just move on if this continues then he might get stubborn and let you go forever. Don't think that this discussion is going to continue for longer duration if you are in impression that after speaking with him once or twice he will come to you and do whatever you say it's not going to happen especially if he is abroad. It's all up to you and you will have understand him and give up your stubborn behaviour.

Must be given a chance for reunion.

If a person who apprehends about a trap, cannot be trapped.  So, be confident.

How can a wild persons who move into each other's company lay a trap on each other?

life is about faith... every situation has a negative and positive side and people move towards faith positively... marriage itself is a costly mistake with a misunderstanding which does not cost at all... let better sense prevail... if it is financial friction just think you are going to die tomorrow and what shall you do with your assets... whether you live or die, its going to go to your spouse... why not share and enjoy life until you die... there are several rich families broken and living alone just for the shag of finances... after they die, the assets are encroached by litigants and everyone... children grow up like b*st*rds and be a liability for the society...  if you dont care, your spouse will be cared by someone else... do we need all this? a quick result of a simple misunderstanding and care...

Well said srinivas i think Author of this forum should really give up arguing. It rarely happens that after all legal issues there is some sort of talk between two partner. Sometimes when we really stick to something which is not even required and then we regret it for entire life. Author should understand that besides two life partners there are always good & bad advisors humming around them. People really like to get into someon's business just imagine if somone around her husband would brain wash his mind and then he gets stubborn too .....i would say just let it go and start living happily again with him as soon as you can !!!

It takes a lot to win's someone's trust especially when it comes to trust a life partner. What a funny title this forum has "Educate Me". Are we in school here ? and why not spend this precious time talking with your partner rather then doing this useless research on internet. This trust has been destroyed to an extent that each every point her hubby is talking with her she thinks that it's a trap. Although we don't have detailed info what are her hubby thoughts ? but i am sure he must be thinking the same way as she does

Are you both working.

Your marriage was love or arrange marriage.

It it was an arrange marriage keep your ( both sides) parents in touch so that if any minor issue come in between you both then your elders can take care.

Dear sir,

Thank you very much for your valuable suggestion.After all these replies,I had tried to convice my husband,who is not ready to cme back to India.He jst wants to disscuss the matter over phone.Generate trust over phone.

I just dont understand how is it possible to disscuss the matter on phone,&  resolve the matter.

I am attending all the court dates & he is unavailable everytime,& no one even bother to call him backk.Judge thinks everything is working between both of us,but I fee,l these  r just  the tactics to prolong the matter,as my maintenance is on process..& also my husband with get foreign nationality in march 2012.So may be he is just pretending to be good by filing an affidavit in the court for reconcilliation..

what do you think sir,plz  guide as I cannot sustain now..

If you are expecting him to come india and attend those proceedings it ain't gonna happen. I see you are still thinking that once he gets citizenship u won't be able to trap him ? I think you should just give divorce to that gentlemen and move on because you are very stubborn and repeating same things over and over. As i said earlier if he wants to resolve the issue on phone then do it what is wrong in talking on phone ? Atleast he is talking with u may be after few days he will get tired and then he will never call u. This is just my suggestion if u want to fight cases then keep attending court dates because it's never ending.