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needhelp (respondent)     17 November 2011

Don't want to divorce


We got married in '98 in India, there are minor ups/dwns as usual in married life. We moved to US and got citizenships and two kids(girl and a boy) who are elementary school age now. My wife is controlled by her parents a lot, they want to control our money which gave me a lot of trouble and difficult times in our marriage. She stayed extended time with her parents each time she went to India. We are living separately for last 4 yrs, in US now.

 She filed for our kids custody in India. After repeated requests when we are in India they didn't show me my kids. All the property(acquired by us after marriage) in India already on her name. I voluntarily didn't take any dowry. I don't have her whereabouts in US but know that she is working and kids are with her. Case is postponing each month. I know that we can't attend hearings because both are here in US, she can attend one or two when she visits, same with me but can attend all if I stay longer period when the hearing are more frequent towards the end. I don't want to divorce and want my kids and wife with me, but don't want the wrong influence of her parents on her. I tried my best to avoid this but it didn't work. My lawyer filed for conjugal rights.

 Please advise me, how to aproach so not to get divorce, but together again as family and missing my kids a lot.

 If it is inevitable(after fighting until end), I respect legal system. I understand that I may not get any custodial rights, but more visitation. The problem is my kids are too young, haven't seen me from last four years and I don't know, what their mother told about me.

 Please throw some light on what might going to happen in court in the next stages.


 6 Replies

**Victim** (job)     17 November 2011

Dude if you are in U.S. and having problem locating her then try doing reverse search online i am sure there is a way to locate her. Usually 411 in U.S. is very helpful they can do reverse search for you very easily.  All you need is your wife's full name your kids full name and everything will pop up in the system right away. You are in U.S. then why should you file cases in india and why not in U.S. ? Proceedings in U.S. could be costly but the results are fast one or two motion and case will be disposed easily. I suggest you approach your wife legally try to locate her first and then file your visitation rights as well as your wish to rejoin her. She haven't filed any maintenance or alimony against you in U.S. if she does then she has to prove that why she doen't want to live with you ? I suggest you hire a attorney locally and file case against her.

1 Like

Arvind Sehdev (Advocate)     17 November 2011

Nicely answered... nothing needs to be added i suppose....

V R SHROFF (Sr. ADVOCATE Bombay High Court Mob: 9892432152)     17 November 2011


Follow what **victim** answered u.  to locate her.

u don't want to divorce and want ur kids and wife with u. Very good thinking.

In any case, ur wife had not filed divorce petition , so no question of ur divorce.

ur adv already filed pet for congugal rights. Thats exactly what u can do in ur case , and is already done. u r on right track. 

u can't be denied visiting rights to ur kids.  so go to US court & get it, enforce  every week visits. 

Try re- councilling there to  solve ur misunderstanding, Appraoch ur common friends and relatives also to locate her & settle mtr. .

I understand there is no matrimonial  offences, or extra marital  relationships, so re-union is possible and desirable.

sacrify something (property) to gain what u want (ur family & peaceful life) & hope for the best , & in few yrs all will get settled. God Bless u. Adv Shroff  Bombay HC 17-11-11


S.Manoharan (MANAGER)     17 November 2011

I am facing same problem.She hot filed divource yet.  I have fild my rights and child still pending.


Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/     17 November 2011

follow the above opinion

needhelp (respondent)     17 November 2011

Thank you All, for your suggestions. I will follow them and try my best.


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