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RRR (Sr. Manager)     05 February 2013

Divorce in india from an aggressive wife

 

I have been married for the last 3 years thru one of the online matrimony portals.. and have been living an extremely stressful life for the past 1.5 years. My wife is extremely dominating and threatens me for putting false allegations on me when we have any argument. She says that the law in India is extremely favoring ladies and she can destroy me whenever she wants.  There was an instance about 6 months back when she even called the police after an argument over Television! And started speaking out stuff such as dowry, domestic violence etc etc with the police. I am alone in my family (don’t have parents) and am living under extreme stress for a long time.. she has even threatened me to get her family to beat me up on some occasions.  In the house, there are maids etc for everything, so she does not even move a foot for any household stuff.

In some recent instances, she has become extremely aggressive where she abuses me and even gets physical some time.. She is confident that if I even touch her she will call the police and make a case of domestic violence. Also, she says that she will never leave this house if I apply for divorce as it is her right and will destroy me.

I don’t want to continue to live like this and need legal help.. Can I not do anything in the Indian law to protect me? How do I get separated from her? Can I file for a divorce and live separately? I am under IMMENSE stress and mental agony.. Can you pls help me and guide me in taking the right direction..



Learning

 17 Replies


(Guest)
Do one thing. Visit nearest police station and tell them about your story. Seek their help first about her behaviour. Get someone from your close relative...only elderly lady to stay with both of you. Talk to neighbours and win their confidence. Make the police engage her in counselling. Make a move and dont do anything more than this do not approach the courts instantly. Why dont you consider going on some official tour for 2-3 months and leave her at her mother's place. May be she needs some time to cool off her temper.

stanley (Freedom)     05 February 2013

@ author 

your wife seems to be over confident that the law is on her side .

Take for instance she files 498 A or DV so how would she prove her false allegations and how would she prove it at evidence stage and court cases take years . She would get fed up running around courts and wasting her time as well as her money in terms of lawyers fees  . Start gathering evidences or recording  of her abnormal aggressive activity .Now days courts too are aware of the no of false cases being filed . Let her go and file the file false cases and than put forth your evidence and see what happens :-). 

If your wife is a working women she wont even get maintanence nor shelter  . And in case she isnt working and she seeks shelter you can take a rented place and give it to her :-) . She does not even have a right to your property if it is in your name . So Stay cool :-).

I dont understand why do you fear as the truth will provide justice to you .  

 

3 Like

RRR (Sr. Manager)     05 February 2013

Thanks for your response Charu..

I dont have anyone elderly to live with me.. I had approached the police once and they said that ladies have all the rights and powers in India.. and that I will be in trouble if any allegation is made against me.. She talks to her mother everyday for hours and visits her often. It is her confidence of misusing the rights that are given to India women is something that is creating the problem here.. I am really feeling helpless.. and in so much of mental stress. I really want to get seprated from her.. have lost all trust and love for her and dont want to continue to live in mental agony... 

Like sane people, I understand that if two people dont live happily and in peace then they should just be part.. without destroying the other one.. But I guess a lot of people dont think this way... Pls help..


(Guest)
Ok.. if you think her mother is her strength...then your lady should understand that her mother will hardly be there with her for couple of years more. What will she do..after that? Stanley has adviced correctly. Enroll yourself in SIF also and take all precautionery measures. Even you are a citizen of india. You also have rights buddy. Dont get afraid. If she wants money to get seperated from you then give it and get rid of her. If not then prepare yourself mentally to fight the cases. She will never get anything out of 498a and DVC other than divorce and frustration. Never get scared of such things. Just smile and say do whatever you want. When she understands that you are hard skinned and will not move an inch. She will give up.
2 Like

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     05 February 2013

@RRR,

record all her conversation clamly with video recoding with time stamp in it and preserve, collect tangible evidences before you go to police station or lawyer next time , and verify the validity of evidences with some experts like shonee/tajobs/bharath in the forum, then screw her for threatening with criminal complaint. dont show mercy on these type of woman.

She just wants you to be her slave man.

1 Like

RRR (Sr. Manager)     05 February 2013

@ Mani, Charu and Stanley.. Thanks all for your suggestions.. Is there anyway i can get separated from her? I mean, if I file for a divorce and she appeals to stay with me, do I have a choice to live seprately? she is currently working with a decent package (more than 30k a mnth).. Not sure abt the maintanance amount that she can get from me as per the law?

@ Charu - you have suggested me to enrol with SIF.. sorry can you pls explain what is SIF?

I read another case in this forum where a husband is having to continue to stay with the wife inspite of filing for a divorce and states that he is in immense mental stress due to this..

Nandha (NIL)     05 February 2013

@ RRR 

 

SIFF means Save Indian Family Foundation which fights for men's rights. You can contact some SIFF members in your locality and they may advise you on your queries.

 

When a husband is not willing to live with his wife, court cannot compel him. So, don't worry. But, you have to face all the false cases your wife will file against you like DV/498a. If you have not taken any dowry then you will come out clean at the end. But you have to face police, courts, trials and lose your money and precious age.

 

 

 


(Guest)

 

Hi RR,

You are in a similar situation like me. I was in similar situation 10 months back and eventually my lovely estranged wife filed false 498a on me. Not even a single penny was spent on marriage, it was a very simple marriage. Only money spent on food. We married with girl in 3 clothes......Still 498a and above all 406 too on me. I dont know how come police can put 406. Really amazing Indian laws. 

I would advice you to start recording all conversation, get urself out of that home, go to any official tour like Charu said.....
And i am pretty sure, u will be 1 of new victim of false 498a......May god help u !!!

Biased Indian laws have ruined my life. I lost my father in all this bloddy sh*t. He died of a sudden cardiac arrest.

 

BR, Mani

stanley (Freedom)     06 February 2013

Originally posted by : RRR

@ Mani, Charu and Stanley.. Thanks all for your suggestions.. Is there anyway i can get separated from her? I mean, if I file for a divorce and she appeals to stay with me, do I have a choice to live seprately? she is currently working with a decent package (more than 30k a mnth).. Not sure abt the maintanance amount that she can get from me as per the law?

@ Charu - you have suggested me to enrol with SIF.. sorry can you pls explain what is SIF?

I read another case in this forum where a husband is having to continue to stay with the wife inspite of filing for a divorce and states that he is in immense mental stress due to this..

@ Author 

I do understand that this is the first time you are facing the law hence i under stand your fear . My request to you is go  through the old post in LCI and gradually your fear would disappear since now your knowledge would be updated with respect to law .

Now that you have opened up and stated that your wife earns 30 k than be assured that the judge would not be passing any maintanence for her provided that she acknowledges that she is employed and earning that amount else it is upto you to prove the same and sumbittig her salry slip or calling for it using CRPC 91 or summoning her employer .  

Now the next part you have not stated if you have any children . In case you have children than maintanence is co-extensive and the both of you would have to contribute for the children as she too is a working women . Come what may if you want visitation for your children it would be granted to you eventually and she can do nothing about it .

Now as you say you want to divorce that is your choice and hence you would have to file for divorce and contest the case as she is not ready for MCD . And as per Newtons third law of motion " For every action there is a equal and opposite reaction " Hence also be prepared for a false DV case as well as a 498 A case .  

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     06 February 2013

Yes, stanley is right.

@RRR, if you are hell bent not to have your wife, no laws can help for your wife to be in union. All Courts can do , is divorce and alimony for your wife. If you have evidence, by chnace if it goes for contested case, you have chance to defend your side for false cases, less manitenance, and some solace from judiciay.

Wither your fear, that is the first step to face music, I understand your worries, but thats where we all started and learnt to be patient and courageous to face PS, court, judges etc etc.

Get in touch through phone or PM to fellow forum members,

1 Like

RRR (Sr. Manager)     26 September 2013

My agony continues.. Being a man, I feel extremely helpless and tortured. I don’t have anywhere to go. I tried reaching out to police to file a ‘for your information’ note but they did not accept it.  In this country as we have laws/cells for women but no laws/cells for tortured men. I tried reaching out to Human rights commission for help but they said they dont take such cases... I don’t even know what can I do or what options do I have.

Can I speak with anyone who has undergone this or someone who can help in this? You can mail me personally on thinkbig0411@gmail.com

Pls help....

karthik (divorce applicant)     02 October 2013

why you are much worried about this, mostly she will file 498a and dv false cases that's it and tht's the end of your relation, be prepare for that, earlier i too was in such a situation by god grace saved my old parents and married sisters with anticipatory bail, so collect evidences and be ready for this situation and dont be scared of her, be brave 

tell her you are ready to face any  kind of legal issue, i think in 498.org you will get 498a survival guide go through and prepare yourself mentally, you said you dont have elderly persons in your family so you are bit lucky on this context you alone will face the case..

but if you really like her and want to live with her if she changes her mindset, explain her pros and cons of her legal rights as a woman in India and her life after she files false cases and separation from you, 

i guess it is just her mother who is doing all these things so dont hesitate or agree with her in all aspects be a man and dont get afraid of legal cases, if you have 498a in your fate then you definitely have to face no other way..  so live the way you want to live if she harass you physically then go ahead and proove that in police station about if this can't be proved, you have to get in to her shoe and behave the way she behaves tht's the only solution..

great india (manager)     02 October 2013

1.thats right...i was in same situ....
2. i filed divorce, she in vengence filed rcr , i took her to diff place far off for co hab she ran back....slammed me with DV .......and 125.....

3. i still agreed for co hab inspite of all cases from both sides.........saying financially drained but still ready to maintain on condition of her living with me at rental accomodation.....

4. she refused ....interim in 125 denied,....in my divorce 24hma i defended party in person she got 2k...thts ok wit me but she deserted , she filed rcr still not cohab.......judges make a note of all this.

5. they too thretened me with SAAM...DAAM....DAND...BHEEDH......but i was adamant on my stand.....and i am still......
6. it takes time smtimes.....but sm day they succumb......patience is the key......
7. give space and time.........things get sorted.......thats why matrimonial cases take time..........

1 Like

rajiv_lodha (zz)     03 October 2013

@ greatIndia

what is the current status of ur divorce case? u got it OR litigation still on?


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