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Anuja1981k (test)     26 August 2012

Divorce from huband after 7 yrs of marriage

I am married for 7 yrs and i have a 4 yr old daughter and 21 days old son. its difficult to pen down the story of last 7 yrs and the harassement and torture that I have been through at several occasions one of the main being child birth. During my first delivery my husband harassed me physically and mentally and i was forced to approach the police for help , i did not file a FIR and police just warned him and let us go, my parents took me to their place for a couple of months to help cool the matter. After 4 years since then , we again planned a child, i agreed hoping that this baby would help us live those moments which we lost during our first child and we would be able to give up the bitterness between us , however things turned the other way and this time after delivery he is more atrocious and is harassing me mentally and physically infront of my 4 yr old kid . When I tell him i would call the police if he continues, he is treathening me that i can go wheerever I want , but he would not change .  I am not sure what to do next..Divorce is a big thing in my family since we are from middle class family and I am the only daughter of my parents. But since all of us me and my parents are so helpless at his merciless hands that I dont see any other option to get rid of this constant torture. I am working and earning equally good as he does , so I am not interested in claiming any compensation from him...

Is there a way that i can move out of the house where we live now with my belongings and wait for him to file for a divorce ...if i dont do any paper work and move out , he might come and bother me in my parents place , i dont have anyone else other than my old parents who can help , so if I go there without legal paper work, my husband would for sure harass us and that would mean subjecting my 65yrs old father to lot of trauma due to this .

please advice what should i do to control the situation ..talking to him or taking him to a marriage counsellor are out of question since he is always roaring for no reason and he thinks he is perfect ...

with two kids i have no mental block  of not being able to handle life all by myself..but with a 21 days old kid it is very painful to look for options outside the marriage...the very reason of having the child is beaten...

please advice



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 9 Replies

Anish Thakur 7018812737 (advocate)     26 August 2012

respected querist,

initially you can file complaint under domestic voilence act .police will ensure your and kids safety .

Ranee....... (NA)     27 August 2012

get a protection order to ensure your right in husband's place..this will be best for you.Engage a efficient lawyer and you take care of yourself and your kids.

Adv.R.P.Chugh (Advocate/Legal Consultant (rpchughadvocatesupremecourt@hotmail.com))     27 August 2012

In such circumstances, if you have an alternative accomodation move out for a couple of days. If you don't, it is your right to live in that house with your kids, as advised above seek a protection order whereby the court would order your Husband from not indulging in Domestic Violence. You also have a right to seek maintenance for the upkeep of your children and yours.

 

 

 

Adv. Bharat Chugh

*Supreme Court of India

*Delhi High Court

*Distt. Courts in & around Delhi/NCR

dr.pawan rajyan (member and secretory)     27 August 2012

if husband is not ready for divorce file on the base of cruelity. police/court cannot  change a person's attitude.

JANAK RAJ VATSA (ADVOCATE)     27 August 2012

it is difficult to understand the predicament that you have got a son as well as daughter and you are earning, then what is that which is bothering the relationship which you have not mentioned. notwithstanding this, you should file a complaint in the police station under the dv act and seek protection and a separate residence for yourself. may be the separation initiate wisdom in him.

Vinu (executive)     28 August 2012

Hi Anuja,

It's pathetic to hear your story.  You have very good options in front of you...as the law really protects and helps women who faced such domestic violence. But even then...You need to fight hard to get justice. So, can hire a good advocate and proceed DV praying for protection orders. If you move out of your matrimonial house with frustration it will hit you back as " She decerted me..and went out". It should be proven clearly that you went out due to the harrasment by your husband.

I wish your remaining life to be happy with your 2 little kids. Good luck.

stanley (Freedom)     28 August 2012

Dear Anuja , 

You can file a complaint of domestic violence before the Magistrate and praying for a protection order . There are various relief in that like custody of the children under section 21 of the act , Maintanence for the kids etc . 

Through a protection order you can even restrain your husband from even entering your parents house if you have planned to reside over there . Once the protection order is passed and he still refrains from following it he would be sent to jail . 

Anuja1981k (test)     05 September 2012

Thanks to all for your reply.

I have moved to my parents place and he keeps calling me and bothering time and again that he wants to take the older child ie my daughter to meet with his parents . I have allowed that a couple of times and every time my daughter comes back she is trying to be rude to me and tell me that her father and grand parents love her more. I really dont know what is on his mind now. He has send me an email that he does not want me back and is asking me to take away all my belongings from that house asap, he does not love me anymore and wants to seperate off. And he threatened me that if I dont allow our daughter to go with him whenever he wants he would file case against me and my parents and put my father behind bars.

I am very reluctant to go to the police station to file a complaint because I know legal procedures are so complicated, with a 1 month old baby its very very difficult to get into all this. I dont have any male support other than my father who is very old to go through all this with me.

Filling a case against him would mean end to everything , i still had some hope that he might try and change his behaviour  once this baby comes but things are going from bad to worse with each day.

should I opt for some counselling ...i really dont know ...

 

stanley (Freedom)     05 September 2012

Yeah Counselling is the best option but he has to agree for the same .


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