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Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

Informed ex boyfriend's brother in law about his sexuality

I had same s*x relationship with another guy since September 2012.
After nearly 3 years he got married on mutual consent.I/we was/were still trying to maintain healthy relationship.
At the end of December 2017 he took decision to leave me which he didn't inform me and started avoiding me. For the next 3 months I was thinking that it's a mere misunderstanding and things will be fine and kept on texting him on Whatsapp, Facebook, text message etc., but he hardly responded and if responded then he used slangs and harsh words.
I then repeatedly asked him to meet me once and speak and settle in a proper manner which he ignored everytime and blocked me from Instagram, Facebook,WhatsApp.
Then I started communicating him through email and urged him to meet me again and again.He hardly responded again and if responded then again with harsh words and denial of meeting.
I warned him numerous times that if he does like this then I will be forced to contact his inlaws. But he never cared.So, more than a year got passed doing these.
Now, two days ago I finally texted his brother in law and gave some hint about things.

My questions are now,

1. What are the legal steps they can take in this scenario.[Whatever I wrote to his brother in law, was totally indirect and was nothing intended to mean him or I never mentioned his name.So if they misinterpret (actually rightly interpret)]?
2. Can I get arrested under the charges not harrasment?
3. Whatever I wrote to his brother in law was very general in nature. What will be my points if they take any legal steps?
4. I have only proofs of his message replies on email and only some text/Whatsapp, since I lost my earlier mobile 4 months ago. Can earlier WhatsApp messages and text messages be retrieved under Courts order?

I know this is a complicated issue and hope to get valuable advices.

 13 Replies

Vijay Raj Mahajan (Advocate)     18 February 2019

What all I can make out from your facts, you had relationship with a man since September, 2012 that continued even after he got married after 3 years and till December, 2017.

You still want the relationship to continue or want him to settle the discontinution of relationship with you properly and for this reason you even wrote to his brother in law for which you are now worried may back fire and put you in legal problem.

There seems to be no logic behind all this as after his marriage you continued the relationship well aware of his marital status. You want to settle with him, What? Are you looking for some financial settlement? If not than if he has stopped the relationship since December, 2017 more than one years now, there should not be any more formal settlement required. If you are looking for financial settlement, than come out in details what are those? Just because he's no more continuing relationship with you, you are looking financial compensation or you had provided him with financial help and look forward the return of that amount?

Writing any thing about a person to someone else may amount to act of defamation unless you are able to prove those charges levied upon that person, this may not be cognisable offence where police action will be required but still direct criminal or civil case can be filled against you by that person. The messages, emails and all other modes of comunication between both of you may help you out, no doubts about that, but that may spoil his marriage and even result in divorce, and do you think if that ever happens, he will come back to you, forget it.

Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

No financial settlement. It's the grudge. The way he left me without even intimating me.For 2 and a half months I was not aware of the fact. My life could have been different today if he had intimated about his decision immediately. Someone was waiting for me who moved on during that period as I did not accept his proposal. If I knew his decision I would have gone with that person. I only wanted a formal breakup, which I always told him during our relationship but he failed to do that. I think that's the minimum expectation. So it's the grudge that am bearing and revenge for all the emotional torture I beared for so many months. No financial thing involved here. When going into relationship was a mutual decision then breakup should also be mutual ,if not mutual then at least the other party should be informed. Yes, I have Facebook messages and email as evidence but text messages and WhatsApp messages are deleted due to various reasons like loss of mobile,not saving messages or taking screenshots etc. This was my final act that I did by informing indirectly to his inlaw. My revenge is over.

Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

And yes, we both continued the relationship after his marriage and not only me. I continued because I loved him and his marriage was somehow forceful, so how can I leave him in that situation instead of supporting him with true dedication.

Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

So according to you he can only file a criminal case against me for defamation and if it happens I will get notice from court to appear. Thank you very much Mr. Mahajan for your advice! Seek further help/advice if required in future. Thank you again for your time!
1 Like

Suhail suhail (LAWYER)     18 February 2019

Your are hurt more than scaredJust end the matter and lead your life peacefully .

Sincier advice just stop it now it has already spoiled your life. You can send an apology to his brother in law and mention the message was not intded for him Just get rid of it and think moving ahead, selfishness does not deserve any attention leave the hell of those thoughts and whatever

Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

I did it. Just wrote a message to his brother in law that by mistake I sent the message to him instead of another person of same name and it was not intended to him.

Suhail suhail (LAWYER)     18 February 2019

That is fine.just forget it.

Get busy with your normal life don't tense yourself for nothing. Even if he sends a legal notice that is very hard for him to prove.

Just trust mke forget about it ,just nothingb going to happen. 

Mend your life ,live properl.

Stay blessed

Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

Thank you so much! One more thing I didn't want is that his mother coming to my house regarding the issue. I live with my parents. Anyways, let's see and hope things don't get worse anymore. I will try my best to forget the grudge. After I apologised his brother in law adviced me to see a doctor and said he doesn't want to hear anything from me. Anyways, I will forget everything. Thank you so much again for valuable advices.

Suhail suhail (LAWYER)     18 February 2019

Just maintian your self respect and dignity, and if anyone tryiies to insult you or disrespect warn them of dier consequeinces.

But i request once again ; JUST FORGET ABOUT IT AS A VERY BAD DREAM.....





BE HAPPY.................LOVE YOUR GOD


Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

I will forget and also maintain my self respect and dignity.

Suhail suhail (LAWYER)     18 February 2019

That is really so nice to hear.

Though it takes time to get wonds healed but finally they heal up.

Just think if you had been deceived like this after ten or fifteen years how it would had been, thank your LORD

I pray for your peace and  wellness.

Saurav Ghosh (Student)     18 February 2019

Yes..true. And yes, I will only concentrate on my work and my God from now onwards. I took a very dangerous and drastic step I know. Thank you for praying for me! Om Sai Ram!!!!

Suhail suhail (LAWYER)     18 February 2019

Allah Hafiz

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