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anishamital (n/a)     06 December 2015

Case of domestic voilence

This is my second marriage. i got married in 23rd jan 2014 with a well educated person. My husband do not have mother and father. He has onesister who is married. at the time of fix up our relationship, they both told us that their mother father died and his sister said to us that time that they want a simple marriage with small gathering. my family was also ok with it.After marriage I got to know that his mother is alive and they have filled a case against their mother. as the time pass and marriage time was near his sister started demanded for Car and 8 lakh cash apart from marriage functions. My father said that he has only a budget of 17 lacs . he cannot spend more than that. His sister and brother-in law has a demanded a xylo car(8 LAC rS) from my Father . My father gave them a cash around 9 lacs.After the marriage me and my husband was living in his sister' home. Before marriage his sister told my father that after marriage she will keep us in her home for 15-20 days and after that me and my husband will shift to the rental home in noida. my father said ok. After the marriage she started demanded for more cash and she started annoying/taunting me while saying that your father did not do the marriage according to our status.My husband also started beat me for no reasons. After beat me , my husband always called my father to take me back from there.But i did not ready to go. After 4 months ,me and my husband shifted to rental home in noida. In there also, he did not stopped to beat me and abused me. Then i again started my working career in noida. I have done PGDM in HR.My Husband told me that i have to do incurred expenses for home as well FROM MY SALARY . My salary is jsut only Rs.15K.my sister in law and her husband with all three children came to our home on regular basis.Still i have done everything for all of them. Still her taunting habit was continued. My husband and my sister in law did not allowed my family to come in my home.Still I adjusted with my husband. Time passes, but my husband and my sister in law habit did not changed.My husband always abused me and beat me and my sister in law did not stopped my husband.I did not know what was in their mind. My husband always said to me ki tu bi mujhe chod ke chali jayegi. I said i will not leave you since this is our second marriage and  i cannot afford to break it. As time passes, their behaviour not changed. Then in the 3rd july  again my husband beat me very roughly and abused me. Not only abused me , even abused my father, mother and sister by saying that ki tumhare mother aur tu randhi h aur dhandewali ho. After beat me he called my father to take me back. That night i decided to go with my father.That time my condition was very bad,My clothes was torned, my cheeks was totally swelled and my right knee was injured. After a day my father talked to his sister. His sister told us that she can not meet right now as she is busy for a day. Both brother and sister did not want to talk to my father. Finally my father and me decided to talk to the lawyer. Our lawyer immediately asked us to do a MLC. We did the same and then filled a complaint to CAW Cell, Kamla Nagar. Now 5 months have been passed. My lawyer also filled a petitions against my husband.I just wanted to know that i do not want to live with my husband but I also do not want to give him the Divorce.  he beated me bacause he wanted a divorce.Can you please guide me what I can do now since i have filled a petition of Domestic Voilence and Dowry. Kindly guide me. Seeking your guidance in this matter.



 20 Replies

atul (ACB)     06 December 2015

Anishaji,

Your side of version is clear as far as matrimonial issue is concerned.

The actions done by your lawyer are vague and unsystematical, as per the narration.

Your objective is to keep away divorce but to bring husband under pressure that he starts behaving along with his sister.

The Domestic Violence Act 2005 is criminal case and dealt with in that court. similarly Sec 498 A IPC Dowry case is criminal case and dealt accordingly ; on the other hand Divorce is a civil matter and is dealt in civil court iwth slow speed. More so the cases are so interlinked that Divorce is extremely difficult till the time these two criminal cases are on however it requires a systematic approach at every stage. 

Your is sound case due to availability of certain facts in form of evidence and all I can foresee that your husband can be in real trouble if the cases are dealt with correctly.

anishamital (n/a)     06 December 2015

Sir, My objective was not to put him under pressure. My only concern is atleast he should realize that women have her own respect. A man have no right to beat his wife.It is not only wife responsibility to save marriage, it is also a responsibility of husband as well.Atlease he should stopped her sister for  putting such demands in front of my parents.

I think you misunderstand me.Anyways thanks for quick response.

My lawyer is experienced one. They did the things very systematically.My only concern is if I don't want to give him the divorce so is it possible or not.

Thanks..

 

 

 

 

saravanan s (legal advisor)     06 December 2015

You have the option of filing 498a which is criminal in nature apart from the DV you have filed against him.remember once when you file a criminal case against your husband that itself means that the relationship is over.these cases when filed along with divorce case doesn't affect the divorce case by any means but my advice to you is  to wait for your husband to file the divorce case as it would put the burden if proof on him

prabhakar advocate (advocate)     07 December 2015

Your priority might be not to give divorce to him and to make him understand that women are not expendable commodities and deserve to be respected.  But in your case, as an advocate my priority would be to get back the money which your father had given him (or his sister and brother-in-law) and collect evidence to prove that your father had given money and file dowry case against him (contrary to popular perception, that dowry givers cannot be prosecuted, hence you can simply say that they demanded dowry and you are forced to give it).  Along with it, you have to file domestic violence case and Section 498-A dowry harassment case against him and his sister.  At the time, they approach the court for getting bail either in dowry prohibition case or Section 498-A case, be ready with the documents of MLC as well as the documents showing your father had given the amount to  them to purchase the car.  Then, the judge will put fire under their feet till you get back your things back and either the car or the amount back to you.  Coming to the divorce issue, let them file divorce case and you contest them with all your vigour.

atul (ACB)     07 December 2015

Well,

Anishaji, Your attempt to make him realize on moral grounds is not possible through court procedure as this is resorted to create fear in minds.  Many people do deserve that too.

As far as feasibility of divorce is concerned, the criminal cases like DV and sec 498 A are are like double edged limited  weapons;use them once but after that the same can be used to smoothen out divorce which is followed by your husband. Most of the lawyers advise in stereo phonic manner to initiate sec 498 A and DV cases to pull rug from under neath the boy. 

My advice is that if you are not for divorce, you let him initiate divorce porceedings to make his case weak. However to protect yourself, you must file a detailed complaint against your husband in nearest Police station in simple form only to be brought on to record.

Divorce will become extremely difficult if you contest but without initiation of criminal proceedings. 

May you be brave to face odds,

Samir N (2HelpU) (Business)     07 December 2015

Assuming that your allegations are true, then there is absolutely no need for you to accept this abuse. However, that said, it is stupid to file a Domestic Violence case as it serves no meaningful purpose. I have always reiterated this position and invited the wrath of many by my advice.  Just analyze this practically: You must take a position- divorce or no divorce. I cannot imagine that you would like to stay with such a family if indeed your allegations are true. If they are not, then you are wasting the time of advocates and advisors in this forum. So, the obvious conclusion for an educated woman would be to seek divorce and recover losses (dowry, etc.).


You should just file a simple divorce case based upon cruelty and seek recovery of all the dowry that was given, provided you have proof of the same. Additionally, for physical violence, file appropriate criminal proceedings.


Filing a DV case is the na ghar ka naa ghaat kaa scenario.  It only enriches advocates and there is no final result in it.  Even if you get material relief in terms of maintenance or whatever, what purpose will it serve in the long-term? Your marriage is irretrievably broken. File divorce and restart your life again.  Are you going to accept abuse for the rest of your life simply because this is your second marriage? 


Conclusion: File a divorce petition and then withdraw the DV case with the absolute provision that you are doing so without any prejudice to your rights and leave to refile if required. Otherwise withdrawal will extinguish your rights asserted in the DV case. Then focus on one civil proceeding - The divorce proceeding and one criminal proceeding - whatever it is that you choose to file through the police. 

 

 

 

prabhakar advocate (advocate)     08 December 2015

You see madam, your father spent huge amount to meet the demands of your husband and/or his sister and presented him a car.   Later on in matrimonial life, you were put in undue harassment more particularly it was your second marriage.  I gave you advice that how to get back the money you spent for his car.  For that, I advised you to file a case under dowry prohibition Act and also Section 498-A dowry harassment case, because this is the only way to get back you money from those recalcitrant inhumans, because the judge insists at the time of granting them bail force them to pay back you the money.  When I advise you like that, some socalled legal advisers attribute that for monetary gains, we advocates give such advise.  I can also equally abuse them in their own terms by saying that protecting their own brother (your husband), who perpetrated harassment and dowry demand, just like THEY DID WITH THEIR OWN WIVES, giving you advise that not to file Section 498-A, domestic violence case.  It has become fashion for some to abuse advocates on this forum, who have got different opinion and most of the times advocates asking the queriests to file Section 498-A and domestic violence case face such problem.   These men's rights activists do not want Section 498-A and domestic violence Act and for that they lobbied with the Govt. without success.  Now, they advise the women not to file such cases.  As they do not give their correct  name and address, they escape from defamation cases and also penal provisions for giving legal advise without having a legal degree.  Let it be so.   I should not waste even a single minute about those interlopers.  Now, just by filing divorce case on the ground of cruelty, you may get divorce,  which, according to your query, you do not want. divorce  Further, in divorce case, as it is a simple civil case, you cannot get back the money you had given him to get his car.  You may be entitled to get permanent alimony depending upon his assets.  But no compensation for the hardships you faced in matrimonial life.  So, at  the end of divorce case, which very good samartins above suggested, you would be handed over divorce decree second time (needless to say that how difficult it is for you to get married third time with two divorce decrees) and petty amount as permanent alimony.  No recovery of expenses you spent on car.  Now you know whose interest you are asked to go for peaceful divorce and  who will be benefited by getting divorce.   This is my last reply on this topic.   

anishamital (n/a)     12 December 2015

Dear Concerns,

Attended the last date at CAW Cell where my husband need to reply on the dowry list provided  by me. There he written that he and his sister has not taken  and given anything.Even though he is saying that I have taken all my belonging with me which was not true. I don't know why he is telling a lie in such an extent ki wo mujhe mere clothes bi wapis nahi karna chahta. My lawyer has filled a petition for maintance and domestic voilence.

Now CAW cell will send us in a mediation centre.But i don't understand the behaviour of my husband. As i mentioned in the first blog that i will not give a divorce to him at any cost.

Kindly assist me what should i do now. Since he is even not coming with us for any comprise.

Don't know what is in his mind. Would also like to inform you that her sister also worked in Delhi high court as a public prosecutor.That's why her sister always said to my father ki un logo ko case ladhne me koi problem nahi h,they are habitual of these cases.

What should i do in mediation centre .

 

dowry victim (housewife)     13 December 2015

Dear Ashmita, Please do no try to justify yourself or your case on this forum.

dowry victim (housewife)     13 December 2015

Dear Ashmita, Please do not try to justify yourself and your case in this forum. As rightly pointed our by Prabhakar advocate, all these men are here only because their own wives have filed the DVC and dowry cases on them and supposedly all of them are innocent. They are never going to agree with you and are only going to discourage you. Do not withdraw your 498a and DVC cases at any cost unless they return you all the dowry that was given. After that it is your choice or as per the agreement. Do not file divorce if you dont want to. Ignore the suggestion given by others. This is completely your personal choice. And even if your ever decide to go for divorce, the suggestion given by others that your divorce will weaken if you have filed 498A and DVC is absolutely ridiculous and non-sense. I won my divorce case while my 498a was still pending.

dowry victim (housewife)     13 December 2015

Now comming to the attitude of your husband, it is very simple. He has only married you for money and this being your second marriage, you were a very apt bakra for him as he knew that you will not want to break this marriage at any cost and will therefore give as much dowry as he wants for as long as he wants. He is not beating you becasue he wants divorce. He is beating you becasue he wants more dowry. and his siter being a public prosecutor he thinks he can get away easily with this. He also believes that you too think the same things and therefore you will give up. But stand firm and do not give up. It is not that easy to get away with an offence. This is just a battle of wills. He knows that he is going to lose this battle but he will still fight it becasue he believes you will give up before the battle is over. This is going to take a long time. 4-5 years in trial court itself. trust me. Towards the end of these 4-5 years, your husband will come begging to you becasue at that point of time, he knows that it is only his loss going forward. Until then have faith and patience. And for now, Gear up!!!

dowry victim (housewife)     13 December 2015

And last but not the least...your husband knows very well that what he did was wrong. He still did it because he believes koi uska kuch nhi bigaad sakta...that's all..

dowry victim (housewife)     13 December 2015

Now, before we go to what you should do in the mediation centre, please answer this question first. What is your priority ? Do you want all your dowry etc back or do you want him to be punished and go to jail. In the mediation centre, they are going to try to convince your husband to return all the dowry and they are going to try to convince to withdraw the case and go for divorce. whether you want to agree to that proposal or do you want to see him behind the bars even if it means that you may never get your dowry and other articles back is a decision that you have to take(sometimes you may get your dowry and articles back but it will take too long). Be honest and be firm.

anishamital (n/a)     02 January 2016

Dear all,

I recently got to know that my husband has filled a case of annulment of marriage at noida.Even though I have filled a petition for Domestic voilence, dowry and maintaince. Since i have already told u that i don't want to give him divorce. this is our second marriage.Kindly advice about what is this annulment. And if i will say to court that i don't want an divorce.Can noida court force me for divorce. Kindly advice. Also share your contact details so that i can contact u over the phone for further details. Seeking of your advice.

Thanks

 


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