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Can a marriage be nullified on grounds of mental harassment

Page no : 3

dowry victim (housewife)     12 December 2015

Rhea, You NEED to get out of your comfort zone. You need to have patience and understand that neither can your marriage be fixed overnight nor can you get a divorce overnight. You will need to invest atleast 2 - 3 years for this. I know it sounds painful and disheartening but it is a fact. Gear up !!!

dowry victim (housewife)     12 December 2015

Now coming to your problem, I think I completely understand your situation and your husband's and in-laws mentality having been through an exactly similar situation myself. Here's my 2cents Your husband and in-laws only want your money and nothing else. To prove this point, tell your husband that you have resigned from your job and that you will be joining him as soon as your notice period is over. You will see all the true colors coming out which your parents will also be able to see then. But I hope I am totally wrong. 1. your husband will not agree for mutual consent divorce. That leaves you with only 2 choices a. either go for counselling to save your marriage b. or go for a contested divorce But, neither is your husband to attend the cunselling nor do you have evidences strong enough to win a contested divorce case. So here is my solution. i) Send an email to your husband telling him that you want to work on your marriage and resolve the differences and hence you suggest that you go for marriage counselling. (Send this is an email only and don't just tell him over phone as you may need this for evidence later). If your husband responds to this email positively then it will help you to save your marriage but if he responds negatively or doesnt respond, then it will help you in your contested divorce case which you may be forced to file. ii) irrespective of whether or not your husband responds to that email and irrespective of how he responds, please do go ahead and book an appointment with a good marriage counsellor collecting the evidence of your booking or appointment. And then send your husband an email again informimg him of your appointment and request him to please try to attend the session. If your husband attends this time then it will help you to save your marriage but if he doesn't then you have another evidence to help you in your contested divorce case which you may be forced to file. In case he doesn't attend, send him another email asking him for his convenient time and place for counseling. Whether or not he responds, book another appointment with an acknowledgement/evidence of the same ( ensure the appointment is as per his choice if he has respondedn) and again send him an email confirming the appointment. Please ensure you book atleast 3-4 appointments irrespective of his response. iii) Send your husband an email telling him that you want to move to delhi and live with him and willing to do anything including having to quit your job for that. Ask him to come and take you with him to delhi. I need not mention that the response to this will help your marriage or divorce accordingly.

dowry victim (housewife)     12 December 2015

Now coming to your problem, I think I completely understand your situation and your husband's and in-laws mentality having been through an exactly similar situation myself. Your husband and in-laws only want your money and nothing else. To prove this point, tell your husband that you have resigned from your job and that you will be joining him as soon as your notice period is over. You will see all the true colors coming out which your parents will also be able to see then. But I hope I am totally wrong. Here's my 2cents 1. your husband will not agree for mutual consent divorce. That leaves you with only 2 choices a. either go for counselling to save your marriage b. or go for a contested divorce But, neither is your husband to attend the cunselling nor do you have evidences strong enough to win a contested divorce case. So here is my solution. i) Send an email to your husband telling him that you want to work on your marriage and resolve the differences and hence you suggest that you go for marriage counselling. (Send this is an email only and don't just tell him over phone as you may need this for evidence later). If your husband responds to this email positively then it will help you to save your marriage but if he responds negatively or doesnt respond, then it will help you in your contested divorce case which you may be forced to file. ii) irrespective of whether or not your husband responds to that email and irrespective of how he responds, please do go ahead and book an appointment with a good marriage counsellor collecting the evidence of your booking or appointment. And then send your husband an email again informimg him of your appointment and request him to please try to attend the session. If your husband attends this time then it will help you to save your marriage but if he doesn't then you have another evidence to help you in your contested divorce case which you may be forced to file. In case he doesn't attend, send him another email asking him for his convenient time and place for counseling. Whether or not he responds, book another appointment with an acknowledgement/evidence of the same ( ensure the appointment is as per his choice if he has respondedn) and again send him an email confirming the appointment. Please ensure you book atleast 3-4 appointments irrespective of his response. iii) Send your husband an email telling him that you want to move to delhi and live with him and willing to do anything including having to quit your job for that. Ask him to come and take you with him to delhi. I need not mention that the response to this will help your marriage or divorce accordingly.

dowry victim (housewife)     12 December 2015

I do understand that even if your husband responds positively, your are not comfortable to leave your job and move to delhi and you dont trust these people. But girl, NOW is the tiem for you to move out of your comfort zone and give it a shot. This is the only way to either save your marriage or to let your parents see the reality and get enough grounds and evidence for divorce. Also, save all your sms/whatsapp conversations and do not delete anything from your phone if you had conversations regarding saving your marriage. You may have to submit your mobile device/phone as evidence later if things get worse

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     12 December 2015

@dowry victim, your advice, though given in good faith, typifies the problems in the matrimonial dispute resolution system today. Both men and women, thinking that they are super-briliant, come up with strategies, like the one given by you, to out-smart the other. This unnecessarily complicates matters. It also adds to the aggravation that invariably comes with subsequent litigations. 


Sometimes it is worth asking the simple question: What if I do nothing about this matrimonial problem? Is status quo good enough for me? For certain cases, inaction is indeed the best action. May be it will help you in your case too!


 

rhea   16 December 2015

@dowry victim, I understand your point of view. I had asked that guy many times to work on this relationship and make things better but nothing happened. I had never thought I wud need to prove anything to anyone so I never saved those messages. But that guy always used to talk on watsapp and avoided calls so I feel he has already tried to play the game safe. I just need to live my life peacefully and have o feelings of respect towards that guy. so Least interested to take things further with counselling or legally.

@Samir, I totally agree with you and doing the same now

Sandeep Naik (Advocate)     20 May 2016

Respected Rhea

I think the entire fourm is beating around the bush. I may be wrong and apologize to all the respected members of this forum for my blunt and personal opinion which is as follows :

Marriage for mingling of the two bodies in a legal way to live in the ideal society. Neither of the spouse has had that relations and either families are engaged in unwarranted defence. 

Rhea madam when u knew that he had such relations with his girlfriend or whosoever then u should have refuted to enter into nuptial knot. Assuming that u have ignored it and  having entered into this knot there is no point in throwing dirt on each other. The ego of having better salary is ur defence because he knew it even before the marriage. JUST PUT THE CONDITION IF HE CAN LEAVE HIS PARENTS AND STAY WITH U .  Coming together mentally and physically is the need of an hour. It will take time . Let both of u feel need for it. FORGIVE AND FORGET is the only solution rather than banging heads on the legal doors. If attachments is there then adjustment will be there and vice a versa..

U may take my advice or suggestion as pinch of salt. U r the best judge of ur own life. Regards....

Adv. Sandeep Naik 

 

b.goheel   04 June 2016

On this platform neither no one is retainer of anyone so that one can not thinking out loud openly about loophole in query nor able to judge in absence of other party say.
it is an universal phenomenon that everyone is cent percent right in own doing. only other say right or wrong. [like kasab and their lawyer are right in their own way]
So you are cent percent right in your endeavor.
exceptional proves the law – it is a general tendency that everyone seeks superior quality/status etc. in others than own. You did not feel necessary to mention what make you and your family to seek inferior groom ?

Consumption of marriage is your private matter and it is discussed at right place with proof to convince  the authority. –

from your point “my husband and his family started making allegations and remarks on my character. Before marriage only I had told him everthing about myself.” – it is good sign of trust you have put in your husband which normally no one expose it ownself till DEATH, if it affect the relation.

such a trust and affection is rarely seen. specially when there was a doubt of its adverse effect afterwards.

from your point “Before marriage too he used to say that he dint want the marriage for 2 years, he had a seriosu affairir. I discussed these things with his and my family too before marriage, No one realsied the seriousness.”  ----------   can understand the attitude of family of your husband but your family after hearing this unless ….!!!

from your point “this guy never talks face to face.He shares every minute details with his mom which I dont feel comfortable with “ true. Completely agree but surprised from the person who don’t hesitate to make statement openly of non-consumption of marriage  indirectly making serious allegation

without proof/evidence, ld. experienced senior who either themselves experienced or come across such false allegation in their profession  give their advice accordingly which retainer advocate check authencity of it before proceeding.

from your point “This marriage involved huge amount of dowry which I dint want but they gave for the name of society and now they pressurise me thinking dowry money will b a wasted. “  DOWRY there are allegation that bride family produce fake bills in the name of dowry to extract more than given.  but that one can get it under the protection of law that small child of every nukkad is aware of it.

rhea   13 December 2016

Hello,

Both the families had a discussion and now they have agreed for a mutual consent divorce. As per the lawyer, this would take a years time and I would have to be present in the court for three times. I want this marriage to be annulled as this was not a marriage at all.

please suggest a best solution so that I can save time and efforts.


(Guest)

I have arefully gone through your history as stated in thread, after careful cosieration and looking at your backgorund and  socio economic settings and specially bif your marriage is nor consumated, it i best for you to disoolve this arriage .it wont work.Ujnles tremendous efforst and acrficise are done oin boith sides. that is unlikely.\

As suggestd by learned experts here it is less a laegal problem and more tyical womens pathetic psoiton in male chauvanist society. We are still living ins ame 100 year old world though wearing clok of odernsims and psuedo reforms .A typical mother of groom thinks the same way as 100 years ago .There is lurking and latent desire for dowry and more  dowry.

any way best way is to file mutual divorce petition. it cant be faster and more painless than this mdoe.

Sicme you are ind elhi you can meet me with appointment .Our NGo keeps helping women and we have been successful in several attepts in past to resolev issues in optimum manner depending on parmemeters of situaiton .

rhea   16 December 2016

Thanks Mr Gupta. I stay in Mumbai and not delhi but the guy stays in delhi. Now they are not keeping their words. Thay are saying once I sign the papers then only they will return the money and gifts. they are not trustworthy. I fear they might cause us more trouble by filing a false case. Let me know how this can be done smoothly. Can I file a complaint against them and get it resolved soon ?

this has been a traumatic time. Please suggest and let me know the procedure and fees included.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     16 December 2016

When an agreement is to be signed for mutual consent divorce or for that matter for any kind of a settlement between two parties, it must be court-approved. That appears to be understood by you. Next, every aspect of agreement must be in writing and nothing verbal. If litigation commences later to enforce the agreement only that which is in writing is enforceable. In fact the agreement should have a statement that this is the entire agreement, overrides previous agreements and that there are no other verbal or written agreements. In your case, you ought to get your belongings, whatever they may be, before the Judge, in Court and there sign the agreement. This way, both parties are secured. They may think that you will not sign after you receive what you are demanding and you may think that they may not return your belongings once you sign. It is perfectly acceptable to have a provision in the agreement that both parties agree to do ... this ... this and this... before the Judge as part of the agreement.  This protects both parties and eliminates the suspicions that advocates usually raise (but rarely give a solution).


(Guest)

There is slow moving judciary in India even magistrates sitting on files of Domestic violence act and giving peanutes to women in distress.

So you need to be prepared for a fight .

Firtst thing is to keep it cool. Please rest assured they cant file any false case. No one will listen to them. Not easy to file a case agaiunsta women in Indian courts.

We need to understand minutely the behaviour of both parties and the circumstance before we can suggest you a solution that ispratcial and fast

You can call on whatsapp pohone if you are on whatsapp and have a details discussion primafacie to undertnd all this going on .

Dr Gupta

Hpony President Janshakti

rhea   28 August 2017

Hi, As per the advises received on this forum and mediation from family we went ahead with MCD. They agreed to give the money left after calculating all the expenses of marriage. Petition was filed on 13th Jan 2017 in the court in my hometown. I went there attended all the proceedings...mediation. i had to go to my hometowm by taking leave in the month of july post 6 months cooling off period. Then i went again to attend all the 3 mediation hearings in august and now on the day of final hearing magistrate cancelled the petition saying the case have been filed too early as the date of separation was mentioned as 15th May 2016 so 1 year was not completed. We married 22nd apr 2015. I tool leave for 15 days in 2 months attended 5 hearings and now m back to 0 as the magistrate denied the petition. I am mentally, physically tired.. time and money wasted. Now the lawyer suggests to file a fresh petition.

rhea   28 August 2017

I dont wish to waste more time and money and serve the guy by going to hometown for every hearing. Suggest me if i can continue this by staying in mumbai

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