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PKV   07 October 2018

At my wits end. Divorce Advise Request

Hi, I am a man seeking divorce from my wife, which she is unwilling to grant. I have been married 12 years, blessed with 2 kids - 12 and 6. A few facts of my case: 1. We have signed a customary deed before 2 years, on a stamp paper with two witnesses on each side. As per my lawyer, this deed is considered a valid divorce for our community. (Patidar/Leuva Patel) 2. Despite the deed, we are living under one roof. I have been forced to accept this living situation by major manipulations from my parents and wife. 3. Wife had verbally agreed to file for 13b on receiving a decided alimony amount. 4. Since that amount was beyond my reach, it took a couple of years to arrange. Now that i have done so, she refuses to bring her lawyer and sit down for mediation. 5. She is now demanding that I hand her the alimony without any witnesses or lawyers present if i want 13b signed.She also refuses to let me speak to her lawyer, nor gives his name and keeps stalling legal queries. Lately she been has clearly stating that she is not going to let go of me. 6. That's when I decided to move out of the house with my younger child, as arranged in the customary deed. She threatened filing DV case against me and my family if i moved out with the kid (my parents btw, are totally on her side). Question: From what i can gather, registration of the customary divorce deed should be enough to be recognized as a court granted divorce, provided it is not objected against by either parties or anyone affected. My wife and my father, who has signed as a witness from.my side, will both object. How can one go about getting a court recognized divorce Is there any way to move ahead on the basis of this customary deed signed two years ago? Or will i have to file a contested divorce petition? Any feedback will be highly appreciated.


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 7 Replies

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate)     07 October 2018

What is the advise of your lawyer (s) ? Prima facie it is unbelievable story.

PKV   07 October 2018

Sir, life has become the stuff nightmares are made of. According to my lawyer, 1. there is nothing illegal even if i decide to remarry on the basis of the customary deed, let alone moving out, withoit the fear of 498a. On the flip side he says, the deed won't be able help change my marital status on the passport. This has confused me, hence i write here. 2. To change marital status in any legal document he recommends filing divorce petition.

PKV   07 October 2018

To just file tbe motions she is asking the full amount. She refuses to sign a single paper witbout the Full amount. Hence, divorce by mutual consent is becoming bleaker by the day.

Vijay Raj Mahajan (Advocate)     07 October 2018

This deed of agreement for divorce is not decree of divorce issued by competent court that will be considered valid proof of divorce. The concept of customary divorce was once recognized in the eye of law when the Hindu Marriage Act was not existing. Divorce done in this manner in certain communities had been recognized as valid divorce even after coming up of the HMA. However now when the Act is there the court insist the for valid divorce only decree of the competent court as provided in the Act will be recognized as valid proof of divorce. You will be in big trouble if you remarry without getting valid decree of divorce from the competent Family Court and can be prosecuted for offence of bigamy. If that happens, none of your learned lawyers will come forward getting you out of trouble, rather they'll run away.

Martin S.   08 October 2018

You are having advocate, you should follow your advocates advice, dont use your head and contact 10 other advocates on free forum, you will confuse and complicate your case. 

R Trivedi (advocate.dma@gmail.com)     10 October 2018

Why your parents are against you?

Martin S.   11 October 2018

Did your wits end?


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