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ankush (director)     19 November 2013

Advice on desertion case

I and my wife have been married close to 6 years; we started having differences and petty fights but did not have any major differences.


Before our wedding she had asked me specifically if I would like to settle in the US to which I had said no and that in case she was keen to do so, I would not go ahead with our marriage.


However, she kept clandestinely trying to get a transfer to the US after we got married and a little under 4 years after our wedding got the opportunity. When she broke the news to me she mentioned it as a "temporary " transfer for 1 year. Since we had a 1.5 year old daughter at this time, I was not very keen but since I did not want her career to suffer did not stop her from moving with my daughter to the US.


To my surprise, I soon discovered that her relocation was permanent and that she had assumed that I will follow her. She did not care to discuss, consult or convince me about the permanent move - just shifted and then started telling me that it was a great opportunity for me to move to. I have both personally and professionally never wanted to move to the US and was not keen. But more than my unwillingness to move to the US, I was aghast at the way she handled the whole thing - hiding her intentions from me and then hoping / assuming that since the child is with her, I would be emotionally pressured to leave my 13 year well paying career to start afresh in the US! In fact she would regularly tell me that she was doing me a favor by giving me a chance to move the US!!


It has been almost 2 years since she has gone with my kid; initially she kept telling me that she will come back if I do not find a good job in the US. I agreed to look for jobs and made visits to the US for the same but when I could not get a suitable option, she would say that I am not trying hard enough and kept extending the timeline for her to come back. Finally, I even agreed to take a 3-month unpaid leave from my work to again come to the US to look for a job.


In the meanwhile, she found a video of me casually interacting with a woman colleague on my phone that I had left in the US on my last trip - she has been now threatening me with dire consequences which she believes will happen if she releases the video to the public. The video just has me hugging a colleague and does not amount to adultry or anything close to it. I have been faithful to her all this time but she is threatening me with divorce saying that alimony / maintenance payments she will be able to claim will ruin me.


I need a view from your esteemed selves on what my rights are in this case. Can / should i file for desertion and restitution of conjugal rights? I am very concerned about her taking away my life's earnings in the name of alimony and maintenance. I know laws are loaded in favor of women these days and am therefore very concerned which is why I am even ok with being in a compromised "dead" marriage to avoid having to lose my hard earned money. However, if my case is considered to be strong (given that she deserted me) and I can be released without payment of maintenance or alimony, then I would definitely like to get out of this marriage ASAP.


She earns over $4500 per month in the US and her parents are very well off with multiple properties in Delhi.



Many thanks


 2 Replies

AjayKumarSharma (Anon)     19 November 2013

I don't get it, if she is in US and wants to stay in US then there is no way she is going to come back just to claim alimony. I mean I'm just guessing but you are the best judge. Does it seem reasonable that a person who just wants to be in US, is in US for 2 years, has a comfortable salary would come back to India and start a case against you.. leaving all the good things behind!!!???

if I were you, I would do this in the order mentioned:

1. Start nego with my employer to have more of salary components reimbursible so as to have less in hand?

2. Dispose off with big ticket properties / investments or refrain from them until something is settled.

3. Stay in cash or savings and start living in credits.

4. Start conversing with her by ways of emails and messages and keep proof of the same.

5. what about the child? Have you given a thought as to what would you like to happen to her?

6. See if you can reason with her via someone from her family side. Find out someone reasonable in her family and tell them about this issue. Ask them to mediate and resolve this for you or 3 lives will be left hanging in balance.

7. See if you can visit her company, meet her boss and explain them your situation. Be prepared to speak to HR etc on the issue and inform them how its imperative for your married life that they recall your employee. If she is in an Indian MNC/company speak to higher ups like VP, Director etc, lower rung managers are usually good for nothing.

8. If everything else fails, tell her that if she should release it in public or shut about it.. cause your colleague thinks that this amounts to blackmail because one the vid is out, its bound to ruin her and your life. See if you can get ur colleague to file a police complaint of blackmail against your wife. Police won't take any action since she is in US but you'll have proof of innocence in the form of complaint. File for divorce for mental cruelty on you by keeping away the child and forcing you to join her against your will and blackmailing you and workplace colleague. (Ideally wait for a good 1 year of trying to resolve things before taking this extreme step)


Contact good criminal lawyer.

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