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Priya   30 July 2018

Adult survivor of child abuse

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am adult survivor of child abuse by my cousin brother when I was 10 years old.He abused me s*xually by touching and licking my private parts.Its so disgusting and hurting for me.This pain is haunting me since many years. I am planning to take legal action for the loss and pain I have gone through these years. None of my falimy members are supporting me thinking this reputes family's prestige and social stigma.

How do I go about it? Please suggest me. 
 



Learning

 12 Replies

Vanshika Kapoor   31 July 2018

Hi Priya,

I understand that the trauma of the incident would still be haunting you and you aree looking to find peace with it in your mind. Let me tell you about your options and you can decide then, what you would like to go through.

Unfortunately, there is bar of limitation under section 468 of the Criminal Procedure Act, 1973 which restricts filing of criminal complaint after three years. But if you still need to take some serious legal action, you can always file an FIR, but it is highly likely that the offender will face punishment because for such crimes, the FIR needs to be lodged immediately after the incident or atleast soon after the incident.

 

Vanshika Kapoor   31 July 2018

Hi Priya,

I understand that the trauma of the incident would still be haunting you and you aree looking to find peace with it in your mind. Let me tell you about your options and you can decide then, what you would like to go through.

Unfortunately, there is bar of limitation under section 468 of the Criminal Procedure Act, 1973 which restricts filing of criminal complaint after three years. But if you still need to take some serious legal action, you can always file an FIR, but it is highly likely that the offender will face punishment because for such crimes, the FIR needs to be lodged immediately after the incident or atleast soon after the incident.

 

Priya   31 July 2018

Okay thank you understanding my situation. Is there no other way to report such issues?

Priya   31 July 2018

Okay thank you understanding my situation. Is there no other way to report such issues?

Aks   01 August 2018

Priya, 

Its sad to hear that you went thru this tragic experience.  As far as legal action against him is concerned..it seems too late to really get some punishment for him.

Such incidence leaves a person wounded and scarred with lot of mixed emotions of anger, sadness, helplessness and desire for revenge.  These feelings are natural in a trumatized person and need to be processed to rebalance normal emotional life in the future.

My humble suggestion will be to leave the legal option and let him live with the bad he did to you. His karma might get him some day.    You should consider getting into psychotherapy (talk therapy) with a good psychologist and work on your hurt feelings and reach to a point where you can love a man noramally in the future and be happy again. Best wishes.

 

1 Like

(Guest)
I fully agree. He will pay for his mistakes, sooner or later. In Gods court, nobody gets away with anything. Enjoy your life. Look forward and leave the past. Yes it's hard I know, but you can.
1 Like

Priya   02 August 2018

Its hard to digest the fact that nothing can be done against them. Its difficult to see them get away with this. Its true God's judgement is final. Thank you for your moral support.

SOLOMON.RAJ (advocate/director)     03 August 2018

Hii Priya,

Though it is barred by limitation you can always file a writ petition before the High Court as it has inherent powers under 482 .


Adv. Solomon Raj,
Attorney at Law,
Bharat Gaurav samman awardee 14
AICC National Legal Chairman.
email:rajcarey@yahoo.com
phn:9866545086
1 Like

Aks   04 August 2018

When we are hurt...we feel angry and want to take revenge .  In anger, we are unable to see the incidence from different angles.

We become consumed with thoughts of hurting the person,...who hurt us.   As far as such s*xual transgressions are concerned, there are complex psychological reason why people end up behaving this way...why they behave in risky manner.

Sometimes, the person dionot intend to hurt the other but has acted wrongly for some other reason such as curiosity, deprived of s*x, stressed due to some other cause, depression and boredom...and many more possible resons.  Somrtimes two people had subtle agreement but later, due to too much guilt feelings ...one has to put all the blame on the other.

With maturity and undestanding of meaning of such human behavior, it is possible to forgive and move on with one's life. 

Harboring a lot of anger is like keeping the fire burning in your heart...it hurts you as much it hurts the other.

1 Like

Priya   04 August 2018

Originally posted by : Aks
When we are hurt...we feel angry and want to take revenge .  In anger, we are unable to see the incidence from different angles.

We become consumed with thoughts of hurting the person,...who hurt us.   As far as such s*xual transgressions are concerned, there are complex psychological reason why people end up behaving this way...why they behave in risky manner.

Sometimes, the person dionot intend to hurt the other but has acted wrongly for some other reason such as curiosity, deprived of s*x, stressed due to some other cause, depression and boredom...and many more possible resons.  Somrtimes two people had subtle agreement but later, due to too much guilt feelings ...one has to put all the blame on the other.

With maturity and undestanding of meaning of such human behavior, it is possible to forgive and move on with one's life. 

Harboring a lot of anger is like keeping the fire burning in your heart...it hurts you as much it hurts the other.

I understand your thought behind the pain but unfortunately that's not the case here Sir. It was a bitter experience where I was threatened not to share with any of the family members.He fought with me and thrashed me for disobeying him. He behaves like a beast not as a human atleast. I am not the only one who has gone through this experience few of my other cousin sisters too faced such abuse from this person. That is the way he is. 

Aks   05 August 2018

The additional information just provided by you makes it more clear to me that sadly you had to deal with a low quality, psychopathic man who hurt many . Yes..such a man deserves severe punishment as he might keep hurting other women.

But, the point is how to teach him to be kind and humane...Due to long delay in filing complaint..I am not hopeful that he will get punishment he deserves. And, I don't have great faith in Indian Police or even courts because corruption is rampant.

You should not have been treated the way you were treated.  Empower yourself..be emotionally, educationally and financially strong and prove that such tragic incidense could not deter you from making progress in life.

vinay_2431 (engineer)     10 November 2018

Hello Priya,

   The best revenge that you can take is to empower people to come and report as and when the issue happens,

teach and empower people so that they dont face the situation that you were in today.Forgive and Forget is for the strong people like you.

  Empower as many as you can even if one person gets help because of you thats teh best revenge that you have taken.

God Bless you.

Vinay.


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