(Guest)

Wife avoiding me (revised brief explanation)

I have in detail posted in a previous thread the whole story. But as I have not been able to get any replies or suggestions, I am giving brief explanation again in a separate thread.

Me and my wife had a relation since 2009. she was a minor then. later after some hurdles I married her in 2012. our marriage happened in a temple. i kept the marriage secret from my family and my father in law kept it secret from their relatives. both me and father in law agreed to take her with me after her studies completed.

not knowing my marriage situation in 2015 my mother arranged a match for me and confirmed date for marriage without my consent. I finally told them i was already married and got the attempt of marriage withdrawn. meanwhile my wife got suspicious and my father in law gave a false complaint that second marriage has already happened. the situation was explained clearly and statement was given by me to the police about the events and both us parties came to a compromise. our marriage was immediately registered. no FIR was lodged.

My parents sent me away. i stayed with my in laws for a while. my wife went for studies in another city.

i had some health problems and had to go on leave on loss of pay. i had financial issues. these were misunderstood by my wife as me neglecting her and the same was encouraged by my father in law instead of convincing her. i had to depend on my parents for 11 months for even basic needs. their condition for me to stay with them was that i leave immediately as salary resumed. same was conveyd to father in law and wife and no one objected.

i got resumption of slary from may 2016 and arranged a rented separate house for me and my wife.

problem is since december 2015, communication between me and my wife diminished and since april 2016 i am unable to contact her by phone as she has blocked my number and since december 2015 she change her numbers twice.

i contacted my father in law and asked to send her with me and i will take her with me. at first he gave excuses like she was busy doing some project work, then he said she does not want to be disturbed by me as her studies will be spoiled by me. later when i insisted more I began getting threats that for me to take my wife home I will have to get the permission of the police where the initial complaint was given. and i will have to wait till october or till they decide when to set up a meeting.

my question is what right do the police have to keep involving in my marriage. what steps should i take to get a meeting with my wife to persuade her. i cannot live without her.

I have publicly declared my marriage immediately after the complaint to avoid any other efforts from my family or my relatives side. but my wife's relatives do not know that she is married. they have declared her as unmarried even in her college and hostel for purpose of scholarships.

Now after much humiliation, I have come to a point I do not care about my job or anyhthing. I just want her in my life and I want to do the right thing and persuade her. please help me.

i am attaching a letter that I wrote to the police that were involved during the inital false complaint. please go through for details.

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8 Replies

A walk alone (-) 18 August 2016

Brother stop kidding. If she dnt want to live with then no court no law no judge can force her to live with you. You are just spoiling your life your career by moving for her. Remember one thing always love that person who loves you. She is just playing with your feelings. Start recording all your phone call and messages. Stop running for her otherwise if she file some case again on you then you and your family will be in big problem. If she dnt want to live with you go MCD and find someone else. Dnt spoil your life for one who dnt love and care you. Ask yourself if she loves you then why she block you number,dnt want to come with you, hide her marital status from her relatives ?

(Guest)

Originally posted by : A walk alone
	Brother stop kidding. If she dnt want to live with then no court no law no judge can force her to live with you. You are just spoiling your life your career by moving for her. Remember one thing always love that person who loves you. She is just playing with your feelings. Start recording all your phone call and messages. Stop running for her otherwise if she file some case again on you then you and your family will be in big problem. If she dnt want to live with you go MCD and find someone else. Dnt spoil your life for one who dnt love and care you. Ask yourself if she loves you then why she block you number,dnt want to come with you, hide her marital status from her relatives ?

I know she loves me very much. she has been manipulated and given false information about me by her father. He is the one coming in between us. I still have some hope of persuading her, because she was the one who said she cannot live without me when I tried getting away from her. now I cannot believe that she actually feels me as a distraction to her studies and avoiding me. and her father is always interfereing and threatening me. We have been in a relation for six years, married for four years, why all of a sudden she changed her mind? I just want to know the truth. please help me take steps to know the truth. Once her own opinion is known, i will decide. But I am very much confused as to how I do that

A walk alone (-) 18 August 2016

I know its very hard for you to accept truth but time will tell you truth. Have patience. Do one thing if you can spend money hire some detective he can help you in finding truth. Or organize a family meeting of elder of both side then you can directly ask what she want? But believe me being a girl after reading your threat can tell you she is making you fool. She dnt love you. No girl can do this under her parents pressure. If you have sister you can ask her opinion. I know her father interfere but she is not also child who believe her father blindly. You can also consult this matter with any marriage counselor.

antony JP (teacher) 18 August 2016

Dear brother..i was also thinking like you but i say you one thing even she comes back she will leave you again...her father may be a problem but she is not true to you...she plays double roles that is the problem..i am experienced.....i advice you leave her... Antony 09497524006

(Guest)

My fear is only one thing. My father in law is an influential person. He is just trying to convince my wife against me so that he is free to cause problems to me without worrying about his daughter coming to defend me. I used to think my father in law was a very good person. but found out very late that he is just a cunning fellow with friend at high places.

For me to take any step, I need to know soon my wife's intention and her problem with me and what she wants for me, so that I have a chance to continue the rest of my life with her. But the situation at present is not favourable for that and I do not know how to deal with such people and situation. and I want to do it in a legal way. the more delay i make, the worst it will get and more chances of my father in law succeeding in separating us forever.

(Guest)

(Guest)

Originally posted by : SURAMPUDI JAGADEESH

Originally posted by : autohide147

This is common theme of all matrimonial stories. When relationship goes sour everybody's father in law suddenly becomes influential having powerful friends and dangerous intentions.

Read the threads of other men on this forum..... all your fever of "love" will go away.

Many husbands running around, "will I get bail", "how to prove me innocent", "give me maintenance judgement", "will parents get arrested", "should I file perjury".

Your wife wants to leave you on her own. If you have any iota of sense jump on this opportunity and get mutual divorce before she or her father change their mind.

Thanks for your inputs, but do not generalize every other query sir. the problem at hand is simple. my wife stopped talking to me without any reason and I am not being allowed even to meet her to persuade her and the reasons given by father in law are illogical as he says not to disturb her studies. I only need suggestion as to what is the best way to approach in this matter.

i just wish to find out what went wrong and if i had done any mistake without my knowledge and set things right. and for that I need to talk to my wife, not any other person.

As for my father in law's influence, it is not the problem because such things when absolutely necessary can be handled by my parents. I need help to further not destryoing my marriage not some random stereotypical generalization of the problem.

and as for jumping on the opportunity, i do not want a divorce. but in the worst case scenario, if my wife and father in law do want it, I wish to get to know from them face to face. If you can suggest any way to do that, I will be very greatful.

(Guest)

Originally posted by : Ramesh Singh
	If you want to approach her legally, then you have to disclose you marriage proof, be catusios she already gave fake information in university, you know what university dump your wife outside. And her life ruin, can she accept you then, she spoil your life by every legal means, forget about f-in-law, wait till she return home, OR try to contact any student there by which you can approach(without disclosing you marriage), imagine you are unmarried and in love, n you know better how to approach(had experience?)

Thank you sir and others for valuable inputs. I do not have any intention to ruin my wife's studies. I have already talked to my father in law directly and asked him to send her to me no matter what and I made clear my intentions of taking her with me at any cost. I also told him to arrange a meeting in front of elders from both sides along with my wife present and talk frankly and all this drama of his is of no use. he thought about it for a day and later yesterday he called me and agreed with me and assured that he will convince her in front of everyone and remove the misunderstandings and will send her with me. I have made a recording of the conversation and decided to wait till the time that is in October.

I just pray to god that my relation with my wife is not so destroyed as some people here presumed.