I am 26 yrs IT consultant from Mumbai & the elder son of my family, beng a successfull boy at early age (started working from 18)my marriage was a big thing for everyone in my family. My cousins sister's in laws found a match for me from there town. It was all good, marriage was a big affair & i planned for honeymoon in shimla & manali in snow to have lifetime memories. But that was it all the happiness in my marriage which is going to be 1 year old now.
I got married in Feb2011, after 15 days of marriage & coming back from honeymoon my wife got hallucinations and tried to kill her by hanging on fan and talking of fear of life. we have consulted doctor who suggested to visit psychiatrist.
For information purpose my mother is also got Schrizophrenia 4yrs back (at the age of 41) so we have shown it to one of the reputed psychiatrist who is treating on mother too concluded it as a case of schrizophenia for my wife, at that time she has to be given shock treatment and 20 days of hospitalization. It was big shock for us and me and my father decided to co-operate in the situation instead of making it worse.
In one of the followup treatment doctor reduced her depresssion tablets. Her problem of hallucination was solved but due to having so much pills she can not work so it resulted in another attempt to kill herself by cutting knife and another attempt to burn. Due to attempt to burn her leg was burnt and due to such attack she had to admit in hospital again. Doctor had given her shock treatement followed by schrizophrenia and depression tabletss.
Now since last 4 months she is at her fathers home and being treated there for burns. During this time period we did not informed to any of our relatives as we were thinking after medication she will be fine and informing to relatives would create a chaos which would hamper her treatement. But one of her uncle without undestanding anything tried to defame us in her and our relatives. Due to which all people got jumped into this, after debate and brainstorming there are suggestions too
1. Leave her and file for divorce as if something happens to her life in future my in laws would blame it on us (as one of the uncle did ) which in turn can cause unnecessary legal dispute and much losses for no fault.
2. Make a affidavite with all the happenings and mentioning that if something happens to her life in future we would be not responsible to it. But according to doctor such affidavite can not be made and looks bad in the eyes of law.
Now i know that she will be lifelong treated for her disease and missing few days tablets will have all the scenes repeated. I also know that she can not be normal and live normal. For next 2-3 years i can not have kids. If do there are chances to pass on this disease to them.
Still i want to give her 1 more chance to come to life as giving her divorce will ruin her life completly. But giving chance to her does not mean if something happens to her life due to her own actions should result in trouble for all of my family.
Due to all of the above i too got depression and visited a psyachatriatst who refused to give me any tablets initially but later gave me some and suggested me to not to take her back home as this is going to be continued lifelong and you have done as much possible as you can. As well it is costing in your personal health.
We have all of her medical records after the marriage but do not have any records for any treatement done before marriage. Her father acccepted in person in front of me and one of doctor who was treating her that she was being treated for such disease before but they do not have any records of it now.
Two months before marriage i had purchased home in Mumbai (on my own earning + help from father + loan) and soon i got married in two months (this was done in hurry). Due to changing rules from RBI and home loans i am already suffering form financital crisis. I do not want to build another reason for crisis by paying hefty money required for divorce.
Request the all members to suggest me how i should proceed on this matter without taking much risks or should i proceed directly for the divorce. In case of divorce i was reading on forum that marriage has to be 1 year old and both partners should be staying away for 6months. Already its 4months for us to be staying separated.
After all of this my love in marriage has ended & i am tilted towards having divorce but thinking of her after divorce my heart mellows and i do not get courage to do so. But at the same time i do not want all of this for lifelong with so much of risk and side-effects.