No need for woment at any stage to change surname...Only thing is you need to fill fresh Family Details Form available with Dealing Assistant of your office. This intimation should be included in your service records. Also in family detail form you can write the name of persons with their existing surnames and your pre-marraige surname. Only thing which your office can ask is for Proof of marraige - This can be in the form of Marriage Certificate, Wedding Card Invitaion Copy, Picture of marraige, Affidavid.
For DHS facility you will require group photo of your complete family.
Still if Head of Office refuses to entertain, please intimate him the same with either an application where he specifically mentiones his condition of non acceptance OR send the document through official email of HOO OR through Registered Post mentioning 'New Family Details for Incorporation' on Envelope.
Hope this helps you...