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Tejal (house wife)     22 May 2012

Who can be the best mediator in family dispute?

Inlaws had through their DIL because of nongiving of dowery & also because DIL is not earning..She is living at her parents home from almost 1 year she dont want to aproach any court -kacheri . & the inlaws are not comming for the meeting to show their actuall intention what they want ....

1..In this condition who can be the best mediator to have a meeting & counceling between both parties , ? Woman police station or Woman NGO?



Learning

 16 Replies


(Guest)

Woman police station or Woman NGO?

These both will take money from both sides and will not do anything .

Better way is common relative/person through who your marriage relation was made.

Vishwa (translator)     22 May 2012

If it is a dispute between husband and wife, no person is really competent, unbiassed or disinterested. If the couple is incapable of sitting down and discussing the problems, it surely means that the marriage has reached the irretrievable stage. Best to go for divorce or dowry case.

Tejal (house wife)     22 May 2012

What to do if inlaws & husband dont want to come for meeting either for divorce or reconcile? IS there any to get them in the meeting by notice or something else?


(Guest)

Discuss with a good lawyer.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     23 May 2012

1. If parties are resident of Delhi PM me. The record is 16 on-site mediations till date 15 successful, in 1, one party died midway which was not my fault!

2. BTW I shall not charge as one person will be unhappy at the end of it which is humane nature.

3. Give me only one input - marriage continuation or divorce what among these two that YOU want rest upto me.


Above besides the point the straight answer is "when both of you didnot involve Women cell / Police / Court at the time of marriage then for mediation too donot involve them - have strength / courage between you two to sort the mess out via face to face - it is doable

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**Victim** (job)     23 May 2012

@ Tejal u should approach the mediator who got involved during your marriage then only this could be resolved. But if you are thinking to bring your inlaws to india so that you can file case on them that is not going to happen. No matter if you want divorce or if you want to reconcile in both ways you will have to discuss this within family there is no legal remedy to this................ neither women NGO or police station will help you extradite your husband from U.S.

Rajeshwari (software engineer)     23 May 2012

I think most of the women are facing the same problem.who wants to go to police, courts????????????In my case also me and my parents tried lot to have talks with in laws and husband , mainly my husband who stays in US , he never came forward for talk. donno wats their intention till now? women bares lot , she goes through physical and mental harassment in hands of husband n in laws but still indian women wants to save marriage ( because of social pressure), i left him when i was in do or die situation. still am not ready to approach court and police, my parents dont want to involve in courts and police..but how?? in worst case i need to approach police n law.my husband is immature , he is not ready to listen for any thing ( am not talking of all men , i do find most men take good care of their wife's), murkh shikamani.......wat ever he says i have to follow blindly , what ever he does i have to bear....its already 5 months no one came forward for reconcilation, in laws and husband just ignoring me  when i left to my parents house. They were challenging us to  approach law(again emotional drama started because its girl life, ur life is going to be spoiled, if u want mariage then shut ur mouth ,keep ur self respect aside )

Rajeshwari (software engineer)     23 May 2012

I think most of the women are facing the same problem.who wants to go to police, courts????????????In my case also me and my parents tried lot to have talks with in laws and husband , mainly my husband who stays in US , he never came forward for talk. donno wats their intention till now? women bares lot , she goes through physical and mental harassment in hands of husband n in laws but still indian women wants to save marriage ( because of social pressure), i left him when i was in do or die situation. still am not ready to approach court and police, my parents dont want to involve in courts and police..but how?? in worst case i need to approach police n law.my husband is immature , he is not ready to listen for any thing ( am not talking of all men , i do find most men take good care of their wife's), murkh shikamani.......wat ever he says i have to follow blindly , what ever he does i have to bear....its already 5 months no one came forward for reconcilation, in laws and husband just ignoring me  when i left to my parents house. They were challenging us to  approach law(again emotional drama started because its girl life, ur life is going to be spoiled, if u want mariage then shut ur mouth ,keep ur self respect aside )...i think 498 a is misused by few women but its not been used by victims  actually .In my case i dont have any intention to file it though i have all proofs and evidences. we in our family is thinking as court cases consume precious time and  am already 25, my family wants to settle me asoon as possible , get remarried again in 2 yrs..but still i feel wat abt this dirty idiots who plays with girls reputation,in our community there is lot of craving for dowry , they ill treat girl and girls family ..this keeps on continuing...if parents supports then a new life , or else suicide or death....

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     23 May 2012

@ Dv dowry victim,

Don't wait for them to come forward, approach them through some other relatives, friends who can bring about communication between your side and your husband's side. As your parents would like to get you married again in another 2 years, do not waste any more time. Go for mutual consent divorce.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     23 May 2012

@Haneesha. YOu cannot proceed properly if you do not decide clearly as to future course of action.  It appears you are confused about future course of action.  You want to negotiate, but are you sure you want to get rid of the existing relationship with husband?  I don't think so.  MCD is an option.  But there is dilemma.  You might have already given lot of dowry.  Will you let him go easily having given so much dowry?  Unless you recover that amount how can you be at peace when you marry second time?  So you have to be clear about choices you make as of now with regard to future course of action.  Legal action starts after you say firmly, this is what I expect from the existing marriage.  Like -

 

I want to remain his wife and be part of his house :  Then file RCR petition or Residence orders under DV Act.

 

I want justice, I am angry about their behavior :  Then file 498A or S.3 of DV Act.  But then you have to remember once the legal proceedings begin, there is no way marriage is going to work for you.  So before initiating legal action, you should be clear that you lost your husband and be mentally prepared for it.

 

I want only maintenance    :   Then file for maintenance under S.125 Cr.PC. or under DV Act or under HMA.

 

I want divorce :  Then file for contested divorce or if he is ready for mutual consent, go for mutual consent divorce. 

 

I want divorce along with recovery of dowry amounts and streedhan :  Then file for recovery of Streedhan under Sec.406 IPC along with Sec.357 Cr.PC. and also compensation under Sec.22 of DV Act along with Divorce petition with Section that is applicable for your case.

 

I want only mediation, they shall be forced to come on to table for discussion :  Then file 498a, before filing FIR police will arrange for mediation.  But remember if the intention is to re-unite never use this option.  Nobody having discussed family matters in the presence of police will accept a DIL or wife, that too when DIL or wife forces them to come and mediate.

 

These are all the options for you or for that matter for any woman whose marital life is at cross roads and comes to seeking legal opinion when marital relationship is not working.  Depending on what you choose Advocate decides about the legal proceedings to be initiated. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     23 May 2012

The best mediator is the one who has no expectations from you in terms of money.  Someone amongst your wellwishers in your friends or relatives.  When marriage takes place, husband socializes with some people from your side and you would have known such and such person is likeable to him.  He would have expressed sometime or the other.  Use that person for this, if there is one.

Kasim Kheruwala (Advocate)     23 May 2012

Involve elderly welwishers of both sides by initiating dialogue.

Pavan (Manager)     23 May 2012

only the common close friend or reputed personality of the society , who can influence both and bring them on a table for talks and discussions will be the best mediator.

Police , Women NGO and all so called women organizations are simply fooling the victims and earning money ( better to say - robbing money in the daylight , by frightening you ) . So, donot approach these all farzi people and trust the common friend of both the parties.

Otherwise , life will become worst in police and courts.

Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate )     27 May 2012

@Haneesha.  Never listen to what Advocates suggest because whatever they do they do in their business interest .... I add the word..."generally" to avoid causing hurt to genuine ones.  You don't allow them to decide on your behalf, you decide what you want and tell the Advocate this is what I want.  Otherwise, he will decide, "this is what you want now" and he will spoil the relationship if there is any possibility of reconciliation.  Most of the marital relationships, which may otherwise have the possibility of reconciliation get spoiled by Advocates because parties unknowingly give them sweeping powers to decide on their behalf.  That over-dependence is exploited by them and they decide, "this is what you need to do now".  It is always better keeping the options in view the party decides what he/she wants rather than Advocate deciding on party's behalf. 

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