What if divorce is not granted .....

I am no expert to answer your questions but since I am going thru a contested divorce case , I thought will share my views on it. This is from my wife perspective who is contesting my divorce and so thinking about why she dont want to give me divorce when no court can force us to stay together. 

a) In my case she is getting handsome maintenance amount.

b) she is not giving me the divorce because she knows that I desperatly want it. so she is able to harass me and give me a difficult time. Revenge is a strong motivation.

c) all the time I am not divorced with her, she is enjoying my limitations for not being able to move on. 

etc etc. 

These are some of the reasons why the divorce are contested in practicality. Its rare that the divorce is contested to be back with the petetioner.

So in lack of intentions of cohabitence , why should there have been a rule to force to make them the couple live together.

Its to harass the other partner, gain monetary benifits and to prove yourself right in the society are the reasons for contestment of divorce. if no divorce happens at all, even in highest court that litigant went upto, then its only the contestent mercy that will decide peace in their life. I have heard of a woman that she never gave divorce to her husband and he also stopped trying after few years of separation. When he retired from his govt Job, his wife agreed to give him divorce for half of providend fund he earned in his life. 

First things first:  No court in India can force anybody to live with anybody, that too in case of husband and wife.

Originally posted by : Sunil Sharma
	Dear Ld. Members,    So many spouses are fighting for divorce in the court. In this regard, I have a query and would like to get a response.  Take the case, a spouse files for divorce, and it is contested by the other party. At the end, the court does not grant the divorce. Even after appeals in higher courts, the divorce is not granted. What happens then?   (a) Can the court force the spouses to stay together / cohabitate?  (b) By the long battle and through volleys of allegations and counter allegations, either both the parties or at least one party must have developed strong animosity towards the other. Under such mental conditions, how can both parties stay together if divorce is not granted?   (c) If the court can't force the spouses to stay together, then what's the end result of these divorce cases?  When one party is very adamant ie not willing to cohabit, then eventuall divorce is granted, asking the other party to cough up money as one time settlement [usually husband is asked to pay money as settlement to wife] Marriage is about understanding, when going from lower court to HC to SC, what is seen is, will the couple cohabit forgetting their differences over a period of time.  Ultimately when the court comes to know, this does not lead anywhere, divorce is granted, but this depends on situation to situation, case to case.  If you have such case, you can discuss with me by providing me such facts of case and I would be happy to answer your queries. (d) If the divorce is not granted even in higher courts and either of the spouses have decided not to stay with the other, can anyone do anything or intervene?

OK. Money and Revenge (with cascading harassment) are the two influencers to continue divorce case. More desperation you show in getting divorce, more prolonged it will be. That can take care of the revenge part. Let the other party live with revenge! But at the end of the day, the marriage is dead. So the fight will continue, mud slinging will continue over a dead thing. But the strongest logic is the money part : Yes, it is an important aspect. Without desperation, you can intermittently play tricks with the money part forcing the other party to approach the court innumerable number of times!! It is only possible if you don't show desperation. One thing is for sure that whenever a spouse files a divorce case, and the other spouse decides to fight it in the court, the former has already got a relief : keeping the latter at bay, not cohabiting with him / her further. A bad marriage is more than a hell!!! That's the good thing of filing divorce ..... not for divorce per se but not living with a bad spouse (men will have to face several pains with several pursuant criminal cases after filing divorce suits!!). Nonetheeless it is better than living with a bad spouse!!!   

it means that she is not interested in divorce and some or the other way she is stopping to be separated from you and that why you are being not granting divorce even in higher courts 

yes once one party try to get divorce and other is not interested but after some arguments in the court both parties will be at angry stages and not willing to be part of there life 

try to analyze why you were not granted divorce 

Dear Sir,

If you think that fighting is not the answer to your ever longing anguish and pain,despite trying hard and knocking every door justice does'nt seems to come to you.Then the better option is resolve the matter ambically or appraoch the Hon'bleSupreme Court under A.142 in its extraordinary jurisdiction and try you fate again for the last time.

Otherwise if without getting divorced you will be legally tied up with each other in the eyes of law and none of the party is free to get married again during the life time of other spouse.

 

Advocate Kapil Chandna

+91-9911218741

 

 

 

you can leave happily with other women or other guy but you cannot legally you cannot marry because again it will become another legal tangle that is begamy marriage and she will file begamy marriage and if you are government servant your job will be on roads means you will be suspended till the case is decided 

I believe that marriage is a very sacred union and should last life-long.

Many times misunderstandings happen, sometimes due to over-communication of one spouse or at times due to no communication between the couple. Every person is human and can do mistakes. But why should a marriage, family and children suffer for those mistakes.

Why cant couples think of re-conciliation. Why not stop being selfish and think about the welfare of the family ? What does one achieve by going to court ? If no court can force a couple to stay together, then we only waste time and money in fighting court cases.

The spouse who is being adamant in a relationship and insisting for divorce, should understand this . Atleast for the sake of kids future he/she should think of re-conciliation.

I am going thru a similar process, where i actually and seriously want my marriage to work. But my husband wants divorce anyhow. I can fall at his feet and apologize for my mistakes, I can live like a slave for him..............but he is just now willing to give me a 2nd chance to start life afresh. And the worst part is that I dont know where I actually went wrong in my marriage.

@ Pooja ..... I emphathise with you. I understand your point of view. But the problem is that filing a divorce case is a tough decision both for husband or wife until and unless there is a collusion. However, it is like a glass ... if it breaks then it is difficult to put it back. Well, sometimes it depends on the kind of breakage .... in certain cases the breakage can be mended. But the hard fact is that if one party is not interested (call it stubborn), no amount of persuation can change the scene. It gets further complicated and the situation is totally sealed when the opposite party decides to level counter allegations either in the divorce case or by instituting other cases!!! Once it is done, i have a feeling the matter is closed. The marriage is practically dead. It is better to move ahead ....

@ Sunil Sharma :  totally agree with u. instead of looking inside of one self, try to find out fault in others. thts human tendency to establish supermacy by finding out fault in others.

Hi Friends, @ Pooja- U said U would fall on your husband's feet to save ur marriage.Then also no use. My friend is also facing the same problem. Her husband was having extra marital affair,which was supported by the in laws also. My friend was tortured phy n mentally for dowry, had no family life and was treated like a slave,2 yrs ago coz she didnot get money she was necked out of the house. When she went home back expressing to fulfill their demands, she wasnot accepted,my friend was made to fall on her husband's, inlaws and sister's in law feet and ask for forgiveness. Still they had no mercy and wanted to get rid of my friend. Even her husband never showed love for her, he had many affairs in the past and even after marriage,still she never complained,but those guys donot want her now. When she asked her husband to rent a house for her,he denied.She didnot want to be trouble to her family so asked him to give her certificates which he denied. She approached an advocate and on advice filed DVC.Judge asked her to divorce husband annd marry again.My friend told the Judge she wants her husband back as she loves him and not divorce. He said he cannot make her husband live with her.Her husband says he and his family do not want her. My friend approached the court to have her married life / husband back as no one was helpful.

Very good pooja not for that you fall at your husband's feet and apologize, but for the reason you atleast think about your marriage life and compromize the situation, whatever it would be. You understand your husband's situation and conditions as well where he is and how he is. You understand that also that you are a moral support to your husband. Once you are with your husband, then, your husband has a willpower to fight with anybody in this world for anything goes wrong for anybody it may be you, your kids, may be your parents, his parents, bla..bla...

Appreciate you that you have realized your place in your husband's heart and in his family. Finally, I would only suggest one thing that never ever take any wrong step, which may harm your family, though, Indian Kannon is very much in favour of female gender.

Life never gives a 2nd / 3rd Chance of mistakes.

I wish you and your family a very happy and sucessfull 2nd innings of your married life....God Bless Both of you.

your query is very heart toucing to save your life the words comes from your heart 

its nice to hear a women comes to this forum for reconciliation of her marriage and she goes to an extent in public to touch the feet of his husband to save her marriage,

sincerely we can give advice but by heart we pray that your married life will be at happy sides very soon 

 

Originally posted by : Pooja
	I believe that marriage is a very sacred union and should last life-long. Many times misunderstandings happen, sometimes due to over-communication of one spouse or at times due to no communication between the couple. Every person is human and can do mistakes. But why should a marriage, family and children suffer for those mistakes. Agree with above points. Why cant couples think of re-conciliation. Deep down inside they know, a line has been crossed, feelings have been hurt, trust has been destroyed to the core.   Why not stop being selfish and think about the welfare of the family ? When such selfless act which binds the family is not respected then people are bound to become selfish.  No doubt in that.   What does one achieve by going to court ? If no court can force a couple to stay together, then we only waste time and money in fighting court cases. If all were to think like you, there would not have been divooooooooooooooooooorce lawyers in India. The spouse who is being adamant in a relationship and insisting for divorce, should understand this . Atleast for the sake of kids future he/she should think of re-conciliation. Yes, this one each couple who is going through divorce should think and give a second shot at marriage itself.  Simply they will spoil young children's future.  I have met many a kids who have grown up into becoming rapists, women haters, men haters, thieves, always found on the other side of law whose parents have had taken divorce.  Its such a cruel thing to do and they wont ever believe in the institution called as marriage ever.   I am going thru a similar process, where i actually and seriously want my marriage to work. But my husband wants divorce anyhow. I can fall at his feet and apologize for my mistakes, I can live like a slave for him..............but he is just now willing to give me a 2nd chance to start life afresh. And the worst part is that I dont know where I actually went wrong in my marriage.   Let me tell you one thing about men.  Men are more sensitive than women per se, they get hurt very easily, cry very easily, but wont forget things that easily.  Repeated hurts over a period of time usually over a period of time will leave a kind of scar in the minds of men, either someday they will bring it out very violently, or just find someone else or just drift away.  That is one main weakness of men, they keep everything inside, bottled up anger leads to such situations.  Not just women need to be understood, but men too.

The comments of Helping Hand is interesting and pragmatic. Divorce is dreadful thing both for husband and wife. There is a general tendency to demonise a man and to show a woman as wronged. It may be true in some cases but it is of course not true in all cases (everyone knows it) -- generalisation is absolutely wrong. But the point I am trying to make here that divorce per se is not a solution but the start of a bigger problem. The bigger problem is the mental health. As per a survey, both divorced men and women suffer from mental problems afterwards. In majority of the cases, they are never same!!! The revealing fact is that %age of men suffering from mental problems after the divorce are much much more than that of divorced women. Apparently men have more physical power (it may not be true and men are generally blamed for it in the marital discord), however they are mentally not as strong as women. Women are more stable and they can manage things better. But men are projected to be strong but actually weak inside.