LCI Learning

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

vijay (Engineer)     08 December 2011

Save my family life

Hi Respective member,

I would like to get advice from this forum regarding my marriage. Brief story:

 

I got arrange marriage on mar 2009.Intially my life was going good. My native place is Lucknow and I was working in Delhi. My wife belongs to Allahabad. Before marriage we haven’t investigate too much about her family background. Before one month of marriage my family got to know her brother is fighting the case of divorce with her wife and they never told us, just was blaming to her wife.But we ignore this as we thought when girl will come in our family, she will adjust, why we worried about her family. After one month of marriage life was going on. As I was working in Delhi and my mom and dad was staying in my home town, so I place my wife to lucknow for some time to understand my family, meanwhile I was searching good house to accommodate her in Delhi.

As my marriage was new ,so I don’t want my wife should  feel alone for that reason every Friday night I usually travel from Delhi to Lucknow. My mother explain me about her nature she never take interest in house work, awake so late etc .I tried to convince my wife as whatever your habit was in your house, leave that and try to make adjust here. She always says why your mother is not awaking me, that sound very weird. My mother suggest me please take her along with you otherwise our relation will exploit. But I always want she will adjust one day , but that never happen.

One day big incident happened my dad called me in Delhi and said, your wife start abusing your mother and try to mess with my mother, after listing this I got fed up .After 1 hour latter I got called from my wife brother “Hey I know any other affair running with you that why u can’t take my sister and start abusing me. Immediately I catch the train to Lucknow and decide to take her, as she did lot of abuse to my mom and father so I decided at least she should relies her mistake and go with me. As she knew that things if she will not make apologies, I will not bring her so she apologies with my mom and dad and come with me in Delhi. Delhi life was going on and she never takes any interest to call my mom and dad. She used to call her parents minimum 2 hour per day. When I told her you got married why your mom and brother are interfere you life than her though was very different “I know you are caring your mom and dad for money only” God knows I never demand single penny with my mom and dad and never given single penny. They are self capable to do lot of work as both were working and I am the only son of my parent. After spending 1 year in Delhi I got handsome job in Bangalore .I was planning to come to Bangalore so my dad has decided to meet me. Again new dram has happened as Bangalore was new to me so I decided to bring my dad with me, so he will search house from me in Bangalore. My wife has started fight with  me why I haven’t told her that I am going with my Dad .Drama went extreme she stated shouting as her nature is so aggressive and then finally her brother has send the police on my rented house. Police has arrived and given advice to my wife don’t break the family. But she was saying I beaten her etc, etc.. Police has gone after written compliant, nothing has happened. I reallocated myself to Bangalore, with my house hold and suggest her I will bring her, after I get house and other stuff.  She had gone with her mother. After 2 month lot of discussion abuse has happened and finally I bring her to Bangalore. Life was running on as simple, her nature is so r ridiculous, she always behave  untouchability for everything, that is dirty that is wrong etc. As 6 month has been passes away, I gone to my home town to celebrate Deepwali along with my wife after such incident. Things was good till Deepwali , next day again for small issue fight has happened that taken so extreme .Her brother again send police on my house.

 

Now I want to get suggestion from your forum.

After spending around 2.9 years of marriage she stays with me only 1.2 year. Her family natures are so worst, as her brother is lawyer not so big. Just doing small practice .How can I save my family life. I don’t know might be they people are thinking to take any worst thing for me like 498a.But not sure. My parent staying in lucknow and I am working in Bangalore. I have one sister which is elder to me and got married and living in Delhi.

How can I change my wife nature and make my family life happy. After this Deepwali  I haven’t bring her. She is staying with her parent from last 2 month. As I am working in very challenging environment, I am not able to focus my work. My parent ages are above 65.Please help me for the same.



Learning

 12 Replies


(Guest)
Get rid of her is the only advise..If she can not think independently.

vijay (Engineer)     08 December 2011

Thanks for reply. I want to save my family life. Not sure whether they people will go such extreme steps for 498a.If yes how can I save myself and my parent .I am staying in Bangalore and my mom and dad is staying Lucknow. Sister lives in Delhi.


(Guest)

Keep on recording your all calls and try to pursuade your wife to join you. You may ask tell me if my family member harmed you if i harmed you..we had so peaceful life together and all sweet talks..It may help in future.

How can i chanage my wife's nature ???


If there is any medicine/remedy it would be instant hit and person inventing this formula would be the richest person on the earth by now :-)

 

raj malhotra (M.D)     08 December 2011

VIJAY MERE BHAI...

                                   U ARE PAYING FOR UR MISTAKE ONLY....AND UR MISTAKE IS U DIDNT INSPECTED OR INQUIRED ABT UR IN LAWS BACKROUND BEFORE MARRIAGE...REALITY IS UR WIFE IS A SPOILT CHILD AND HAS CRUEL  MIND...AND HER PARENTS R ALSO SUPPORTING HER IN HER WICKED INTENTIONS....

NOW U LOVE UR PARENTS AND U LOVE UR WIFE TOO...BUT UR WIFE DOESNT LOVES UR PARENTS...SHE WANTS U TO DANCE ON HER AND HER FAMILY'S TUNE...

UR WIFE AND IN LAWS R JUST THREATENING U INDIRECTLY TO MAKE U SEPERATE FROM UR PARENTS...I DONT KNOW WHY...MAY BE BCS THEY HAVE MEAN MENTALITY...

NOW WHT SHOULD U DO...

1.BE CALM.

2.EXPLAIN TO UR PARENTS THAT U LOVE THEM AND U R ALWAYS WID THEM BUT U LOVE UR WIFE TOO

3.AS U LIVE OUTSIDE OF UR NATIVE PLACE..TAKE UR WIFE WID U...TAKE HER IN TO CONFIDENCE AND TRY TO EXPLAIN HER THT U LOVE HER AND U LOVE UR PARENTS TOO.

4.TALK TO UR IN LAWS AND TELL THEM THAT U LOVE UR WIFE VERY MUCH AND DONT NEED THEIR INTERFERENCE FOR PETTY ISSUES...

IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT ITS THE ONLY SOLUTION TO UR PROBLEM BCS U WANT PARENTS AND WIFE TOO...I WILL NEVER SUGGEST U TO LEAVE UR PARENTS..BUT IF U WILL TRY TO DIVORCE UR WIFE SHE WILL CREATE A LOT OF PROBLEMS FOR U WHICH I CAN SENSE FROM UR STATEMENT AND U KNOW BETTER THAN ME...TRY TO TALK...INVOLVE SOME RELATIVES OR NEUTRAL PERSONS IN THIS MATTER IF POSSIBLE...BUT ONLY INVOLVE TRUSTWORTHY PERSONS...BCS SOMETIMES THESE NEUTRAL PERSONS ALSO BACKSTAB U FOR MONEY...THIS IS THE ONLY SOUTION..AS U R IN CLUTCHES OF A  CRUEL WIFE...TAKE CARE...BEST OF LUCK.


(Guest)

Hi Vijay,
 
My senses says even if you take her to wherever you are , be prepared for long battle. These kind of wives doesn’t respect any relation.
 
Sooner or later you would be awarded with legal threats and false cases.
1 Like

pankajk (business)     08 December 2011

Simple advise from the facts mentioned by you..

Its not worth to continue in the long run... Get rid of it..

cm jain sir (ccc)     08 December 2011

1) One day definetely you have to face legal suits becuase they are experts now in dealing with these issues as you had narrated that his brother is facing similar charges.

OR

2) other possibilities are that they know the negative effects of legal suits so they will be afraid to go in this direction.

Now you urself is the best judge to decide about them. Just tell them politely that if you will act for divorce then what will be their response. You have to be alert in dealing with them always. Take immediate steps to safeguard you and your family members if you sense any trouble. 

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     08 December 2011

You are the best judge,

 

Remembver FEAR ALONE WOULD BE YOUR WORST ENEMY.

 

Regards,

 

Shonee Kapoor

harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Preetam Kumar (customer care)     09 December 2011

hi,

i am also suffering with the same issue however u have atleast trust on your wife nature....but  i dont trust mine.....some time i think it is just a fate of life and every one have to bear some cost.....i am also going to take a risk once again surrendering my life to her .....kash log samaghte k agar aap ksisi zindagi bana nahi saktey to uski zindagi se hat janna aacha hai.....just do good and leave the result on GOD.....

**Victim** (job)     09 December 2011

I agree to Raj Malhotra even for the fact that mistake has already happened don't ask for divorce she will create a big trouble for you unless you are ready to fight against her.

Aishwarya (Teacher)     09 December 2011

Its like her brother is now in a habit of sending police every now and then ..highly excruciating

Anyhow u should be vigilant and ponder upon to save ur marriage if atall she respects u and loves u and trusts this relationship completely..

Shonee Kapoor (Legal Evangelist - TRIPAKSHA)     09 December 2011

Rahiman Dhaga Prem Ka Mat Toro Chatkaaye,

Toote Peeche Na Jude, Jude Gaanth Pad Jaaye.

 

 

Regards,
 
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com

Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register  



Post a Suggestion for LCI Team
Post a Legal Query