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Rajesh (SWE)     14 July 2012

Please help me


Dear sir/madam,

This is my second post reg the same problem.I thank everybody who have answered my previous query.


I got engaged one month back because of my parents force.Though i am not at all interested in this marriage my mother's health played with my mind and i sat for engagement.Later on i tried to adjust with the girl in many ways and i recognized that if this continues i may ruin both of our lives.After one week of our engagement i told this to the girl and both of our parents.Firstly my parents were furious on me and told that i have to marry at any cost.This made me to depress further which made my parents take me to a psychiatrist.The doctor told my condition to everybody and as my parents cannot loose me they have accepted to talk to the girls parents.
   Some how i could convince the girl also and she has agreed to break the engagement.But the girl's father is threatening us.When the terms were good they have deposited 4 lakhs in to my father's account(please do not mistake that it is for dowry.It has been given for marriage expenses as our parents have asked them that as i am their only son they want to conduct the marriage.They have booked a marriage hall also.) and they have taken photos and videos during engagement.Now they called our parents for settlement and called local rowdies which made my father worried and somehow he escaped.Now my father is receiving abusive phone calls from the girl's father and he is saying that he will go to the police station and file a cheating case and dowry harassment case against us.
    Sir/Madam,i got a doubt here,whether the feelings will be there only for girls or for boys also.If a girl breaks an engagement it will not an issue and if the boy does the same mistake why so much harassment in India.
 I told her parents even if they do the marriage forcibly we cannot  be happy.Are we living only for the sake of others or for our sake also?They are cursing me that i have spoiled the girl's life.I admit that i have done a big mistake but if i marry now both of our lives will get ruined and that will be the biggest mistake of my life.
Now i request you to please let me know under which sections can the girl's father file a case against my parents and me.He challenged that he will make all of us arrest and get a huge penalty for my mistake.
Please make some time in your busy schedule and please reply.I will be very thankful to the detailed explanations as we are very confused and donot know what to do.
Yours truly,


 4 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     14 July 2012

It is natural that the parents of the girl would react harshly because of the immaturity shown by you by getting into the engagement and then breaking it. Their girl will have to pay the price for that as she will have to face loss of reputation in the society becoz of her broken engagement. Ppl will ask them questions and that is making them infuriated and so want to teach you a lesson. Better you accept your responsibility and apologize them for your mistake and wrong caused to the girl and return all their money, presents and expenses they have done in the engagement and take the receipt in writing. If you are able to talk to the girl then talk to her politely and convince her to talk to her father and pacify him and do not aggravate the situation further as it will be detrimental to the interest of both the families and end the relationship peacefully.  Take the mediation of some reputed persons having some authority and influence to pacify situation. Try to handle the situation politely and maturely.

1 Like

Adv.R.P.Chugh (Advocate/Legal Consultant (     14 July 2012


How to pre-empt and guard against false cases by estranged wives and in laws?

“For men in India marriage is a lottery but you can’t tear up your ticket even if you lose…” and it’s not just you who would have to live with the lost lottery but your entire family may have to suffer at the hands of a system so grossly skewed in favour of women.

Marriages may fall apart for a lot of reasons, temperamental issues, compatibility problems, but does that make you an offender in the eyes of law? Yes it does, your estranged wife in order to have her way in arm-twisting you may implicate you and your family in end number of false cases, 498A being the foremost.

498A penalizes cruelty for dowry, almost always comes alongwith S.406 Allegations which basically penalize the criminal breach of trust, when your wife’s articles are entrusted to you and you fail to return them back – misappropriate them or convert them to own use – you are criminally liable !. By aid of S.34 of the Indian Penal Code – your family/relatives can be held liable for the same if they share the common intention with you.

Now if you think that you have a wife who can potentially do this for money or the kicks that her ego gets out of the same or pure vengeance then you are my friend in a vulnerable situation, but there is a silver lining to this, there are legal strategies that may help minimize, if not completely rule out, the damage or mischief that may occur to you.

Being a Supreme Court Advocate and a Mens Rights Activist I speak from experience, the following things may(if done correctly) help in a lot of cases :-

1. Insist on a dowry-less marriage – Preparing of list of articles received at the time of marriage, countersigned by both the families, would help rule out exaggerated claims later !

2. Digging the well before the fire starts; when trouble starts at home you apprise all concerned of the problems that you are facing, not for the purposes of any action but information;

If you see things going awry in near future, then it would be good idea to seperate from parents to a rented house with sufficient public notices;

3. As per the prevailing law atleast here in Delhi, if your wife approaches a Police Station with her complaint, she is to be forwarded CAW CELL instituted to try and reconcile and investigate and act as buffers so that penal actions are not inititated right away. Once the matter goes to CAW Cell – apply for an anticipatory bail , you are sure to get notice bail atleast – this would help in two ways :-

a) Give you greater confidence, level playing field in the CAW Cell talks;

b) Prevent any hasty arrest on failure of conciliation;

All in all nothing to lose in this and in this step 1. Would help a great deal.

4. Seek a copy of complaint via RTI ASAP, since they deny at the first instance you’d have to appeal therefrom which may take some time. There are CIC Decisions that would help you here.

5. In the event of an FIR being registered apply for AB again, and quashing of FIR (not always depends on the kind of allegations leveled)

6. Filing Restitution of Conjugal Rights (case that you want her back) may help in some cases, but not in all. Sometimes it helps in defending maintenance cases, and showing your bona fides.

7. Keep a check on your wife’s finances. Would come handy defending maintenance cases.

8. Prosecution (S.340 CrpC) for perjury in cases of false & exaggerated claims in maintenance petitions.

9. Tax Evasion Petitions once you get the List of Istridhan may also help put pressure.

10. Dowry Prohibition Act – penalizes giving of dowry so in case there is a clear admission of DOWRY (not Istridhan) then in that case your in laws are also liable to be prosecuted. Think on these lines !

11. With a marital property law on the anvil, don’t buy property in your name, much less jointly with spouse.

The above may go a great deal helping you defend correctly, my advise would be to stand your ground, don’t give in to their extortionate tactics, once you’d get an AB the worst would already be over and after that the judicial system with it’s endemic delays won’t treat your wife differently, sooner or later she would realize that frivolous litigation doesn’t pay !

The Author is a Supreme Court Advocate, and a Mens Rights Activist and can be reached at, Tel : 9810553252.


1 Like

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/     15 July 2012

Dear Rajesh

Adv. Archana is right, I agree with her

1 Like

Rajesh (SWE)     15 July 2012


Thankyou all for your answers.

@ Abhijeet.......I will not give you a negative answer because u seems to be the person who have not done any mistake in your life.In our culture marriage is conducted by the girls side.As i am the only son to my parents they have requested their parents that they will conduct the marriage.For that they have deposited that amount.Further we have given gifts worth 1 lakh to the girl and booked a marriage hall with 1.5 lakhsand i have taken a ring from them.Normally as u seems to be an ideal person atleast sharing the marriage expenses by both will be ok  or all the expenses should be borne by the boy only?I am not giving u the explanation.Am just want to know the legal consequenses.Ethically i have already suffered.Am ready to give back their money as well as any compensation they demands.I know money may not fill the damage and i dont need further confirmation.

But i want to know the sections under which i can be punished legally.Lawyers please let me know......



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