| Originally posted by : Adventurer |
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Hello,
I got married in Oct 2015, for both of us it's the second marriage, my husband is a lawyer. From the initial few days I started noticing certain anger and aggression issues in my husband but couldn't really pin point the exact problem. Now after an year into this marriage and having gone through 2 months of marriage counselling and psychiatric evaluations, my husband was diagnosed with personality disorder, though the Doc didn't clearly specify which one but did mention Aggressive personality, micro psychotic episodes, emotionally unstable, adult ADHD etc and prescribed anti psychotic meds; my husband took those for 2 months but with not much improvement and abruptly stopped. Post this,his aggressive behaviour was still there and was very distressing. He is an abuser and tries to control me and most people in his life. Determined to find answers I have been to 4-5 psychiatrists and on basis of my explanation of his condition they have diagnosed him as cluster B personality disorder/ anti social personality disorder and one specifically characterised him as being psychopath.
After reading more about it, I now realise he is lacking empathy, is remorseless, leads a parasitic lifestyle etc and is actually a psychopath His previous divorce was through mutual consent and in that marriage too he was verbally abusive and physically assaulted his wife, which he has confessed to me
Recently he physically abused me. I have gone 'no contact'. I want a divorce. How should I go about it, considering the fact he himself is a lawyer (corporate).
1. Nullity on basis of psychopathy? How would I prove it? Should I try get him examined at a govt hospital?
2.Divorce/ nullity on basis of concealment of mental illness? I have evidence of him having a known diagnosis of personality disorder before this marriage.
3.Divorce on basis of mental illness
4. Divorce on grounds of cruelty.
What would be the best exit route for me? Also, he has expressed that he will never divorce me and would prolong the proceedings etc. |
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Just your stating that he has mental illness is not sufficient to get you divorce. Nor do the diagnosis made above fall into the category where court can grant you divorce.
From what it looks like, you are trying to legally build base to seek divorce from your husband and nothing else.
What is the reason behind your husbands behaviour? What is your role in it? He has been married once and divorced once. The same has not been said about you. Past experiences can give a bitter present and that is what seems to be happening in your case. When you join hands with such a person, you should take the other person into confidence, rather than trying to find fault with him, and try to build up character into your relationship. Remember it is tough to come out of divorce (yourself gone through one, knows better), the divorce via mutual consent might be over, on paper. But the ordeal will be great. And in such if you marry a person who has gone through great hardship emotionally, he would want to control everything so that things might not spoil the second time around. It appears you are unable to comprehend to his needs and simply doing rounds to doctor clinic, trying to make this as a base to get divorce, which ultimately will not be fruitful.
Just one year so of marriage and you are thinking of divorce? For him it will be second one if it happens, for you also one more divorce?
You need to think about this seriously, how many times will you both do like this? Marrying, leaving, applying for divorce? Marriage looks good once, max twice, but divorce? Wont look good second time around. After this again re-marry? Third show?
Yes. Like he says, he can make you roam to court endlessly, that probability is always there. Find some middle solution? Find peace elsewhere? Carry on with this marriage, see how it works in the next 2 years. Think about how to mend this, rather than how to break this? As you are aware, if one does not want court wont give divorce easily, it will be roaming to same old court, with new husband.
If you want a way out, ie divorce, that can be done, but you need a experienced Lawyer who can get you divorce sans the above story of mental illness, as mental illness is very difficult to prove in court, and such should be incurable and the above does not fall into such category and yours is not that a long marriage where you have suffered a lot because of his behaviour, that too yours and his is second marriage, court will not grant you divorce easily, but it all depends on your lawyers skills. You think and let me know via PM as to what you decided, will suggest you how to go about it if at all you say it is not possible at all to continue with this marriage.
