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Sumit Singh   13 August 2015

Need a suggestion

Hello Experts,

I got married in Dec 2014 and my marraige has been a disaster. My wife is a working professional too earning a package more than 10 lacs in IT company (Don't know I will have to give mantainance etc or not).

The facts are:-

Out of these 9 Months she has hardly stayed with me for approx 2.5 Months, her parents will call her again and again to their home for different irrelevant reasons.

She will never spend time with me and hardly talks.

I am living s*xless marraige and have zero physical relation till date in short it has not been consummated due to her willful denial of s*x.

She will fight on small small issues and have shouting and Anger Problem.

She will share everything which happens at our home to her home showing different context altogether.

Her parents have called and misbehaved with me several times.

She has zero dedication towards my Home and Parents.

She left my home in june without any reason, took some jwellery with her (which created doubts in my mind that something bad is about to happen now) Now things are in open and her Parents have even stopped picking our phone.

I accept I did a mistake and few days back out of frustration on 2 - 3 occassions sent some harsh sms to her:-

for eg: your dad is cheap, why did you stole jwellery , if you want alimony tell me and please leave me etc etc

and fought with her dad on phone.


Please guide what should be my immediate step to safeguard my self from False Allegations in Future and get my marraige Annuled if possible or shall I file for Divorce. Now all people suggest you should not file divorce first as it can lead to backfire of false cases like 498 A etc , then you might need to pay mantainance etc. The thing is if they are not ready for MCD then I will have to file divorce any how sooner or later?

How strong evidence can these sms be against me ?

One more thing which I found on net that willful denial of s*x amounts to cruelty and is a strong ground of divorce, will this apply in my case as its a short marriage,

another judgement I read that interference of girl family is also a ground of divorce, which has been a lot in my case too. Can these 2 grounds be a strong point for divorce in my case as I see remaining points like her fighting on small issues etc are difficult to prove.

Really thanks for your time.



Learning

 10 Replies

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     14 August 2015

Hi Sumit... 

 

You are 10000000th men in India going through exactly similiar experience right now in India.

 

If you have some love, trust and hope-for-change left on your wife, then do not take any legal step.

 

Just pursue her, talk to her to come and live with you.

 

Let her take the first legal steps and then you can respond.

 

But if you, absolutely, don't have any hope on your wife, file for nullity of marriage on the grounds of "will denial of s*x".

 

Though this is an ugly idea to take this matter to courts, you can use this only if you cannot tolerate your wife and doubt that she might resort to fake criminal cases against you.

 

 

 

 

 

1 Like

Sumit Singh   14 August 2015

Hi Prasad,

Have been reading a lot online recently and I now know these have bcome common problem now a days. I will not want to have her back as I have tried my best to talk to her on several occasions. I have tried with love, I have fought, I have Pleaded, cried whatever possible . I am sure that she has got some psychological issues too.

For eg: Although there have many such incidents but sharing a small one, couple decided (Its wrong not couple but husband requested) to go out for movie , somehow the movie show of 12:00 Noon is not available so husband tries to look for next show which is available at 1 PM , the wife shouts and refuses to go saying it will become late. There has been n number of such incidents without any logic.

Sorry to say but do not want to make my life hell , seperation is the only solution.

I know this issue will never get resolve as her parents will keep on interfering and she also doesn't understands. She has already told me you cannot change ones nature.

However, can I file for nullity as I read it is only if s*x is absent due to impotency , you can go for annulement.

You mentioned "Just pursue her, talk to her to come and live with you" but my friend she has already changed her contact no too.

I really do not understand what has happened to these girl now a days, mostly the wroking ones , they take these things so lightly. She has already said "Mai us jamaane ki ladki nahi hu" , mujhe koi fark nahi padta etc etc

 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     14 August 2015

Sumit...

 

The cultural value degradation of these type of working women is not entirely their fault.

 

It is the short sightedness of those who did not make the marital laws gender nuetral.

 

The existing marital laws assume that the women is always the victim.

 

I think your decison is right to get divorce from her cruelty.

 

As you do not have any kids, it is not going to be complex.

 

Try your luck for a MCD. If she demands money and you can afford it.

 

MCD takes only 6 months.

 

Else, file for divorce based on mental cruelty and make sure to capture every cruel event with date, time and other relevant proof.

 

But it is going to be a long battle.

 

 

1 Like

Sumit Singh   14 August 2015

Hi Prasad,

I have been asking this a lot but haven't got a satisfactory answer. Lets say due to their ego they refuse for MCD , which I am sure of.

My question is how long approx do you think the battle could be if I go for cruelty on denial of s*x to get a divorce?

Secondly, lets say they file those cases like 498A , Dv, 125 etc , how tough is it for girl and their family to pursue these cases, or is it that only i will suffer and they will sit and enjoy after filing these cases.

Why I am asking is because the actual story which I feel is that girl is earning good and also supports her family financially and her parents out of mental insecurity that I might take her away from them keep on inetrfering in our lives.

So will it not be tough for girl to pursue these cases, taking leaves from office etc running with lawyers , means how is the situation for them, in regards to expenditure , time wastage etc because if its a tough fight for them too then I am sure enough they will break before me and will not be able to pursue for long and will surely come for compromise soon.

SuperHero (Manager)     14 August 2015

@Sumit Singh - Time and Tide waits for None. 

Born Fighter (xxx)     15 August 2015

Sumit, read carefully...

  1. If your wife is earning 10L PA and IF this is true and you have evidence then she will get ZERO maintenance for herself through court of law.
  2. You dont have a kid so better as no question of giving maintenance to kid
  3. Do you think your wife will have time and evergy to file 498a/DV as in MOST OF THE CASES , women do this to harass husband for MONEY i.e MAINTENANCE/ALIMONY. Having said that some wicked women who are well earning do file such cases to claim hefty alimony using 498a/DV ............but you remember she will get money only if you succumb to her pressure before entering the court. If you dont she will make a joke if she claims maintenance/alimony in court of law
  4. Sab kuch bhool ke just gather evidence on her Salary/Employment and relax. Let your beloved wifey take the first legal step if she doesnt agree for MCD.

DONT BE AFRAID, BE READY TO FIGHT THE EVIL, All the Best !

 

 

Sumit Singh   15 August 2015

Hi Born Fighter, Thanks for this.

3 months back she was with a different company earning package of 8 Lacs for which I have original PF slips of couple of past years, she has recently switched and now the package is 10.5 but I do not have any proof for this, however if needed I can find a way to get it from some friend etc.

She is Btech and MBA and I have copies of marksheets and degrees too.

So, I will wait for their first legal steps, her dad is retired from govt job so he might have time and energy to pursue these cases, however i do not think she would be able to invest time and energy in court proceedings etc , if it will hamper her job.

Actually we met through matrimony site and hardly know much about their family and backgrounds, we just went to the face value and parents thought we both work in same industry so we will gel nicely with each other and went ahead with the relation.

I will not give a single penny to them as I have always bowed down in past to make things work but my nice nature was always misued. I would have given if I or my family would have been at fault. So no quesion of succumbing.

 

deep (deep)     15 August 2015

Read section 12 hma

Born Fighter (xxx)     15 August 2015

Sumit,

Getting your wife income statement in IT Company is damn easy. If you need any help send me PM.

Secondly keep it simple.....ask for MCD......Your wife is stubborn and exteremely pampered by her parents (isnt it ?) . Massage her ego citing her advantages of MCD for her to live a better life and get rid of her. Any unnecessary high handedness from your end will hurt her negative ego and will lead to litigations. Tell her we both are different as a reason for MCD rather than saying you will get nothing if she goes to court etc.....hope you get what im saying.

Sumit Singh   15 August 2015

Hi Bron Fighter,

Thanks a Ton. Surely I will trouble you in case they don't go for MCD. and you are absolutely correct about the situation, yes I understand what you are trying to convey. You have judged the situation perfectly.


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