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Shruthy A.R. (Lecturer)     27 July 2013

Mental harassment

I am 26 yrs old, a lecturer in mysore n got married to 30 yrs old mr. x, bangalore 2 1/2 months ago bt i was with my husband only for a month. My husband is not interested in s*x not even in love & affection he cally it silly. on our 1st night he said he is like ram n dont have expirience so wil learn slowly. He travells daily 70 km to his office the weird thing is he changed his work 20 days prior to marriage but before he was working near to his place only. after work he goes to gym n comes home at 8;30. every night he gives the reason that he his tired n sleeps off. we hvnt been to honey moon also. sometimes he blames my body weight for not doing s*x properly and this was told by his mother itself. i am 60 kgs n  5". his mom lied about his salary. v both r christians bt now they r telling to follow hinduism as well which i cant. my in laws were asking for house, land, gold for their son n car but i used to ignor later they were saying that it was jus a joke. there family principle is limit talk, limit food n limit love. but mine is a very big family. they were always giving me old n spoilt food. the whole marriage expenses was bourne by my parents. i came to mysore for my exams n shared it with my parents n they spoke with his parents bt soon they got angry n said me not come home as they dont want me n if i come his mom said she wil kill me. i waited for 20 days n went to his house with parents but they pushed us out with all my belongings. then we went to police station there front of police they came for compromise then i came home as ashada was going on but after that neither call nor message frm my husband. every day i am messaging my husband to come n take me home but he is not ready n asks me only to go there alone. my family is not alloed to step inside his house n he will also never come to mysore itseems. i have all the bills and his sms as proof.  they are not ready for any family panchayat n counselling. they dont have contact with there relatives n always tell me not to allow my family n relatives home. they hate my family. my husband is black mailing me that if i go to police again he wil become saint. n he sms me to end up n move on. his dad is a heart patient. he shouts n speak always but front of police he holds his chest n sits off.  frm 2 months i am sitting at home. i am confused dont know what to do. plz guide n help me out. my whole family is telling to sue case, leave him n move on. bt i want to save my marriage because for me its not a childs play n  i have a younger sister.


 21 Replies

Anvesh Yadav (not working)     27 July 2013

Dear shruthy iam anvesh yadav , im not a advocate but im also the victiim liike yours but it is quite different from my situation , my wife is also very rude she is very mean she has expelled me from our rental house , lastly i filed a petition for divorce  and case is subjudice in delhi court, 


Do one thing go to CAW tht is crime against women cell in your area and file a complian against your in laws and ur hubby and file a 498a case with ur complain and also file a RCR tht is right to conjugal rights in court and see dear i know it is very difficult to handle this situation like u hve youger sis but like this if u want lead ur marriage life wiht ur hubby like this then their is no sense of meaning to lead ur mariage life...ur parents are right just move on.

i also said in the court in front of judge that  it is better to send me jail . or give permission to suicide but i dont  want to stay with this lady (my wife) she is blackmailing me bcoj im from air force and im also the single son of my parents.


further ur wish and consult with ur  parents wht to do.... 

1 Like

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     27 July 2013

@shruthy A.R.

For me, it appears that your parents' advice is proper.  You cannot live happily with him any further due to his attitude.  You have got two options.  If he agrees (it appears so), go for mutual consent divorce and you will get divorce just after six months.  You also try to get back marriage expenses by mutual understanding and move on in life.  But you will be called divorcee and it causes difficulty to get further marriage prospects.  Otherwise, you can file marriage annulment petition on the ground of husband's impotency.  Then, the marriage will be dissolved.  In the eyes of law, if the marriage annulment decree is passed, You are no more divorcee and you will be spinster, as if marriage had never happened.  If you think that your legal proceedings will hamper the prospects of your younger sister, then just wait till her marriage happened and proceed later on with any of the above two options.

1 Like

R.K Nanda (Advocate)     27 July 2013

file petition for annulment of ur marriage as u had no s*x with ur husband after ur marriage.


and marriage without s*x is curse and biggest mental torture.

1 Like

R.K Nanda (Advocate)     27 July 2013

file petition for annulment of ur marriage as ur marriage is not consumated.

marriage without s*x is curse and biggest mental torture.

1 Like

stanley (Freedom)     27 July 2013

Mutual consent Divorce is the best option rather than fighting cases in court for years. There is no law to recover marriage expenses and i dont think so he would agree to give it by Mutual consent . Getting a marriage annualed on grounds of husband's impotency is not easy to prove . since male impotency is determined as a factor where a male is unable to attain and sustain a penile erection . In some cases a male may attain and sustain a penile erection and in some cases may not as it is law of attraction ;) In india Divorcee is not a bad factor nowdays and the rate of divorce has gone up Lastly if you want to save your marriage try getting elders and relatives of your family and get involved with patching up . But as you say you have approached the police station than its a dificult to reconcile .Once a case goes to court or a police station the marriage is over .

1 Like


@ Anvesh Yadav,

What are you suggesting her

Get lodge a 498a case as he is not having s*x with her. Your are wrongly  footed.No law is there in world which says to have s*x without consent of each other.

Dear victim Wife,

As per the rest experts it's wisely suggested to opt for divorce as there is no life in this marriage. You can live inside his home but not in his heart.

court can give order for settlelemnt or may ask each other to live peacefully,but no judge is going to see at night that wether they are sleeping together or not,they are having gud time or not. So,it's only waste of your youth and money along with disturbance to your own parents. Go for divorce either MCD or contested and seek the alimony and lead a peaceful life ahead.

One question to you?

Do you think that your marriage been occured after so many difficulties or after supressing some facts to the boys side?

If not then plz remove the negativity that I couldn't be married further. Then see you will definately jump for the divorce and leaving him to gather some more pounds of weight on his chest and you will realize that your decision to leave him was the best.




A sufferer.........

1 Like

Shruthy A.R. (Lecturer)     29 July 2013

thanks for ur advice & suggestions. the major problem is tat they are not ready for any family panchayat or counselling as they dont want any outsiders including my own family. my marriage has nt been occured after any difficulties or after supressing any facts to my husband n his family infact they hav cheated us supressing the true facts & this is told by their own relatives. even their relatives are ready to support me. my own husband is telling that i should not dream for kid as he wil not evn touch me n my fmly is dead to him as v doubted on his manhood. the doubt started due to his parents only as they were always telling him not to do any tuff work n take rest as he is little weak & its due to a operation with regard to urine problem in childhood. he is not evn ready to come n take me home instead he is telling to cum alone or make my lfe in mysore. i hav all his sms as proof.

Ms.Nirmala P.Rao (CEO)     14 September 2013

Dear Client


                 File a petition for  annulment of marriage on the ground of non consummation of marriage as it is totally void and also in the same petition claim exemplary damages against your hubby for intentionally inflicting emotional distress.


Ms.Nirmala P.Rao

Legal Expert




You both need marriage counseling. That's a must for you. Don't start any of the legal proceedings as of now. Once you start it, the marriage will be broken for sure. I suggest you try to save the marriage as much as you can before proceeding legally.

Its very easy to get into legal web but it creates an uncompromising atmoshere between the two of you. I don't go into the details whether that kind of adamant behavior is good or bad but it is you who has to carefully gauge the marital life with your spouse and then act accordingly especially when it is a short lived marriage like yours. Give your marriage some more time.

I would also suggest you incase if the smooth talks doesn't work and the ego's are not subdued , then you may file for legal separation. But this you should think only after confirming with a doctor that your husband is not impotent or not interested in s*x or xyz . merely not being interested in s*x during the initial days of marriage doesn't make your husband impotent. 

legal separation gives you ample time for both of you to understand your priorities in life. Once a divorce is taken then no parent/sibling can rescue you. It is the same you who has to lead a miserable life amongst those relatives who are now suggesting you to separate. Also I don't suggest you to suffer in the hands of your husband because you got a sister. Forget about all these factors and decide for yourself whether you have given your best to change your hubby or not.

Use the brahmastra(498a etc) only after your chances of reconciliation are negligible.

PS: After marriage no parent/sibling is above your spouse. keep the ego out of the bucket. Your husband will realize for sure and if doesn't then you are free to carry on with any of your weapons.

Shruthy A.R. (Lecturer)     30 November 2013

IPC DP Act  498a, 323, 343 & 4

I hav filed a case on my husband n his family under the above mentioned sections on september 2nd.. I waited for my husband for 3 months but he dint come so i only went to his house but i was shocked as he was converted to islam. my parents n relatives questioned him, mean while due to arguments it ended with a fight which took us to police station. SI told that a day before my husband complained that my dad assaulted him n his house bt the truth was i alone had been to his house but dint lodge any complaint. he was trying to compromise issue through mutual consent. later my husband n his parents came to station with the doctor certificate as a proof that he his not impotent n also a certificate for injury due to my dad.  i was leterally shocked that he was so very well planned n had prepared himself. mean while my brother-in-law assaulted my dad n sister front of the police n they were hospitalised. Only after that I filed FIR. but the police told me to write that his brother assualted in his house insted of police station n they arrested him n my husband too. we were from mysore had no contact in bangalore. things happened which v dint expect n we dint know what to do. The next day they were released on bail. but his family were not arrested on the grounds of 498a case. they said it wil take 3 months n yesterday the charge sheet is been put but we have'nt got the cc yet . we dont know about the proceedure also. from 3 months no message from my husband. mean while he came for compromise through his relatives but it dint work as he was ready to take me along with him only after me taking back the complaint. my relatives are suggesting to file domestic voilence n matainance along with divorce.. is it right? are the police supporting them?

Please do help me to fight for my justic and guide me.. please...



Shruthy A.R. (Lecturer)     30 November 2013

Sir kindly read about me frm the first. From june i am suffering n in touch with this forum.. I got married in may n soon after a month i was sent to my mothers house the reason behind this is was dowry n mental harrasments. My marriage is not yet consummated.. Please dont judge with out knowing the the history n true facts.. Women are killed by MEN killing is an offence. Its a life. Please respect women n a human life.. Thank u sir..



If you can go to the previous page of your own query, thats good enough for you to know that I read your query completely. For once I had sympathy for you but you lost it when you chose to put a false case. You were not ill-treated because you couldnt bring car or whatever, In your first write-up you said it was meant to be a joke and you went on your own will for exams. You spoke some non-sense and then both families had ego clashes. After that police complaints etc.., where is the dowry demand?

You should have filed an annulment case and got rid of him. Isn't it cruel on your part to do all this stuff? You have so many options in law but you still chose to harass to take your pie. How can I respect woman like you? If you kept your integrity intact, then that's a different question right!!! anyway good luck.

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     30 November 2013


Engage a good advocate in Bangalore and fight the cases on merit.  In the meantime, you must also come to definite determination that is it wise to live with such callous fellow, who pretends of converting to muslim religion to negate his marriage and who beats your kith in the police station and blames on your relatives for manhandling him and fabricate false certificates.  If you have any further legal questions, I suggest you to post your querries on "experts" forum, where you will get pointed and brief replies without inviting acerbic comments.

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