Joint Custody

@ Author

1. Could you tell us what you understand by "joint custody" ?

2. Did she also thinks the same way as you that instead of two visitation a month "shared parenting" is better for the kid?

3. To the best of tracing its history in Indian Judiciary I came across only one case; that of HC from Orissa. I suppose there may be few more but from trial Courts side whose records are tough to dig.

BTW, money is important in terms of long term welfare of a child from broken home but plays a secondary role in "joint paraneting programs"!.

PS.: I asked para 1 to know your understanding of a alien subject in Indian Judiciary as it will be you who is going to make it happen, right ! I may help you refine it.

Thank you.

Thanks a lot for your inputs.

with joint custody i mean shared parenting. more time with my child so she also have attachment with me. with visitation right i just end up to be a visitor and not a father.

May be at a letter stage i will like that i also get equal time of parenting. something that my daughter can stay with me as well say a week a month. i drop her to school and everything.

i want something that she feels she has a father, who is there for her for everything and fulfill all her desires

Kindly help me. may be i will also like t o have custody of her, at this stage it would be difficult to get custody.

I am in Delhi, do advise me your contact no. as well

@ Author

[so u online to make prompt revert]

1. Where your wife and daughter lives?
2. How old is yoru daughter?
 

one more thing, individually i am more capable than my wife in terms of finances but that that has been downplayed due to maintenance case.

For me i can give everything to daughter but not under court direction but in a healthy relation, wherein my daughter knows what her father is doing for her otherwise my wife will be poisioning her

both of us stay in delhi- 35 kms apart, she is dwarka and i am in vasundhra enclave

my daughter is 15 months and i have seen her just once, she just wants to snatch her from me. she was not willing to show her to me but she was forced by court. i doubt she will let me have visitation rights specially after she gets money

@ Author

I am making here second time rare exception to post more than my allotted bandwiddth on a post. However let it be so here are set of que. to understand both of your situation in better light;


1. Is your wife working? What are her working hrs.? What is your wife’s immediate family structure consists of who are living in same place where your daughter lives?
2. Do you have female(s) as relative at home where you live?
3. Are the female(s) in your home healthy?
4. Do in your relations (your brother / sister / aunt / uncle) any child of your daughter's age group (more or less)?
5. Do these children as asked in para 4 living in NCR of Delhi?
7. Any Guardianships petition filed by either party till date? Which other Sections of Law if any other cases pending between you two?
8. The case of S. 125 CrPC I suppose is at Dwarka Courts?
9. Are you aware of CRISP? SIF Delhi weekend meetings?
10. Is there a problem for you in shifting to Dwarka temporarily?
11. Where in NCR your workplace is?
12. How many years and steps you are ready to walk through to have either “shared parenting” and or “pmt. Custody”? Which among these two is more important to you from beginning to end given to understand next 16 years?


Take your time and you may reply next to above paras for better cross recall. BTW keep your emotions out of replies to above as with 'emotions' and 'politics' only women can miserably win to loose to win to loose court cases in introspection not men can afford to!

1. Is your wife working? What are her working hrs.? What is your wife’s immediate family structure consists of who are living in same place where your daughter lives? SHE CALIMS SHE'S NOT WORKING, BUT BY KARKARDOOMA COURT IN HER SEC 24 SHE HAS BEEN FOUND ABLE BODIED HAVING EARNING CAPACITY. EVEN IN 125 SETTLEMENT FOR DIVORCE THE JUDGE REFUSED TO GRANT ANYTHING FOR HERSELF. NOW I THINK SHE WILL WORK. SHE USED TO WOK IN BPO IN PAST AND DO NIGHT DUTIES. IN HER FAMILY SHE HAS RETIRED FATHER AILING MOTHER AND A BROTHER WHO IS SINGLE. HER SISTER MARRIED 2 MONTHS BACK
2. Do you have female(s) as relative at home where you live? I HAVE MY MOTHER
3. Are the female(s) in your home healthy? SHE IS HAVING LAST STAGE CANCER. I DONT KNOW HOW LONG SHE WILL SURVIVE
4. Do in your relations (your brother / sister / aunt / uncle) any child of your daughter's age group (more or less)? MY COUSIN'S DAUGHTER IS 7-8 MONTHS OLD
5. Do these children as asked in para 4 living in NCR of Delhi? SHE IS PATNA
7. Any Guardianships petition filed by either party till date? Which other Sections of Law if any other cases pending between you two? NO GUARDIANSHIP. DIVORCE UNDER 13 IA IS PENDING IN KARKARDOOMA. THEY HAVE APPLIED SEC 24 IN THAT AS WELL. PLUS THEY HAVE FILED FOR EXECUTION FOR SEC 24 JUDGEMENT FROM KARKARDOOMA WHICH WAS GIVEN IN MY RCR PETITION. SHE REMAINED ADAMAND THAT SHE DOESNOT WANT TO STAY WITH ME
8. The case of S. 125 CrPC I suppose is at Dwarka Courts? YES
9. Are you aware of CRISP? SIF Delhi weekend meetings? NOPES
10. Is there a problem for you in shifting to Dwarka temporarily? I CANT DO NOW DUE TO MOTHER'S ILLNESS
11. Where in NCR your workplace is? I WORK FROM HOME, MOSTLY 10 HOURS A WEEK
12. How many years and steps you are ready to walk through to have either “shared parenting” and or “pmt. Custody”? Which among these two is more important to you from beginning to end given to understand next 16 years? 4-6 YEARS I AM WILLING TO WAIT FOR PERMANENT CUSTODY AND 2-4 YEARS FOR SHARED PARENTING (FOR START OF THIS). I AM READY TO HAVE SHARED PARENTING FOR WHOLE LIFE

ONE MORE POINT; THIS IS MY WIFE'S SECOND MARRIAGE. SHE HAD A 9 MONTHS MARRIAGE EARLIER WHEREIN SHE HAD FILED 498A, 406, DOWRY AND SHE FILED THE SAME AGAINST ME AS WELL. WE HAD A 6 MONTHS MARRIAGE

IN MY FAMILY I HAVE A YOUNGER BROTHER WHO IS A QUALIFIED DOCTOR

@ Author

Kindly read below with patience without being judgmental about the whole scenarios emerging out;


The bad part:
1. The daughter is too young to be thought as yet under the "shared parenting plan" till she goes to play school which is years away.
Reasoning:
In USA, Pacific rim and Europe and in many other countries "parenting plan" are in-things for infants to about to become major kind(s). In India we are trying level (our colly.) best to wake the Judiciary up on the benefits of shared parenting and trial Courts whom we getting to know have given just tiny bit of relief’s to fathers but lots to do till like @ Hema tells me to become MP so it is a long chappal walk to the well of Parliament ha ha


2. You have a 'duty' tied up for sometime to fulfill to leave it mid way; ref. to your mother's illness believing you are the only caretaker of her at home !
Reasoning:
Balancing duty to parents on one side and love and emotions for your own child on other scale makes you stay for sometime at a mid-level spot which is neither down nor up.


3. You are aware of CRISP as well as SIF otherwise you would not have commented about these two ORG. in Suresh BLR DV Dharna post !
Reasoning:
I asked so bze you should know our work on shared parenting and on child custody to fathers based on above 5 years child’s natural guardian is father point of Law which we are reminding Judiciary about.



4. I recall your other two posts where you had apprehension of her real motives on MCD deal with 7 L or 11 L clubbed with addendum revelation that she already has a good taste of criminal Law by which I mean to express your saga is not going to be a easy walk.
Reasoning:
She is holding the Club of Ace i.e. your daughter and playing with your emotions.


5. You have to refuse the MCD deal and opt for longer innings in court.
Reasoning:
Even if you are man of means and may afford 11 L for MCD still the child will remain a trump card between parents by which child will be used under change of circumstances and your ATM card swiped again and again which in longer run will make you unhappy with the whole situation.
I also suppose she is also no more Ms. Dwarka with one bag of crl. cases on first husband behind and now with you from 15 months second innings....so what you are are going to loose to win to loose more than her and her environs of social circle which will ask her more than you some ? marks.........


The good part:

1. You can Execute the visitation Order granted in your favor and begin visitation accordingly.
Reasoning:
Once you do not agree for 7 L based MCD the interim Order on visitation will stay as far as child visitation goes irrespective of Court and or under which Section it was passed and it can always be Executed be it so the main petition is withdrawn and or dismissed at any stage. This is the Law on visitation which are always interim till 18 years.


2. You can make an effort to think to shift yourself and your mother temp. to Dwarka when child is reaching play school age which like I suggested is years away.
Reasoning:
Your mother’s medical needs can always be looked after by shifting to any part of NCR as now some of the best Onco. Hospitals are available almost at every Districts of Delhi. The other reason is psychology of mother when they feel father is getting too near to child and you will see a sea change in her actions when she sees you in Dwarka which is her sides home turfs! In the art of (family) Law war it is seen that it is always advantageous to enter opponents strong hold and just stay there and Family war are not won by making a proxy standing defense positions ever. That is also the reaosn I say here RCR is the weakest defense of a husband as seen in most of the cases if not supported with other field pawns (read as counter cases) movements. 


3. Suggested to file a Guardianship with Visitation petition in Family Court. You will get visitation as interim relief.
Reasoning:
Any court at later point of time will ask you why now you are filing for custody and showing all your emotions for which you may not have convincing answers at that point as anyhow Courts play with cards of sob sob of mother more than a MAN as man is manly as always is generic view even in the eyes of best of Lordships at point of time. Second reason is some activity on part of father needs to be really show caused before court on his genuine intention for custody and or visitation as soon as the child removed from his / her original residence jurisdiction. In your case I believe the child was living with you in your place before the child was removed to DWK? Or was it that the child was born at mother’s Jurisdiction and initially never shown to you and later some activity happened (I am sorry I slipped ot ask where the child was born!)


4. You are man of means hence with security of money you can contest cases to its natural end easily balancing visitation and more visitation to begin with clubbed with looking after ailing mother at home.
Reasoning:
Given to understand the only female in your home being not healthy clubbed with childs age and further thought from adamant Judicial wisdom you need to build up a case for shared visitation by showing your long term intentions and some of the ways are mentioned in ‘The good parts’


6. You may encourage your Dr. brother to think of marriage as a healthy women at home is tiny bit of reassurance to play perception before Bench.
Reasoning:
Your immediate family needs a healthy lady at home to look after the family as a family with her touch and indirectly help you in bringing later a tiny girl child at a HOME.

7. With results from Guardianship petition you can be trained on the lines of “shared parenting” by the time child comes to play school. 
Reasoning:
I try to say things in straight wordings if it hurts you then do think about it but then you do not have much of options so let us train the trainer ha ha


All the best.
PS: We will meet one day.

Pls advise me ur no. it would be better to discuss on phone

my no. 8826466665 my email id praveen.omm@gmail.com

@ Author

Last posting from my end.

I suppose you might have heard a Aussie saying No chicken, no curry, no hurry no worry J
Illustration:
I will give you no. of a friend of mine from West Delhi. His Delhi based Dr. wife left at  THC her 1. 3 months old daughter and less than 3 yrs. old son to take care by my friend just nearly 3 weeks ago last month. It was the happiest bolt out of the sky we are still reeling under not only unexpectly that we got the kids but it was not the fault of kids to be abandoned in Court campus when parents unfortunately contesting various cases in Courts. Suggested to his Dr. wife no. of times if she have any plans to give kids then give in hospitable environs, but she never listened it up. The first two days the daughter did not eat nor drank anything and she never came down from bosoms of her dadi , old age dadi’s left arm got swollen holding the baby for nearly three full days; she neither could eat nor could even go to loo to brush up, we all did not sleep and were on watch 24X7 literally these two days. The son was breaking anything he can lay hands in the home showing his anger on himself that it was because of him parents are separated. The father friend of mine working at one of the best IT company in GGN earning nearly 1.45 L was asked to leave the cushion job. Borrowed 2 L to cap this family for next 3 months as financial support to startup afresh a family. All crl. and civil cases are still bleeding hot in various Courts at THC. At present all immediate three affected persons are happy and on two recent occasions I visited them to check heath situations of kids primarily and as soon as I enter the lane of their home I can hear loud playful sounds of all three with dadi and dada playing like heaven in disguise.

So never loose hope but do ave divine patience. 

Hi TajobsIndia,

My only fear is that after i give money she will not allow  me to have easy access to my child and i would be doing rounds of courts again. In that case it would be a foolish decision to pay upfront. I dont mind keep on paying under 125CrPC(I hope I can make a point that the upbringing cost should be borne equally and court should allow that). In this case i dont pay 7 lacs. I have to pay maintenance under sec-24 (they claim at Rs. 1,77 lacs, Rs. 7.5 for wife till 6 months after delivery and 7.5 k for child. judge has said clearly that wife is able bodied and no maintenance after 6 months). I had withdrawn the case on 7th july 2010 and on that day the judge on chair had said that the maintenance if any would be payable till 7th july only. the case was finally disposed off on 8th april 2011 and i did mention that to the new judge and he wrote that we have to say that the maintenance should be payable till 7th july but did not gave his decision. will i have to pay till 7th july only or till 8th april 2011. her 125 CrPC was filed on 15th sept. now i hope i have lower quantum due to changed scenario. 

my first visit to daughter would be on 12th june 2011, if she refuses me access then i have a right to backoff from settlement? right

on what other grounds i can backoff from settlement without giving any bad impression about myself to court. the reason is simple when i pay monthly i get access to daughter and if im not allowed access to daughter i can approach court for cancellation of maintenance. this way i can splurge more on daughter and in todays world way to show love is splurging. i hope u agree.

i also wanted a slight amendment in the settlement if i go ahead with that 1) I deserve the right to approach to court for custody of child at a later stage in changed circumstances. i will definitely file custody when she is 4 years 2)for the FD my wife is guardian and nominee. i am okay with her guardianship but I dont want her to be nominee. let any trust be the nominee. How can I get this amendment done?