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Esra` (Manager)     03 August 2013

Immunity from in-laws

I need your inputs on the below.
 
My wife and I had a very happy marriage and are blessed with a cute little angel. The baby is 8 months old.
 
Recently my in-laws visited me with their other 2 daughters and there was a misunderstanding between my wife and me on a petty issue running on TV. My wife decided to go home on sunday night with her parents after physically assaulting me and hurling insults at me. When I asked her to return the same night, she asked me to talk to her father. My FIL said that things are at an extreme and he wanted to put an end to it.
 
Point to note is my baby is still nursing on her mother. The baby also had a fit of cold and suffered the whole night because she was away. I pleaded with her and my in-laws to keep the baby with them and that we wouldsort matters out later. However, it did not help.
 
Also,noteworthy is my FIL had earlier beat me up on the 4th day of my baby being born at his house and we walked out from there. this is the first time my in-laws have visited after 8 months. My wife had returned from her place the following evening and is with the baby now.
 
Each time my in-laws come home, there is a fight of some nature. my wife says I do not respect her parents and picks up fights with me.
 
I do not want my in-laws to disturb me or ever visit me. Is there a way this can be arranged.
 
I want to live with my wife forever, but the moment her parents are in the picture, life becomes so difficult.
 
She even chose to abandon her baby for the parents. I want to know if at all they push for a divorce by mutual consent, Do i stand a chance with the custody of the baby,

 

I'm broken and shattered.Needyour guidance.



Learning

 10 Replies


(Guest)

Custody of baby you wont get until your wifey agrees to give it to you.  Accoring to law, baby fit with mother until it has grown up.  At the most you will get visitation rights.



Esra` (Manager)     03 August 2013

Thanks helping hand for your reply.

I want the more critical question answered as divorce will only be last resort and if at allmy wife pushes for that.

the critical question being, can I stop my in-laws from visiting us. Can that be arranged legally or through a complaint. I'm sure this will not go down too well with my wife.But,I married my wife not my in-laws. I cant carry them on my shoulders. I will do that only I wish to. i'm not bound to I suppose. Correct me if I'm wrong.

adv.raghavan (Advocate,9444674980)     03 August 2013

if u still love ur wife and willing to cohabite with her , then file RCR undr HMA 1955.  if she is willing to for divorce  as the situation prevails it cannot be MCD until u give concurrence, it will be under section 13 only, it will be  a long drawn battle to sort out issues.

Esra` (Manager)     03 August 2013

Hi Raghavan,

Many Thanks. I am a Christian, so do I still fall under the purview of the HMA?? Might be a noob question, but I don't know these things.

I only have a marriage certificate issued by the Church.

adv.raghavan (Advocate,9444674980)     03 August 2013

you are governed by indian chirstian  marriage act 187 & indian divorce act 1869, pls clarify on earlier occasions   had she applied divorce under these acts. if so rvt to us will guide u properly.

Esra` (Manager)     03 August 2013

She hasnt applied for divorce on any occasion.

But every time we have an argument of some sort and it ends up that she doesnt have her way, she threatens with divorce. I then appease her for the sake of my child. She uses profanity of the highest order maligning me,my parents,sisters and then returns to normalcy. I tried to reason with her but to no avail. Her only definition of a happy marriage is for me to please her parents and be nice to them and her 9 year old sister.

This time round, she is motivated by her parents encouragement of a divorce or whatever they are suggesting (too difficult for me to comprehend a thing that can be attractive to a mother vis-a-vis being with her suckling baby).

I am firm to making my marriage work but I'm sure the dirty issue of having to please her parents will resurface each time they visit us. I want to ut a fullstop to them visiting us.


(Guest)

 

Originally posted by : Esra`

She hasnt applied for divorce on any occasion.

But every time we have an argument of some sort and it ends up that she doesnt have her way, she threatens with divorce. I then appease her for the sake of my child. She uses profanity of the highest order maligning me,my parents,sisters and then returns to normalcy. I tried to reason with her but to no avail. Her only definition of a happy marriage is for me to please her parents and be nice to them and her 9 year old sister.

This time round, she is motivated by her parents encouragement of a divorce or whatever they are suggesting (too difficult for me to comprehend a thing that can be attractive to a mother vis-a-vis being with her suckling baby).

I am firm to making my marriage work but I'm sure the dirty issue of having to please her parents will resurface each time they visit us. I want to ut a fullstop to them visiting us.

Repetitive actions like this will one day lead to filing for divorce.


Your thoughts are noble.


But in the real world, once if you get fed up of her ways and want to flie divorce it will attract many a false cases, maintenance cases etc.  If she is willing to file divorce petition, let her file, you will get divorce easily as she herself has filed for divorce.


Women like these who dance to the tunes of their mothers never grow up and ultimately make you a jhoru ka ghulaam.  Convincing her not to be like this is different, but she is of the kind who wants a hold no everything you do, and so are your in-laws.


Make firm mind, to leave her, if she tell I will file divorce, let her file.


Or 


Second option, stop crying, do what your in-laws want you to do, do what your wife wants you to do.  Be happy.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Esra`

Thanks helping hand for your reply.

I want the more critical question answered as divorce will only be last resort and if at allmy wife pushes for that.

the critical question being, can I stop my in-laws from visiting us. Can that be arranged legally or through a complaint. I'm sure this will not go down too well with my wife.But,I married my wife not my in-laws. I cant carry them on my shoulders. I will do that only I wish to. i'm not bound to I suppose. Correct me if I'm wrong.

There is something called as decency, IN-Laws cannot thrust themselves upon you.  A decent talk would be more apt, asking them not to viist frequently.


If dont care about decency and want to stoop to their level., file a police complaint against your FIL, MIL stating that they create nuisance by standing and shouting in front of your house and threaten to beat you up.

shriks........... (healyhcare)     03 August 2013

1. in my school days one guy bashed me up he used to do it often........i started crying as i was weak......one old lady was watching this scene.....she came close to me and said..."do not sit and cry.....give a beating for a beating....."
2. i got up he punched me , kicked me......at least i managed to break his nose.........
3. after that he never fought with me ever..........
moral of the story:-     ..................................you are clever enough to understand....


4. recently after 20 yrs we met in fly court.......he came for DV against his wife and i smiled........

Esra` (Manager)     03 August 2013

Thanks all. 


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