thanx for ur advice
first of all let me ans ur Qs....being a girl frm a middle class family with values i wz alwz adviced by my family to adjust to whatever the extent may be. the main reason waz his family who played a major role in our life and till now its going on which is impossible to digest for any third person.there are some people who remain like this for the whole life and its nt so easy to understand the pain n sufferings which i have undergone for these long yrs n still tolerating.
in ur profession u may be coming in contact with so many a cases so u said me that this is my anger and grudge and about human nature but the thing is he has made me to suffer a lot on every level ..social.emotional n financial .in order to save his skin he has told evrybody that i have left him whereas the reality is its opp.i have tried a lot to settle the things but all in vain.n now in present circumstances its impossible to settle down with him as i m scared of my life and aboveall he has relation with another lady too .
secondly i didnt want my kids to see this phase of separation so i contd with him under one roof.he waz very ruthless n abusive n violent not towards me but towards the kids also.as a result kids were also suffering along with. can u imagine he is not in speaking terms with my kids since 10yrs.i sacrificed my whole life for my kids n had a great hope that one day he will realise n everything will be okay but it wz in vain.now he wants my kids to leave me n thus break me on this front becz he knows that i cant stay without kids so he said me to be separate for 3-4 months but it wz his plan which i cudnt understand at that time.but 3-4 months became yrs .its nt possible to pen down evrything but in short i have tried.i do understand words carry different meanings everytime u go through them so u have concluded from my words which may not have that much impact on u to show how much painful my life is ,may b i m nt so very nice when it comes to writing.
yes u r rt my kids r grown up n elder1 is married n i m facing problem from my daughter in law also who is slowly diverting my son towards my husband becz of his money n property .she has made it very much clear.i have never used my kids against their father and didnt tell anything instaed about what happened in my life but when they started seeing things themselves ,problems increased.
i tried all efforts to in the beginning but he kept on still abusing n harrassing me n indirectly closing my ways to go back to him.now he has changed his tactic by saying that he is ready to keep me with him n i am not ready.he is in govt job n i have nt taken any undue advantage of anything .i mean ladies often misuse the rules which are made in their favour but its my bad luck that being so very true n still he is proving me culprit everywhere even in my kid's eyes.what can be more painful for a mother .i am emotionally broken up n the way he has given this 15k ,i had to undergo haraassment for evrything.
and now if i want that he should also be punished ,what wrong i am doing?i would have forgotten all those yrs of pain if he had nt contd in this period.so if u advice me some ways so that he dont get divorce ,i willl be so grateful to u.no woman wants to break her house but when nothing happens n everything goed beyond control,what can be done?
kindly try to understand my problem. one of the reason that my elder son's matter .if he had nt tried to take backdoor entry in my son's life ,i wud have settled evrything but now he will make my condition more miserable n i cant tolerate to die every inch then.4yrs is long span n he wants to get married to that woman with whom he is having relations since yrs.
most imp thing i have been informed about his divorce case n he has said the date is 12th jan.what does it mean?i know nothing abt any such thing n now my question is if any notice comes ..should i take or delay it.
plz advice me n the ways atleast what should i do to avoid divorce .hope u will try to see the pain through which my life has gone .
thanx n regards
plz forgive me if u feel bad about my words sometimes it becomes very difficult to convey through words.