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Ananthanarayanan (Individual)     02 July 2010

Husband not caring

A wedding was solemnised by end of 2008; in early 2009, husband seeks a transfer to a different place citing health reasons to his employers without the knowledge of wife who is also employed--the health reasons were not referred to before marriage.

The husband and his parents not taking the wife and daughter-in-law (respectively) into confidence and deciding things on their own and acting according to their wish; whenin the wife is shelling out a sizable amount for the family every month.

The wife is harassed at the time of leaving for office, advised not to use social networks such as orkut, discouraged to talk with her parents, forced to sleep only after late nights, expected to do all household chorus and on top of all should be pateint to the abuses by husband.

Since late 2009, the husband stays at a different place quoting job requirements (it is mere adjustment with the employer) and finally got it as permenant posting without the knowledge of wife.  The wife was abused and harassed over phone and was mentally forced, to stay out of the house at her place.

The husband did not even visit his wife even when she met with a minor accident and canvalescing.  There were attempts to tamper her maid id and abusive and provocative  phone calls from the husband  

The wife is now staying separately in a rented house, taking her mother as an escort; as such, forced to take her belongings from the husband's custody (from his house where they were living together) and the husband released them on written acknowledgment.

Meanwhile, he visited his wife after making phone calls from the door steps of her place of stay without even giving her time to think.

Now, the husband wants (demands) the wife at his place of working  and join him quoting her commitments to him as his wife morally and legally.

Please guide how to handle the case.




 7 Replies

Bobby Mani T (Lawyer)     02 July 2010

a few questions before i answer this doubt

1. how are you conected to this wife ? are you father of the bride or just friend ?

2. whether she (The bride) wants to join her husband ?

3. Are inlaws making things worse ?

4. What prevents you from approching Family court seeking divorce ?

Geet (cse)     03 July 2010

IF your are family of family frd.

Try to make the Man the sit around face to face with the female involved here in the presence of her parents and if possiable his parents too..but thats not nessary .Probably the man is a victim of  force due to his parents.

Please find out if there is physical harresment .If the woman staying on rental basis has moved on her own accord or her husband has forced(or mutualy decided ) to stay in a seprate place (Que is why did she not go to parents place rather took rental coz, she is more sequre  with parents.

Waiting is better . Seems like this man is in to some thing ..he wants his wife to start the family ...and since now he is alone wants stay with her and start a family...thats why all this force to join him quoting her commitments to him as his wife morally and legally.

If things worsen then approach Court to either bring in peace or seek permant solution.

God bless every one involved.

1 Like

Uma parameswaran (lawyer)     03 July 2010

There is a new moon for every full moon. Try to settle the matter amicably.The problems arises in the dawn of the marriage life is common.It is the time to understand each other and to adjust with each other. First try to under stand yourself.Find out your fault. There are many things in life to achieve.Life is not ending with marriage.Find out your time for good things .Try your level best .If you are thinking 100% failure try to apart each other.

1 Like

Dharmesh Manjeshwar (Advocate/Lawyer)     03 July 2010

 ...........  '' and the husband released them on written acknowledgment '' ............ could you please tell us what this was ........

Here it seems that the husband is very sure that the wife will not come to stay with him which consequently might end up in divorce ............. maybe he wants a mutual consent divorce ......

What makes the wife so adamant that she needs the job but not the husband ?????? could be the fault of both of them but the crux is do they want to live with each other as husband or wife or not ....... it has to be decided only by them ..... as nobody has talked about going to court ..... there could be a way out for them amicably but it depends only on their decision ........


Ananthanarayanan (Individual)     04 July 2010

The wife, from the very first salary of hers since marriage, advised by her mother-in-law to share the expenses @50-50 with her husband; where is the question of leaving the job?

Ananthanarayanan (Individual)     04 July 2010

I am a well wisher of the girl and the family.

The wife wants to live with the husband; however, with out any trauma.

Parents-in-law (of the wife) are also contributing.

The wife remembers the nice times of her life with her husband and further feels that divorce is not the only way out. 

Ananthanarayanan (Individual)     04 July 2010

As the girl is employed and her parents are away, she moved to a paying guest accommodation first; geeting out of the house was her reaction and was the only option as the husband used very hurt and abusive language.  As there were no positive signs of reunion, parents decided to escort her in a rented house.

The husband now is living with his parents (joined them) in a different station. 

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