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Ashok (Personal)     15 December 2013

Help on divorce

Hello Experts, Thank god I got a place where I can shout out my Issue.

We have been married for 2years and 2 Months in which my wife was almost at her parents place for almost one and half year. And for the past few months she is staying with me. We have one daughter (11 Months) and during her stay with me its been like a hell for me. She always treatens me to kill her self for small reasons and she tried many times and its like a mental torture for me and for my fate she starting treating of killing our daughter. And reasons are not that big,if i talk to my relatives/friends or if I am busy with work not picking her call or not responding her for such reasons. And for every thing she takes my parents in to picture and tells that she will lodge case on them (not on me) for not talking to her (My parents tried many times to be good with her and because of her short temper they are staying away from her). And if we talk to her its like fighting only she never talk normally and other thing is she broke every thing around her. I am desperatly looking for Divorce before any fatal things happens.. Please help me...


 10 Replies

FightforGood (Specialist)     15 December 2013

Dear Ashok,

 Sorry for your current state. As per our Indian FAMILY LAW, married man have freedom to shout BUT ONLY within himself. Without having any proper evidence(even she is trying to kill you), you cannot move a bit to win your case. Divorce is not that easy unless you prove it. You need to provide the reason + evidence on the ground of divorce. Latest/Trendiest Wife wants only the product, not its producers. Those broughtup are the outcome of emerged nuclear families. Unsure about your woman.

 Have you tried to find out why she is behaving like that?. Gone for any counselling?.

FightforGood (Specialist)     15 December 2013

Some questions missed to ask... What sort of case, she is threatening to give on your parents? Did she say anything?. If she file a wrong case, it will backfire her. Dont worry about her threatening at all. 

Only suggestion from my side is, if she is loosing a temper, be calm and record her behavior/actions. You have a child too, lot of things will come into a picture if you go for divorce.

Ashok (Personal)     16 December 2013

Thank you very much for the reply sir...

Have you tried to find out why she is behaving like that?....She is basically of that character from childwood (came to know after spoiling my life)

Gone for any counselling?... She will not agree/shout for that also. She know about her bahaviour and in initial days of marriage she tried with some Yoga stuff

What sort of case, she is threatening to give on your parents? Did she say anything?... She claims that she is being tourtered by my parents for not talking with her and not coming to see the baby. And in the sucide note she will write my parents name it seems..More than half of my married life I am fed up with all this and convensing.

FightforGood (Specialist)     16 December 2013

Dear Ashok,

 I don't think, her suicidal note will help her. Clearly anyone would understand her maturity by that note itself. I hope, your parents are not staying with you. If they are, please move separately from them for sometime. Otherwise, It will harm those innocents

 Firstly, take her out and talk to her and try to explain your state of mind due to her behavior(Dont say Divorce and all). Explain the impact of her attitude which would affect child life too. Ask her why she is threatening of suicide.

 One MUST do, inform her parent about her suicide threatening.

1. Did you talk to their parents and explained her behavior?. If not, pls take that step if she even behaving after your outing and current state. (Keep in mind, Everywhere Don't use Divorce word at all.). Mention them she is threatening you with her said reasons.

 As per LAW, you should complain to nearby police station that she is threatening you on suicide. You should go with evidence. It helps you to talk less. Police will hear everything and take her to woman cell and talk to her. Again they will go for counselling only.

Note: All these actions MUST be recorded. Without evidence, No one can help you when your woman cries that she is innocent. People would simply advice you, its because of Maturing and understanding issue. Will sort out when years passes by.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     16 December 2013

This is a case of over possessiveness and a depression thereon.  This is not a sudden transformation.  Her character should have been the same since her child hood which her parents would not have informed you thinking that it will become alright once she is married. But this is incurable and may grow aggressively as the time passes on.  There are plenty of such cases where the marriages break or being endured silently with pain and humiliations by the victims.  The relief is to get away from this evil forever either legally or other wise (fleeing), but the second option will not possible especially when the parent will be made victims (scape goats).   Better consult a local lawyer and decide about next course of action at the earliest possible.

1 Like

Ashok (Personal)     17 December 2013

@FightForGood:- Sir, its not once or twice I explains her almost once in a week and to be frank have beaten her some times (Not hiding my self) when its really out of my control. My parents wont leave with me infact they met her max 4,5 times after marriage and in the second meet it self we came to know about her behaviour so  I am trying to avoid them meeting frequently (as I told for no reason she shouts, use absue language with my parents. That is the reason I keep them away).She wont think of any impacts or effects on both our families, one thing here is she studied abroad and worked for few years that is one of the reason she dont care family values,no relation ships, no affections nothing.Coming to their parents they are second torture for me, what ever she does they say she is right and I am wrong. And one strange thing is if I say she is threatening about suside, they will say that is how I am taking care of her and they will directly say ok fine let her die. Literally one day in front of them she drank harpic they were saying ok leave her let her die, I was shocked and its her younger brother and me who made her to womit every thing.Divorce, I never started on my own though I am suffering with all this stuff. But in the recent arrguments for every thing she says ok lets take divorce and he parents also support her(from that time even I started divorce topic).Recording I never tried sir, let me do that this time.Yesterday night around 11PM her mother and sister came to my home(Coz I told them I cant handle her any more and I alone want to go to other place) and asking her to come with them leaving kid with me and in the morning they want to lodge complaint on me (Now they started threating on police case). After a lot of struugle in my life I came to a decent position in my professional life, if they do some thing of that sort it will effect my LIFE.

I never told all this to my parents, because they are thining that atleast if they are not speaking to her and her family I am happy with her and I dont want them to bring in to all this, so they are not aware of.

@Kalaiselvan :- That is true sir, we came to after wards that from her childwood she is like that. I am not sure wher my life will end up with. If I want to go also they are not allowing me I can go with out Informing but thinking of my parents.

FightforGood (Specialist)     17 December 2013

Dear Ashok,

 Understood your position completely. Its not possessiveness. Its Adamancy. These girls never bother about others happiness, only on their own. My cousin facing the same situation of yours. In his case, girl is very cunning and cleverly playing. We asked them to go for counselling.

In yours, As Mr.Kalaiselvan sir told, consult a lawyer to take it up as she is ready to give divorce.

What complaint they are talking about?. Is it on you?. Do they have any evidence on it?

You could see many threads here to know the difference between MCD and Contested Divorce. If its MCD, you will relieve from this pain to the max 2yrs. If its being contested, you need to fight with evil for a long.. waste of time, money, life.. Already you are loosing the marital life. Seems you struggled a lot in a life to come to decent position, if you are not clever and bold enough, she will take you down and your wealth. Be calm and try to collect some evidences to make yourself comfortable having points.

Inform your current state to your parents too. They should be aware of it. No point in keeping it within yourself as it goes in a different way.

Ashok (Personal)     18 December 2013

Thank you very much for the suggestions given, going through the other discussions to understand the things and working on collecting the evidence. Thank you once again.

seperated tortured (needed)     19 December 2013

collecting evidences, submitting in court, and case Loading.............

never ends or takes huge time and by that time you will come to know that its better to live your life as you want without any headaches.

to cut short

ignore that person. live your life as you like. 

S.QAISAR ALI ADV. (Advocate)     27 December 2013

try to adjust with her to go with good relations.If it is not possible making sepration with her,file a divorce case and follow the with depicted grounds.

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