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(Guest)

Help me to get Divorce

Dear Esteemed Members,

I need your advice to resolve my marital issues.  I would also like to thank you in advance for reading & providing the solutions.

I am 31, residing in Delhi married to a 26 year lady from Mumbai since January 2011. Our marriage was an arranged marriage.

My family consists of my father who still works & provides for the family, Mom is a housewife & I am employed as a Manager in a pvt concern. My wife is working in a call center in Mumbai.  Her family consists of 1 elder brother & mom, Father had passed away when the kids were young. Mom is slightly unbalanced in mind; she is not able to comprehend things. They have a very strained relationship with most of their relatives since my MIL is the second wife. On the other hand we have an extensive list of relatives who had assisted in the marriage (Just marriage work nothing in helping us in cash except for marriage gifts which is a custom). There were only 30 members from my wife’s family who had attended the marriage (just attended). My wife’s brother had spent 2lacs for marriage expense and we had to chip in 50k. Other than that we had also bought expensive clothes for my wife which cost us a bomb.

Before marriage my wife had asked for 3 months time to move to Delhi as her appraisals were due, I too agreed. There were also other talks before marriage that she would not be able to contribute much to my (our) family as she had plans to construct a house on a plot which would be gifted by her brother (yet to be gifted) which I agreed for, she did not want kids for 2 years because she wanted to concentrate on her career for which I agreed although not whole heartedly.  After marriage we tried having physical relationship but she claimed that she was not able to bear the pain, so I did not force her, We even went to our honeymoon but nothing happened there too, I had attempted several times but she kept telling me that 1st she will check with a gyno & then we can have the physical relationship.

Within 5 days of the marriage there was a row between us when she kept claiming that her brother had spent loads on the marriage, I gave her a cheque for 1 lac but she asked me to give it to her brother since he had spent for the marriage, ultimately we reconciled & I ended up tearing the cheque.

She used to visit my place once or twice a month during weekends for which I used to book journey tickets in AC trains/bus. My mom had gifted her expensive gold bangles & kept purchasing her clothes & other things each time. For her birthday in April I had gifted a diamond pendant with a gold chain & she gifted a mobile phone. During the 2nd week of April we had issues again since she had made no effort in relocating, I had tried to get her a job in Delhi but she outright dismissed this effort. I had no other option but to escalate it to her brother, this made her furious & she kept blaming me that I had dragged in a 3rd person in our issues. Ultimately she agreed to shift by 1st week of June. But gain during the 2nd week of May things got out of hand when I saw that there was no progress in the relocation. She came down to my place along with her brother. She kept giving vague answers to whatever was asked & then I had to disclose to everyone that we had not even had physical relationship till date, this made her blow her top & she walked away.

For few days there was no communication, and then her brother called up my father & told him that she wanted a divorce, my father in turn told him that he would come to their place to discuss this & he should have his Aunt & Uncle at his home when we come for discussion.

When my parents went their along with some of my relatives, they had accused me of being impotent & had forced her to get money (Which is not true in fact till date I have not worn any of the jewels gifted by her brother or asked her for her salary). My parents & relatives were insulted & asked to get out of the house by my wife (If I should still call her my wife).

In the meantime I had filled for RCR in last week of June. In such a scenario I would like to know what are the best options for me to quickly get the divorce. Should I wait for 1 year to apply for a mutual divorce. I just want to move on with my life.



Learning

 15 Replies

**Victim** (job)     19 July 2011

I am Sorry to hear your story buddy

nippani satya narayana murthy (Advocate/Notary)     19 July 2011

if you and your wife are interested to go far to get a divorce you better go far divorce under mutual consent in this application both has to put signatures as both are interested to go far divorce

if not you yourself can file a separate petition in a concerned family court of your locality which has its own juristidction for getting divorce as she deserted you

for any application you need to have reasonable cause to get divorce and related documents like marriage photos(if you are a hindu you need to have 3 major photos like a photo when you are tying the Mangala sutram, one at the time you fixing the Mettelu, one at the time when you put Jeelakarra/zeera over her head), marriage card, any certificate which declares the evidence  that you performed marriage.

for further details you may contact me over my cell no: 0091 9989654920 Nippani Satya narayana murthy Advocate, High Court of  Andhra Pradesh, Civil/Criminal, Matrimonial & Banking Negotiable Instruments Act

nippani satya narayana murthy (Advocate/Notary)     19 July 2011

if both parties are interested you file a petition under section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act

for that you need to have 3 phtos one at the time of tying Managala Sutram, one at the time you fix Mettle in to her feet's finger, one at the time when put Zeera mixed with Zagree over her head and marriage card, if you have a certificate of registration of marriage place that.

both has to put signatures over the petition for divorce under mutual consent

or you can file a separate petition for divorce under section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act

Ms Liberal (others)     19 July 2011

From the above detail narration, it seems that that you have been happily living with your wife but some wrongs had happened due to intervention of the relatives

My advise is to keep awy from relatives as they will instigate your wife to do something wromng on which they later enjoy the situation. Thee are the common malpractices in which the parents/relatives unnecessarily interven in the matters and spoiling the girl's matri home

Since, things are fione why you want divorce? Its also strange

What will be the guarntee that your future life will not be more worst than today

Since you have already filed RCR (Not for taking advant) your intention clearly shows that if she don't join you you will proceed for decree of divorce

Your problem may not be uncommon in now days live

It better take the help of mediation center who will reconcile the problem (if you fins suitable)

hOWEVER YOU THINK THAT THERE HAVE BEEN CONCEALMENT PRIOR TO THE MARRAIAGE YOU CALWAYS HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO REVIVE THE DECISON

1 Like

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     19 July 2011

Dear S.B.,

On three issues I want to express my opinion.

From your narration, I gathered that your marriage was solemnized in Jan. 2011.  If that is so, for seeking divorce you have to wait atleast one year from the date of marriage.

Next issue is that you filed RCR.  Why you filed RCR, when you are saying that you want to get divorce and move on in your life.  How your advocate convinced you that your filing of RCR would force her for mutual consent divorce.  If you file contested divorce case also, she may not accept it and contest it with all her might.

Third issue - mutual consent divorce.  If she agrees then everything is well and good.  After one year from the date of marriage by declaring that both have been living separately since the marriage, you can file mutual consent petition and six months after that you can get mutual consent divorce.  But, it appears there are issues of money, gifts etc. intermingled in this matrimonial dispute. So, MCD may not be that much smooth sailing.  She will demand money etc. for agreeing for MCD.  You must prepare for that.

As you are saying that you both have no physical relationship due to her non-co-operation,, you should have moved a petition under S.12(1)(a) of HMA seeking the annulment of marriage on the ground of impotency of the wife.  That would have brought some positive results to your efforts.  Any how, think about it.  If you file case in Delhi, she will file counter cases in Bombay and she may seek the transfer of your case from Delhi to Bombay. 


(Guest)

Nice said Ms Liberal


(Guest)

Sir, the RCR was filed before my parents went to their place for discussion, That was my last try to get her back but after my parents were insulted I have lost all hope, she made a mockery of the marriage.


(Guest)

My advise based upon my personal experience is to go for Mutual consent in filing a divorce application.
There is no point carrying on with the Loveless relation, I also travelled in the same boat as you are today.

 

RAKHI BUDHIRAJA ADVOCATE (LAWYER AT BUDHIRAJA & ASSOCIATES SUPREME COURT OF INDIA)     19 July 2011

better to go for mutual divorce, if she is ready, if not, then u can think to file divorce from ur side/

Ms Liberal (others)     19 July 2011

Mutual consent is the best option but the fact as per staed its very difficult from your side ?

1 Like

(Guest)

Dear SB

better to go for mutual divorce, if she is ready  to take.... as she is not interested with you, and if not listening  then u can think to file divorce from ur side...

Sandeep Aggarwal (Advocate)     20 July 2011

Dear withdraw ur RCR and go for divorce. RCR is of no help for u and don't try to prove ur wife impotent unless and untill u r sure for this bcoz court want proof. for divorce filing wait for jan.2012. Till then enjoy the life and let ur wife also enjoy. Bye Sandeep

1 Like

john (Associate)     20 July 2011

Sir,

The Institution of Marraige has become a very big mockery in the India.

It is not only a legal but also a very big problem from social perspective.No one is to blame except our lawmakers who enacted the Hindu Marraige Act.We daily see a mockery of law in Courts helplessly when we see touts handing over cash to court clerks to get adjournments in maintainance and divorce case.A special class in our society has emerged from such a situation,we can term them as "social goons" or "social police",who are rogue and have the political influence gain from this circumstances.They mediate and dictate the terms on both parties and do the job of courts.

Always smell wrong when your spouce tells he/she wants to go home or wants a transffer.

In your case it is advisable to file a divorce petition before the appropriate court.And it'll take time,there is no remedy.

Ms Liberal (others)     20 July 2011

I don't understand one of the members(without naming) in this post vide Pvt messages are alleging statements which I hade never stated by me..If they have the courage kindly made open in the public to know the view of others...They are more in interesting in knowing the personal details of others by severly criticising by making personal remarks the views posted by me. They should felt ashamed of self. They better know who are they

My advise is if they had any decency left kindly don't do it again

Regards


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