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Share More (def)     09 July 2010

help me getting divorce on cruelty ground

I m married > 7yrs. Wife teacher on adhoc basis, earns 18000 pm. Only daughter 5yrs. Wife is cruel & rude. She humilates at every chance. we living away from my parents. planning to get divorce on cruelty grounds.

1) As we all know how bad wivescan  behave! But where is the proof? How can I strengthen my case in absence of documents/witness?

2) Is there any difference if >7yrs have passed since marriage, as far as sec498A / DV Act is concerned?

3) Are there chances that she may not get maintaince coz she is earning much & has accumulated around 6-7lac in her acconts?

Can she leave that adhoc job meanwhile to force maintaince upon me?

4) Till now we are residing in rented house. i want that i  do not face her off-court once i file the case. can i put some clause that she may not visit my new house to create a scene there & humiliate me socially?

5) What is the likelyhood of child custody in this case?

I am confused & worried too. Seeking help from fellow members at the earliest


 10 Replies


If you are just planning and not yet filed a Suit for dissolution of marriage by way of a decree using Cruelties as fault theory then you may follow below;

1. Collect evidences of her “verbal abuses ./ humiliations” taping them on cell phone or recording devises.

2. Collect witnesses in whose presence she “humiliates” you and request them to bind for oath evidence affidavit on yoru behalf.

3. Collect evidences of her income / bank statements.

4. Collect evidences of cruelties on child and neglect of child by mother.

You may take help of ld. member from LCI database as per your lcoation and place abv. evidences during trial not before then other than such hint in pleadings. Dont share them with advocate before evidence stage.

a. There is no difference if she files 498a / DV / S. 125 CrPC as well as S. 24 HMA even after 7 years of marriage it is not time barred. However at the time of settlement / compromise meadiators will force you to cough more to part ways as this marriage is 7 years old not yesterdays event that is all.

b. If you leave house you have to first think about your daughter's welfare like where she will be living (with u r with your wife)?

c. You have to see who in your family (females) are going to take care of your child at second rented place? If you file custody case and child with you in a rented place and your wife working read with your family females looking well the child then chances of you winning custody is more as the child is currently 5 years old. Be carefull during child visitations if granted by court in favour of her. 

d. Concerning change of residence it is suggested that first collect all the above, then lock in second rented place, file the divorce case on cruelties ground, now move to rented place, take child and settle the child in new home, install females (mother unmarried sister / father etc.) to look after the child then in the case also file injunction against mother not to disturb you in your second rented place as well as child should not be disturbed from her new home / school etc. till the cases are decided.

e. Maint to wife is dependent on your income and her capacity to work formula in short. I am not made aware of yoru income othr than her 18 K.

All are doable it needs strategy, evidence collection and a family court lawyer who can fight for men’s rights.

All the best,


Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     10 July 2010

what the anxities you express, are possible.

but if you feared about these, then you have to suffer life long.

write here what the thinghs you felt cruelty, then members will be able to indicate how to collect evidence and witness. (def)     11 July 2010

Thanx a ton for replies. let me open up more

i am self employed & earn ~ 25000 pm.

our dispute is almost 5yrs long. she stayed at her parents city for 10 months in 2008 due to disputes. child was also with her. i decided not to bend anymore. faced humiliating visits from her relatives at my residance. parents were also disturbed by them. i documented the facts to poilce at that time.

finally my father in law threatened me to kill. i submitted complaint. on thats action, reconcilation was done & as per her demand i shifted her & daughter to rented house away from my parent's house.

as i have decided to put div case, i plan to shift in an old house registered in my my mother's name.

i want effective detterance from her/ her family after i file the case so that everthing happens in court only! (def)     14 July 2010

Hello mates

plz reply

Renuka Gupta ( Gender Researcher )     15 July 2010

Dear Mr. Harsh


Being a platform of knowledge exchange, we would like to know what is suggested in this case. When we flassh a query in the public forum like this, it means not only the one who sends query but others in the similar situation would benefit by the replies of the ld. expert community. I think your reply on this platform would be read not only by galsober but also by so many members. 




1 Like

valentine (Advocate)     22 July 2010

This is not the platform to create a clientele. 


@ galsober

I am commenting on your 11th. July post especially its last sentence " I want effective detterance from her/ her family after I file the case so that everthing happens in Court only!"

Strategy in matrimonial suits of crl. / civil nature is to engagge opponent inside as well as outside Court with a open mind.

If you choose everything to happen in Court only then forget Justice, negotiations outside court / outside counters initiatives / society pressures / friends and relatives review of conduct of either spouse etc. etc. also plays a major role in outcome of any matrimonial case.

However, I understood what actually you mean by above sentence but still thought to say for common public consumption.


valentine (Advocate)     23 July 2010

Now-a-days courts are replete with boards and plates bearing the slogans that It is better to compromise than to fight.... etc. In America people are fed up with long stretched litigations and procedures and they prefer arbitration and conciliation to litigation. In india also this ideaology iis fast catching up.

Basavaraj (SOMETHING)     23 July 2010

My case is also same, but i didn't collect any proofs other than sms from her , that was my mistake

You lead life with her for few more months and collect evidences (Her and Her family threatening/behaviour Voice records, videos, sms ) as possible as you can, then file Divorce case.

You should be cool and calm during this period...because she might be collecting evidences against you.



God Bless You


Mr Valentine,

The West has better practice as far as decree in divorce proceedings goes, everything post marriage of spouses are equally divided quicly during Attorney in person meetings along with child visitation / maint. as well as alimony part. This is so bze in West marriage is based on NO FAULT theory in actual practice. There is no acrimony read with sacroment theory there unlike with Indian Marriage divorce system which is purely based on falsety coupled with FAULT THEORY and encouraged by various sections of protectors / upholders of Law.

Hence what you advised is good for those couples here in
India who have agreed amicably to each and every areas that brings in Decree out of a Divorce suit. It is speedier and helpful to Courts for lessing their burden. But if we talk of America then my first para is shared experience but who will bell the cat !

Reminds me of a cruelty experience :-)

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping coupe on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,............   'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'
'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,.............. let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.






'Good,' she replied. .............'Then get your own bl**dy blanket.'

The End :)


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