chinni (SW Engineer) 17 June 2012

Help and advice to file rcr

Hi.. We got married in 2008 January. My wife is rude and she is a house wife. She wanted to live close to her parents. I came to London in 2011 January and it will be very difficult If I land here with family with out any arrangements for house and other basic things. So mutually discussed and she did agree that she will come and join me once I arrange all the basic facilities. But, after arranging all the facilities in couple of months, I did request my wife to come and join. Since then she is not showing any interest to come and join me. I did request her multiple times on this but no use. She wanted to keep my baby close to her parents and that is the reason she is not coming. few elder persons tried to convience her by mediation but she told them that I never informed her to come and join me. I have all emails that I sent her requesting to join me. she is threatening me that she will file a DV case if I force her to come. I filled an application and told her to apply for passport and she mentioned that she did apply for passport in 2011 June, But now she is telling that I never asked her to apply for the passport. We did exchange few emails about it but she told that she never sent any emails to me and she is also claiming that the email ID from which she sent emails is not her email ID. psycologically am soo disturbed with out seeing my baby. Is there any way that I can take legal action on her and will it help me in any way?

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Anjuru Chandra Sekhar (Advocate ) 17 June 2012

The relationship between husband and wife is based on mutual understanding, trust and sacrifice. Both husband and wife should be willing to sacrifice for the other a few of their comforts. Marriage is a religious relationship not a legal relationship. If it is a legal relationship, then all components of marriage like which spouse has to go to the other's house (customarily wife goes to husband's house but in an official/legal relationship it can be defined, hence it is possible that even husband can go to wife's house as per terms of agreement), when to give birth to a child, what shall be done if one of the spouses gets transfer of job to a distant place....etc..will be well defined. If it is not defined, that means, it is not a legal relationship, all these must be worked out based on mutual understanding and goodwill.

You cannot make (force) someone like the things that she cannot like, you cannot make (force) someone love if she has no love, you cannot make (force) someone sacrifice if she has no inclination to sacrifice. In official relationships it is possible to "force" someone through an order to act in a certain manner in accordance with the order. But marriage is not a formal or official relationship, here nobody is boss, nobody is servant. Marriage is not enjoyment of rights using legal force, but sharing of duties with a religious mind. Hence invoking legal remedies to enforce rights is mere waste of time to save marriage. One should have natural inclination to love and sacrifice for the spouse or at least a religious mind to honor the obligations treating them as bounden duties in a marital relationship. In the absence of both of these, the relationship is likely to break and fail.

One can only demand for their "Right" is only there in official and legal relationships. In family and marital relationships there is nothing called "right". People can only be reminded of their duties, it is waste of time and lungpower to talk about rights with a non-cooperating opponent. And there is no joy in relationship even if we by hook or crook are able to enforce our rights on the non-cooperating opponent, because she will be obeying, accepting us against her will.

Adv.R.P.Chugh (Advocate/Legal Consultant (rpchughadvocatesupremecourt@hotmail.com)) 17 June 2012

1. Watch out and prepare your defense was regards DV Act/498A/406 (other cases that she might file) by intimating the authorities as to your apprehension (wife won't come to know about it) 2. More facts are required to answer comprehensively.