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Abused Male (Service)     25 July 2015

Getting abused in a (not so) live in relationship

Being not so sure where to start... I am going to start where it all went wrong.

I changed campanies and cities..came to Pune. My ex-girlfriend (Lets call her B from here) begged me to come stay with her as that was the paln initially. We mutually agreed after disagreement from my side; the disagreement was not because i never wanted to stay with her but because she was living in a place that I could hardly call a room and anyways I was about to get my own flat exactly after 2 months from moving to the city. The payments and process for the same had been all done.

Coming to the point, within 1st week of that period living with her I reallized we were not going to work, she was an entirely different person from what she had projected over the last 1 year.

I decide to move out but every time I packed my bags she would get physical, start hitting me, shouting to the top of her lungs and what not. I always in order to not get thrown out (for both me and her) tried to calm down the situation as we were living in an extended room of a family.

2 months passed somehow, in between there was a LOT of physical and verbal abuse.. I was called names..even a Rapist.

A day before me moving to my own flat we had a HUGE fight, physical, mental, shoutings..what not.

SO the next day..i get up..pack my stuff and leave for my flat. Guess what..she after that fight from the previous night also, comes to live with me.

I let it be as i thought obviously it was not possible after all that shouting that went last night any family would let people live. She told me she would find a place within a week and move out.

Six months now.. I have been summoned to the police station twice. She has called me a rapist and continues to do so.. I have mutiple injuries on my body.. Had to move out of my flat (i lived out for 2 months thinking she would eventually leave, she didnt... I had to move back as I was running out of budget and bachelors is a no go in the locality i lived in). She continues to make fun of me wicked smiles and says I am never going to leave this house ever... it is you (ie. me) who is going to leave and spend the rest of the life in jail.


Please suggest as to what steps should I take to go back to a normal life.

Questions ::

1. Can she file a file a rape case, DV case against me? If so, will I be jailed? What Should I do to prevent myself from false allegations.

2. Is it possible for her to claim ownership of my falt? I am asking this as she tells me that its hers and she is never going to leave.

3. What steps should I take so that she leaves me alone.

 12 Replies


One word. She can. Thats all.  


What you can do is, sell the place off without telling her. Change phone, change numbers, never log into social networking sites.  change job. Lie low and Start afresh elsewhere.  

Whatever you have thought, she can do, and the law has ample support for her but dont be afraid that also can be dealt with but at the cost of your precious years.  Once matter goes into court, you are doomed.  You are bound to loose money and 7-8 years running to court.

So think fast. Act swift.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     01 August 2015

First of all see what all cases she has made i her complaint with the police.

If it is your flat you can ask her to leave and also can make a complaint to police about her unauthorised stay and refusal to leave, however she can file a DV case against you so better be careful on that angle too by which she can seek residential rights. 

1 Like

AS   20 August 2015

Read this and Talk to lawyer before you apply these steps-

Let me give reason for this advise :- DV you dont have to worry at all. But Rape 376 is serious crime under which you will be jailed for 7-10 years (remember it is almost impossible to get bail in 376)

Solution :- Marry her  ..This will safegaurd you from 376 Rape.(ensure you  spend all money on your marriage from your bank account via cheque, try not to involve your parents in marriage party/reception) 

                Spend one year politely ( Be ready for 498A / DV / 125 etc), So collect evidence (good time pics , her salary statement , etc etc to have her financial background)

              Apply for Divorce or simply move out change your city / phone /job all.


1 Like

Sudhir Kumar (Retd Govt Officer)     01 October 2015

Live-In is a dignified word now used. 100 years back only ultra-rich feudal lords could afford this and they were affording it in addition to a family. Their victims were helpless women who expected nothing more than a living. laws were also not in favour of such ladies or their children. (refer movies like Amar Prem) Now petty paid bachelors have also stepped in even without having a family and even without having resources to bear the expenses. The victims are not helpless women mostly equally qualified and equally earning and having capacity to fight back. Now law is also not so mute. Still these people walk in to such relations. Men fall in the lure of free s*x without marital responsibility and land in great trouble. You are not the first or last such person. Now what do you want

Abused Male (Service)     07 October 2015

Hello All,

Recent update on this case is that now she has filed a rape case against me (launched an FIR for the same).

Being pretty sure she was going to do so I have already left town. Can anyone help me as to what step should I take next?

The cops did call me to enquire but i declined since I have been present in all cases prior to this and that returned no solution.

As far as i know anticipatory bail is out of question now.

Sudhir Kumar (Retd Govt Officer)     07 October 2015

You already know that AB is out of question. Then do you really think you can spend entire life as desperado. Or do you think that you are the first person for them. Or do you think they are not trained and experienced to deal with persons like you.

Sudhir Kumar (Retd Govt Officer)     07 October 2015

Better surrender so that chances for regular bail are not dimmed.

Abused Male (Service)     07 October 2015

Thank you for mentioning "persons like you".

I will surrender and then fight to the end for sure. I just thought that maybe I could have gotten some advice as to how to proceed about the same.

Sudhir Kumar (Retd Govt Officer)     07 October 2015

One day or the other you will get bail and will be bale to fight out. If you decide to remain desperado you will nto win. "persons like you" (i) who are not professional criminal and (ii) have no talent to remain underground for entire life. (iii) Not able get anticipatory bail. Such persons cannot evade arrest for long. Policemen (though belived to be not very academically sound rather shown in movies as jokers) are actually wise enough how to get a wanted accused. They even nab hardened criminals by adopting N Number of legal and illegal ways. Though generally well versed only in the state govt language but are able to coordinate with other cops in any part of country, while none of them read/ wire/ speak / understand each others official and personal language.

Sudhir Kumar (Retd Govt Officer)     07 October 2015

Further if you feel that you have not been given any advise (because given free) then please do not surrender. Remain on the run till you end last penny in pocket and left with no money to fight case.

Sudhir Kumar (Retd Govt Officer)     07 October 2015

Further if you feel that you have not been given any advise (because given free) then please do not surrender. Remain on the run till you end last penny in pocket and left with no money to fight case.

FightForCause (Businessman)     08 October 2015

If you are at Pune, you can go to Sambhaji Garden .

There are people who call themselves MRA ( Men's Right Association ).

Discuss with them your future course with them. They will definitely give a ear to your problem.

Meeting happens at 4 to 6pm only on Sunday. 


Search more on internet.

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