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Fighting against false accusations

Page no : 2

rajiv_lodha (zz)     05 May 2013

@ chandra!

try to accept what is right, may be its not of ur taste

* Wife can very well file n-number of false cases upon u if she retaliates

* Who is right who is wrong--- will be decided by long court battle

* Person making allegations has to carry burden of proof himself, not the other party. Obviously, other party has legal right to bring truth into the notice of court

* Laws are women biased in India. U wont get timely contested divorce in India. Many ppl here are suffereing from this legal terrorism & extortion for past 7-10 yrs to say.

* In disturbed matrimony, MCD is always better & time tested formula rather than contested divorce.

Rest.........coming yrs will make u understand, not the well-wishers or sufferers here

1 Like

Anonycity_101 (Consultant)     05 May 2013

@rajiv: I have come far since i filed my petition and a couple of hearings are already over. why do you think i didn't consider MCD? i did and it didn't work.

i am also willing to wait for as many years as it takes - i am in no hurry to get into trouble with another woman. 

i am aware of everything you said. don't try too hard to convince me - and waste your time.

If you have an answer to my query, please answer otherwise just look away!


(Guest)
Originally posted by : ChandraS77

I think there is a slight confusion here. Let me clarify.

There is no domestic violence case against me. I am the petitioner in this case filing for dissolution under Section 13(1) (1a). do you think they can file a case against me now? If not, does the burden of proof still lie with me?

 

Yes.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : ChandraS77


i didn't consider MCD? i did and it didn't work.

As you have already tried for MCD and it did not work.

Its the age old process of contested divorce.  Where she has to prove her allegations, you have to prove your allegations hence cannot live with her anymore.  And based on the findings from the evidences, arguments, cross examination, the court will decide whether to grant you divorce or not.


i am also willing to wait for as many years as it takes - i am in no hurry to get into trouble with another woman. 

If you are willing to wait and that you are not in a hurry, what the issue here?

If you have an answer to my query, please answer otherwise just look away!

 

I understand from your query, about the burden of truth thing.  Well, that has to be proved by you only ie allegations made by you have to be proved via factual evidences, witnesses etc and allegations made by her ie drunkard, womanizer etc have to be proved by you that you are not so.  Well if she has some evidences that you are a drunkard or womanizer and or both she has to provide evidence as such, or she may not provide such evidence either ways you have to prove both.  That your wife is no more a suitable person to live with and that you are a godly man who has been accused of being nithyananda etc.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : ChandraS77


 

I (the husband) filed for divorce under Section 13(1) (1a) after 15 years of marriage and having a 11 year old son.

I came to understand from a common friend that my wife and her parents are going to adopt offence is the best defence approach. falsely accuse me of being a drunkard, an irresponsible person and a wife beater (in the forthcoming hearing). Also that I kept demanding money after marriage and that they gave us lots of jewellery. They know and everyone who knows me knows that none of these are true. I only drink occassionally and definitely not a drunkard. 


I filed the petition: is there a scope for them to make accusations like this? I thought they will have to respond to the reasons I gave in the petition.

How can I defend myself agains these false accusations?

The only way to defend is:  

They ie your relatives who knows you, knows that none of the allegations are true, and you will have to call them as witness.

I only drink occassionally and definitely not a drunkard. 

Just one blood sample would prove that you drink, how much, which quantity, does not matter.  But the point is.. you drink. Here.. She cannot tell that you are a drunk even provide evidence of your drinking capacities and still tell that she loves you.


I will be grateful and your response will give me great moral strength to fight my case. Thanks in advance.

Anonycity_101 (Consultant)     05 May 2013

But the point is.. you drink. Here.. She cannot tell that you are a drunk even provide evidence of your drinking capacities and still tell that she loves you.

 

I don't understand this...are you saying that she cannot prove that I drink? What about she telling she loves me? I don't quite get it. can you say it again pls?


(Guest)
Originally posted by : ChandraS77

But the point is.. you drink. Here.. She cannot tell that you are a drunk even provide evidence of your drinking capacities and still tell that she loves you.

 

I don't understand this...are you saying that she cannot prove that I drink? What about she telling she loves me? I don't quite get it. can you say it again pls?

Read carefully.


Just one blood sample is enough to prove that you drink.


BTW.  Whatever accusations she makes will eventually all come in your favor is what I meant and that will remain so in your case till the end.

1 Like

Anonycity_101 (Consultant)     05 May 2013

@need justice: thanks for the response. actually, she didn't file for divorce, I did under section 13-1-1a on the grounds of mental cruelty

she never filed any case/complaint against me not even under 498a - there was no reason for her to do so. but i think she is going make claims of physical and mental abuse just as a defence and she is also going to claim that i am a drunkard and perhaps even a womanizer.

she is going to contest the case i filed.

can you please advice me with these points in mind? can you also share any relevant cases that i can refer to?

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     07 May 2013

1.  filed by you and she gave her counter reply without filing 498 a 

2.  thus she has any evidence to show that you made any nuisence by drinkiing 

3.  and also to show that you are a wominser any evidence 

it is only your perception that she may claim even if she claims that your are so and so at the time of evidence the point arises and arguments also this point specifically make a head point and its all depends on your lawyer who how he defends it .

1 Like

Sree...!! (Manager)     17 August 2013

Hi

I badly need an advice.,

3months back only we got married, before th\at we know each other from August 2007 as we worked for the same company but in different departments, she proposed me in Dec, 2008. One good evening we discuseed every thing like my financial stage, what type of girl i am looking for, my family background & all, and about her previous marriage as she is a divorcee and the age difference what we had (she is 11years elder to me, ofcourse she said 7yrs only but later i came to know that itz 11yrs) and i felt there is nothing wrong from her side in her previous marriage break-up and i accepted her proposal happily, that time i was 24 n she was 35. After a couple of months she left that company n joined in other company, so i use to drop n pickup her from her home n office which are almost 15km distance from my home, that time i was in IT and I have my own freelancing firm apart from my job, which i closed only bcz i could not manage the timings to meet customers as my most of the time was spent in meeting her only. Some times i used to wait at her office gate for more than 2hrs in the late evenings (at 8.30, 9pm), i never bothered about my business n those timings as i really love her n more concerned about her, whenever she calls i use to go even i am in meeting with my MD, or sleeping at home in the night, or even in the urgent work at server, she has taken all these grantedly, even i never find anything wrong at that time, but as i have debts it has become very difficult but still i use to manage all the things including all the expenses whenever we go out, although i got an US OFFER, i refused it, only bcz she said that she can not stay without me n i asked her to get married in 2009 but she said no at that time, and I got the job in a PSU in 2010, by that time my sister completed her MCA and parents want to do sister's marriage early to me and i said ok.

Suddenly she started forcing me to marry her, in the mean while in this 3years i spoke to her parents, elder sisters, brother-in-laws, younger brother n all, as i was in need of money, i took Rs.2lakhs for which i use to pay 24% per year interest( even after our marriage). I never took a single rupee from her in at the time of weddiing also, in 2012 she forced me very strongly to get married but i didnt do that, from that time onwards she started doing emotional black-mail saying that I cheated her, I used her, she wants to die as i am not caring her as i used to do earlier (as i joined in the new job, it was very tough for me to balance), she never tried to understand me, finally in May 2013, i met her mother(as she is the key person in her family) n elder sister and fixed the date, she said that as her parents are very old they can not bare any expenses so i said we will get married in AARYA samaj n she said ok,  I did all the arrangements by borrowing some money from my close friends. Suddenly she started making the things like hell and whatever she said those all were wrong.

I came to know that they have a settlement of Rs.10lakhs in previous marriage, i was shocked that she never told me about this, I do regular pooja n all( even though i am non-veg) and whenver i use to ask her to wear a saree, she used to say that she will wear after marriage, in the very early stage i said, i need a girl who can take care of my family, who can be little traditiioinal like wearing sarees, doing poojas, respecting in -laws n especially i dont wish that my wife to work n as i am not a materialistic n rich person, i dont have fridge n washing machine at my home, and she needs a seperate home as she is not ready to stay with my parents.

I took a single bed room n paid the advance also, Just 1week before to the marriage date, she started that without a fridge n all others she cannot live and she wants her money n gold (some gold was in mortgage)back as she wants to handover that to her parents. I spoke to her parents n said that i need some time to realease the gold n even i dont need that money also, i shall return that also. as she is finding difficulty in her job (dec, 2013), i said to resign n start learning cooking n when she asked for her monthly expenses n others, i agreed to pay her the salary what she was getting in her job (but i could pay only 50% of the salary from Jan 2013), now you just imagine, by just my salary, i use to maintain my family, again used to give her 10k every month, apart from that 4k interest, gold loan interest, i have taken a chit on her name and that payment, thatz why i asked to gimme some time, then her mother said that i cheated her daughter by taking all her money, gold n forcing her to sit at home, her elder sister said that now-a-days a rikshawala living his life better than you, you had taken all her money and now you are asking her to lead a life like a beggar, so we are not interested in this, we will postpond the marriage n before the marriage you return the gold n all. I dont have any words except tears in my eyes. When her sister n parents, her brother asked me that whether i had thought about the age difference n kids n all, i said i am ready to face all that issues n society, but i never thought that they can talk to me in this way n my marriage was postponded, her brother said not to meet her till i marry her, i said ok n cameback to my home with tears.

After 3,4 days she called n asked to meet her, again she started all that emotional black-mail, she took me to an astrologer and he said he have the best time (muhurth) on the next 2nd day, when i said i was mentally very much disturbed and i need the time, even to return the money, gold, she scold me like anything and started crying that by just returing those money n gold you want to leave me n you want to some other girl, how can i show my face to someone, itz better i will commit sucide. Finally as i dont have any choice i accepted and we got married. My marriage was done hust infront of 6people, her elder sister, younger sister, her father, mother, my two friends (1 is goldsmith who made mangal-sutra, other for witness sign) as my mom didnt accept i didnt inform to my sister n father.

At my home, when we both went, my father accepted easily and said to have a good life, my mom cried like anything, she stopped talking to me, my sister was silent (she is not yet married and working for a bank), in just 10days my wife started again emotional blackmail that she can not live that home n to take a single bedroom house(previous rental agreement we cancelled as the marriage postponded, as i won the bid of my chit, i released the gold), i said it is very difficult for me to maintain two families with rented houses with chit, my personal loan, her housing loan (that was given for rent balance 4k EMI to be adjusted) and all, she said that she will start working and she can share some of those.

This is the 3rd month running and I am the person who is taking care of everything which is almost double of my salary.

In these 3 months,

1. She wore saree only for two times(even today we celebrate varalakshmi pooja, she didnt do that as she doesnot know how to break the coconut and she doesnt like to wear saree) apart from the marriage day, when i asked to wear the saree, she said she doesnot like the saree as she was not born in 60s.

2. Her voice is very sweet and when i asked her to sing a song she rudely said that she said you would have married a professional singer

3. One day in the morning when i asked for my breakfast at 9.30am, she said she is not my kaamwaali to getup n do all my works.

4. you believe it or not, in my past 28years (except 1year, when i was bachelor used to stay alone), i never went to kitchen, but in this 2months, i cooked rice n curry for couple of days, after that washed all those  vessels, even i wash my cloths, in brief i can say that two roommates are there, thatz all.

5. Whenever she calls i should to her to her parent's or sister's or brother's or her relative's home, but she doesnot like to go to my parents home, i should take her to movies, malls, restaurants, whatever she says ii should say ok, then I am good, otherwise I am an idiot, stupid, and all other, so making a big mess, if i say i can not come now as i have other works.

6. She starts comparing our family with her sister's families, i tried to explain that they already settled n we just started the journey, the result is you never try to make me happy, xyz, blah blah n starts crying and 2 weeks back on a weekend she forced me to take her to her brother's home, then in anger i said be mature, now this is our family, our week here n there what is this, it doesnot look nice, then she started shouting on me n said if i cant live in her way then itz better you take the divorce n i am least bothered about you.

7. Yesterday again we were there at her brother's home (went there on 14th night, came on 15th night), today her elder sister came our home n said that all the family members are going for picnic n asked me to put the leave n come for saturday n sunday, i said for me some urgent work as saturday is halfday n i can not come, you please take her, and she will come with you. After her sister went, again she started shouting on me that previously you use to leave all the works n come with me now-a-days you are behaving lika ____, i said mind your language, try to understand, even you know that i rescheduled all my 15th day works, every time i cant do this, then again she started shouting that then you take the divorce and get lost, i am not going to stay with you like this.

DEAR ALL,

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO, NOW I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED, FOR WHOM I AM DOING ALL THESE THINGS, I GOT MARRIED AGAINST TO MY PARENTS, I HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF MY SISTER MARRIAGE N MY PARENTS, I AM WASHING MY CLOTHES, COOKING FOOD, LIVING LIKE A MARRIED BACHELOR(EVEN WE MAKE LOVE VERY FEW AS SHE IS NOT MUCH INTERESTED IN THAT), TAKING CARE OF ALL BASIC N FINANCIAL NEEDS, GETTING SCOLED FOR MARRYING HER (AN ELDER DIVORCE), ITZ COMPLETLY BREAKING MY HEAD, SHE IS MENTALLY TORTUREING ME LIKE ANYTHING.

PLEASE ADVISE ME..!!!


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Sree...!!

Hi

I badly need an advice.,

3months back only we got married, before th\at we know each other from August 2007 as we worked for the same company but in different departments, she proposed me in Dec, 2008. One good evening we discuseed every thing like my financial stage, what type of girl i am looking for, my family background & all, and about her previous marriage as she is a divorcee and the age difference what we had (she is 11years elder to me, ofcourse she said 7yrs only but later i came to know that itz 11yrs) and i felt there is nothing wrong from her side in her previous marriage break-up and i accepted her proposal happily, that time i was 24 n she was 35. After a couple of months she left that company n joined in other company, so i use to drop n pickup her from her home n office which are almost 15km distance from my home, that time i was in IT and I have my own freelancing firm apart from my job, which i closed only bcz i could not manage the timings to meet customers as my most of the time was spent in meeting her only. Some times i used to wait at her office gate for more than 2hrs in the late evenings (at 8.30, 9pm), i never bothered about my business n those timings as i really love her n more concerned about her, whenever she calls i use to go even i am in meeting with my MD, or sleeping at home in the night, or even in the urgent work at server, she has taken all these grantedly, even i never find anything wrong at that time, but as i have debts it has become very difficult but still i use to manage all the things including all the expenses whenever we go out, although i got an US OFFER, i refused it, only bcz she said that she can not stay without me n i asked her to get married in 2009 but she said no at that time, and I got the job in a PSU in 2010, by that time my sister completed her MCA and parents want to do sister's marriage early to me and i said ok.

Suddenly she started forcing me to marry her, in the mean while in this 3years i spoke to her parents, elder sisters, brother-in-laws, younger brother n all, as i was in need of money, i took Rs.2lakhs for which i use to pay 24% per year interest( even after our marriage). I never took a single rupee from her in at the time of weddiing also, in 2012 she forced me very strongly to get married but i didnt do that, from that time onwards she started doing emotional black-mail saying that I cheated her, I used her, she wants to die as i am not caring her as i used to do earlier (as i joined in the new job, it was very tough for me to balance), she never tried to understand me, finally in May 2013, i met her mother(as she is the key person in her family) n elder sister and fixed the date, she said that as her parents are very old they can not bare any expenses so i said we will get married in AARYA samaj n she said ok,  I did all the arrangements by borrowing some money from my close friends. Suddenly she started making the things like hell and whatever she said those all were wrong.

I came to know that they have a settlement of Rs.10lakhs in previous marriage, i was shocked that she never told me about this, I do regular pooja n all( even though i am non-veg) and whenver i use to ask her to wear a saree, she used to say that she will wear after marriage, in the very early stage i said, i need a girl who can take care of my family, who can be little traditiioinal like wearing sarees, doing poojas, respecting in -laws n especially i dont wish that my wife to work n as i am not a materialistic n rich person, i dont have fridge n washing machine at my home, and she needs a seperate home as she is not ready to stay with my parents.

I took a single bed room n paid the advance also, Just 1week before to the marriage date, she started that without a fridge n all others she cannot live and she wants her money n gold (some gold was in mortgage)back as she wants to handover that to her parents. I spoke to her parents n said that i need some time to realease the gold n even i dont need that money also, i shall return that also. as she is finding difficulty in her job (dec, 2013), i said to resign n start learning cooking n when she asked for her monthly expenses n others, i agreed to pay her the salary what she was getting in her job (but i could pay only 50% of the salary from Jan 2013), now you just imagine, by just my salary, i use to maintain my family, again used to give her 10k every month, apart from that 4k interest, gold loan interest, i have taken a chit on her name and that payment, thatz why i asked to gimme some time, then her mother said that i cheated her daughter by taking all her money, gold n forcing her to sit at home, her elder sister said that now-a-days a rikshawala living his life better than you, you had taken all her money and now you are asking her to lead a life like a beggar, so we are not interested in this, we will postpond the marriage n before the marriage you return the gold n all. I dont have any words except tears in my eyes. When her sister n parents, her brother asked me that whether i had thought about the age difference n kids n all, i said i am ready to face all that issues n society, but i never thought that they can talk to me in this way n my marriage was postponded, her brother said not to meet her till i marry her, i said ok n cameback to my home with tears.

After 3,4 days she called n asked to meet her, again she started all that emotional black-mail, she took me to an astrologer and he said he have the best time (muhurth) on the next 2nd day, when i said i was mentally very much disturbed and i need the time, even to return the money, gold, she scold me like anything and started crying that by just returing those money n gold you want to leave me n you want to some other girl, how can i show my face to someone, itz better i will commit sucide. Finally as i dont have any choice i accepted and we got married. My marriage was done hust infront of 6people, her elder sister, younger sister, her father, mother, my two friends (1 is goldsmith who made mangal-sutra, other for witness sign) as my mom didnt accept i didnt inform to my sister n father.

At my home, when we both went, my father accepted easily and said to have a good life, my mom cried like anything, she stopped talking to me, my sister was silent (she is not yet married and working for a bank), in just 10days my wife started again emotional blackmail that she can not live that home n to take a single bedroom house(previous rental agreement we cancelled as the marriage postponded, as i won the bid of my chit, i released the gold), i said it is very difficult for me to maintain two families with rented houses with chit, my personal loan, her housing loan (that was given for rent balance 4k EMI to be adjusted) and all, she said that she will start working and she can share some of those.

This is the 3rd month running and I am the person who is taking care of everything which is almost double of my salary.

In these 3 months,

1. She wore saree only for two times(even today we celebrate varalakshmi pooja, she didnt do that as she doesnot know how to break the coconut and she doesnt like to wear saree) apart from the marriage day, when i asked to wear the saree, she said she doesnot like the saree as she was not born in 60s.

2. Her voice is very sweet and when i asked her to sing a song she rudely said that she said you would have married a professional singer

3. One day in the morning when i asked for my breakfast at 9.30am, she said she is not my kaamwaali to getup n do all my works.

4. you believe it or not, in my past 28years (except 1year, when i was bachelor used to stay alone), i never went to kitchen, but in this 2months, i cooked rice n curry for couple of days, after that washed all those  vessels, even i wash my cloths, in brief i can say that two roommates are there, thatz all.

5. Whenever she calls i should to her to her parent's or sister's or brother's or her relative's home, but she doesnot like to go to my parents home, i should take her to movies, malls, restaurants, whatever she says ii should say ok, then I am good, otherwise I am an idiot, stupid, and all other, so making a big mess, if i say i can not come now as i have other works.

6. She starts comparing our family with her sister's families, i tried to explain that they already settled n we just started the journey, the result is you never try to make me happy, xyz, blah blah n starts crying and 2 weeks back on a weekend she forced me to take her to her brother's home, then in anger i said be mature, now this is our family, our week here n there what is this, it doesnot look nice, then she started shouting on me n said if i cant live in her way then itz better you take the divorce n i am least bothered about you.

7. Yesterday again we were there at her brother's home (went there on 14th night, came on 15th night), today her elder sister came our home n said that all the family members are going for picnic n asked me to put the leave n come for saturday n sunday, i said for me some urgent work as saturday is halfday n i can not come, you please take her, and she will come with you. After her sister went, again she started shouting on me that previously you use to leave all the works n come with me now-a-days you are behaving lika ____, i said mind your language, try to understand, even you know that i rescheduled all my 15th day works, every time i cant do this, then again she started shouting that then you take the divorce and get lost, i am not going to stay with you like this.

DEAR ALL,

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO, NOW I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED, FOR WHOM I AM DOING ALL THESE THINGS, I GOT MARRIED AGAINST TO MY PARENTS, I HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF MY SISTER MARRIAGE N MY PARENTS, I AM WASHING MY CLOTHES, COOKING FOOD, LIVING LIKE A MARRIED BACHELOR(EVEN WE MAKE LOVE VERY FEW AS SHE IS NOT MUCH INTERESTED IN THAT), TAKING CARE OF ALL BASIC N FINANCIAL NEEDS, GETTING SCOLED FOR MARRYING HER (AN ELDER DIVORCE), ITZ COMPLETLY BREAKING MY HEAD, SHE IS MENTALLY TORTUREING ME LIKE ANYTHING.

PLEASE ADVISE ME..!!!

There was lot of time from August 2007 till May 2013 to think about tying the knot with this elderly woman.


Akshaye Khanna also fell in love with Dimple Kapadia in the movie Dil Chahta Hai, but even he did not have plans to marry her.


Its not a grave mistake to fall in love.  But there should be some sense, but as love it is, it kills the sense thing in any intelligent and smart man.


Done is done.


Now no use of crying.


Now that she knows you in and out, that you love her.  She will make full use of your emotions till the day you are with her.


Love means giving in, totally, which you have succeeded fully, but you want to retract now.  Now there is not retracting.  Even if you do, you just can apply for divorce, and prepare yourself to pursue legal battle.


Consult a good divorce/criminal lawyer.. as the way it looks you are definitley in for trouble  if you file divorce case.


If you feel that its no use filing for divorce then just lie back and enjoy the show.


PS:  Your case fits for the tagline 'Love is blind, marriage is a eyeopener'


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