Efforts for Reconciliation

Originally posted by : Roshi Agr
	Hello Professionals, I am married for 4 years and having a 2 years old kid. I am working with Bank and my husband is having a small business in Pune. Since marriage we used to have arguments over small things like Household work and calling his relatives etc. but every time I tried to sort the issues. He even hit me 3-4 times but as I had a baby by that time I didn't take any step against him. Since last few months he started doubting me for having an affair outside just because I had to travel out of station for training or other official work and I talk to my male colleagues. 10 days back he checked my call log and called 2 of my contacts to enquire how do they know me and then we had a big argument over that. His mother was also at our place when this incident took place and as his family always has tried to break our marriage she asked him to leave the house. Since then my husband has left and has not returned home. Also we have a home loan on joint name for which my husband denied to pay EMI, so now i have to take care of all the expenses by myself. I tried to talk to him , even my parents tried but he refuses to talk. Please suggest what should I do if I don't want to file a divorce.

Divorce is the only option for doubtful husband.  His doubts can never be cleared.  You have failed to garner trust from him towards you.  Either you should be tolerant till such day he is convinced that your sita maiyya. In the mean time if he kicks you out or himself files divorce you will have to be patient.  Even sita maiyya had similar doubtful husband.  Due to laundry guy he threw pregnant sita maiyya out of house into forest.  This is going on since Rama age.  Like Ram mandir issue not solved till today. Your problem is eternal.

If you don’t have patience then better to take divorce.  No much options for you.

Originally posted by : Roshi Agr
	Thank You fellow members for your precious reply but i am looking for legal remedy as he has left home

Legal remedy already provided to you.  If you are looking for legal remedy to bring back husband who ran away. There is no such law yet.  I am about to file a PIL in SC in about 20 days asking the court to change entire matrimonial laws. I have asked opinion from people who are having matrimonial disputes. I have put them in my PIL.  If you have any suggestion you can send me private message as to what kind of matrimonial laws you are looking for if there is a change.  Right now there is no legal remedy. You file RCR and take divorce after 2 years when you win RCR.  Alimony you can claim if you are unemployed undeducated woman till the day you remarry.  Hope this helps.

Originally posted by : Roshi Agr
	Thank You all for your response so does this mean that i should not make any efforts for reconciliation and leave the matter as it is. Again my concern is, isn't he liable to pay any maintenance for kid even if I am working and even the loan which we have taken from bank on joint names is on my head. If he doesn't come back, isn't it his responsibility ?

One thing men and women should clearly understand is that, the courts in matrimonial matters are useless in providing any respite or solution.  They cannot unite couples who have turned backs on each other.  They cannot create love and affection by using police force.  When it comes to children they can only give visitation rights and it will be unending fight for seeing kids, meeting kids till they turn 18.

For maintenance and alimony there are laws.  Even for domestic violence there is an act.  But all the solutions that these laws and acts give is like serving semia to cranes in plates.  And there are lot of loopholes.

Men and women should understand NO means NO.  if you force it will be RAPE.  Conciliation efforts and re-conciliation efforts cannot be a success through courts.  I recently read husband took back wife through force of DV act and police.  One week he was quiet, then he beat the life out of the wife and threw her out on the street.

I am not telling there is no solution in law for matrimonial disputes.  By the time you get some solution from court, your life would be over.

Men and women should be very careful while in matrimonial relationship.  Don’t take things for granted.  Courts can only give divorce, alimony, visitation rights for parents, child custody.  They can never unite warring couple.