salma Kamdar (housewife) 29 February 2012

Dont want to divorce husband

I and my husband got married 2 yrs back and have a 1 year old male son. We both lived in dubai post marriage . Now my husband wants me to sign a MOU where he has written that he does not want me to study , nor take up job and he will take me to physactrist . And that i shall stay for 6 months with his parents at their native place without him and much more . On disagreement to sign the MOU he did not take me back from my parents house and file rcr u/s 9 in family court and at the same time filed divorce in our panchayat stating that i am mis charactered and i have 3 extra maritial affair . A month back i got to know that he has interest in some other girl on asking him by my extended inlaws , my concern , he said i only emailed from his id , such email to his friend . Now 2 days back he deleted his email account . How should i prove that , my husband had mailed that girl and not me . Also now my husband telling tthat even though i wont divorrce him he will get married once again as in islam 4 are allowed . My case also involves DV emotional and financial abuse. also dowry but i did not file for the same . @ week back our kid was admitted to hospital but my husband did not call nor messaged to know about his well being inspite of repeated updates of our sons health was passed on by me via sms . I have filed maintenance and have sent notice for defermation to all involved in spoiling my name . I dont want to divorce him as i love him alot but i also want to prove my innocense .He is not talking to me nor replying to my messages but is making friends with all stranger girls and chatting hours together with them . what should i do . i am troubled with his infidelity and it hurts when i think of it .but dont have a clue of how to go about . Some say that dv will lead to divorce and will increase bitterness . So i filed defermation . i love him no doubt but his infidelity and allegations that he put on me brings anger in my mind which i think will not allow me to be normal even after being together , and his attiitude problem of he always being 100 % correct also sometimes ignites me into a quarrel or an argument but i cant even live without him .

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2 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner ) 29 February 2012

@ Author,

1. Repeated query if memory recalled correctly.
2. This queriest has given several suggestions vehemently already to other queriest in recent past hence you as in a person are elevated to 'expert' status instead of being remaining queriest now :-)
3. Summing up all your queries you have to make a call what exactly you want out of this sour one sided relationship being faced / handled for next 2–5–7-10-20 years from now and then your vision will clear otherwise you are looping around in a self loop based on pressing in legal forums ‘sentiments and emotions’ whereas Law works best on 'evidence' and or with a ‘amicable solutions brought to Court by party themselves” instead of being part of perennial societal twist.

Reasoning:
You are seeking answer in a Law forum to some of the societal issues between spouses. Be it so Law sees your brief in a very straight forward way

– Divorce on cruelty is all yours by proving just one single allegation i.e. not visiting child when sick and or hospitalized.
- DV relief is all yours by proving just one single allegation by witness statement of character assassination.
- Separation under customary divorce laws via Court procedure is all yours by proving separation and neglect.
- Maint. for thyself and for child is all yours by proving housewife current profession read with status of parties during marriage
- Child custody is all yours by retaining status quo of minor read with elapsed time and non conformity of best interest / welfare by non-custodial parent as in instance brief read with past several briefs of yours.
- Under Law of Torts 'defamation' case is a nut case to crack at this early stage of litigation as mentioned in your brief(s). However all the very best for your defamation case !
- Marriage is all about adjustments read with give and take and if it does not work between spouses then it is always better to part ways amicably and re-start life and todays' empowered women are doing just that and ‘abala nari’ syndrome remains as in TV serials namesakes.

Now the moment your left brain keep telling you “I love him” all above reliefs are just a frivolous exercise and not much reliefs cometh once way otherthan getting exposed to Courts corridors endlessly. Suggested to train your right brain and there pops clarity as in for next 2–5–7-10-20 years from now what course “your life shall take” and that is called self happiness.

Choice is all yours what you want out of your current marital mess and moving on with your and minor child’s life in a Legal portal forum where 'points under Law is suggested as remedy' not 'social shoulder sharing as norms' which few time pass women writers will now come forward and share the social ethos is my straight forward view on your brief(s) before us.

Prashant Rana (Advocate) 07 March 2012

@ Salma

You have not told where you are presently living, presuming you are living in India, As Muslim Personal Law is applicable on you, you have the following Legal option.:-

1. File for the DV Act as well as sec 125 for maintenance as well as for residence etc.

2. According to muslim personal law he can give divorce to you at any time without any reason... Sorry no one can help you on this point. Hope your "Mehar" is at the higher side.

3. Acc to Muslim Law he can Marry to four woman at the same time and you can't do anything in this.

4. As far as saving of your marriage is concerned, ask the mutual relatives to intervence and try to persuade your husband to bring you back.

5. Concept of RCR is not applicable on you.

6. You can file for the Divorce on the ground of desertion, which you don't want to.

7. In my personal openion your marriage is practically over and you can either live in suffocation or choose to get divorce and try to start life a fresh with your son ( though very hard in India).

You can also file the Criminal case for sec 498-A ( will surely going to be resulted in you divorce).