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Divorce vs RCR - Action Time - Help Sought

Page no : 2

Ramanathan G (Independent practice)     13 June 2011


In my Advocate Practice, the first requirement i ask to my Male clients is to go to a Govt Hospital, to get himself examined physically, s*xually and psychologically, to find out whether he want any Treatment, and be willing to undergo such treatments, to make an efforts for reconciliation. In every Family disputes, the first step is reconciliation, and normally due to shame, both the parties do not address their Sexual grievances about the opposite party. No clients came back to me, thus in my 10 yrs practice, i had not filed even one Divorce case.

Getting Divorce is not an easy task. At first you will have to pay Maintenance and Litigation expenses. Even after Divorce, she can claim Maintenance till her re-marriage. Mutual consent Divorce is easy to tell, but females can deny and Court do not object to their denial.

In the name of REALITY, even after Divorce, you will have to prove your "no weakness" to get re-married to any reputed family. Then why not prove that now itself.

About Adultery - if that is the case, she might have filed Cases by now.

About Call Records of her Mobile - It is always possible or believed that, people do share their phones.

It is a Nation, where Honour Killing and Elopment is also in News. The simple formula is, get married for Girls and Boys, only when you are capable of your nupital duties - Otherwise, either the husband will throw you out or the Wife will desert.

In any case, if you want a successfull litigation, with the main case, move an interim Application to the effect that, if your Wife/ Respondent want, you are willing to undergo examination and treatment at any Hospital.

Wish you all the best.


Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     13 June 2011

@ Ld. Ramnathan G.

Curious to know;

Do female client(s) approach you with their marital issues?

2. What possible first advise you give to your female client(s) and I quote from your message;

 "to find out whether he want any Treatment, and be willing to undergo such treatments, to make an efforts for reconciliation" ?

Ramanathan G (Independent practice)     13 June 2011


Tajobsindia Sir,

I am so far practicing in Delhi, without any Junior or Munshi, from own house and not from Court Chamber/ Bar room. Thus no stranger female do come to me with family problems; from within vicinity, except my first client named Anu.

The above Advice, i will never give to any Female Client, even if they come now; but simply avoid their case. Reason is, they should not think that I am making some suggestions or invitations to them. But above advice i give to male clients even in the presence of their Female Family Escorts (mother/sister).

To my client cum neighbour Anu, in the year 2001, the Advice i gave is: "it is better to die as Sumangali than Widow, thus if your own husband will kill you, you will be lucky to die as Sumangali". Her question was, what is the Section under which the Law can compell her husband to let them live together.

What i heard is, she lived with him again; separated and went to Agra, her parental home; her husband went there to beat her. Some of her relatives came with a Gun and shot her husband dead at Najafgarh, New Delhi. I do not know exact dates, but died prior to 2005.

The law of Reconciliation is common for all Religions Family Law. The elementary of reconciliation is how they sleep. In Female magazines language: "Rock on the bed". Unfortunately we Advocates hesitate to tell this to our Clients. I can tell boldly, because i work alone. Suppose if i work from Court, i too may not tell, reason is, i can accept the case, and give to some Juniors, for Adjournments.

In the Social networking, we are not for fees, thus i can repeat my advice. Female Advocates can boldly give this Advice to their Female Clients. In India's culture, never ask your female secretary to tell this to female clients, if you are a Male Advocate.

One more point - in a news report from USA, one Doctor faced Law Suit, for the alleged fact/ complaint that, one Gents Doctor had a Female patient with Back-pain. He had prescribed "Massage while having Sex", and offered to do that himself. She sued him for Compensation. In another case, Anand Jon of Indian origin is undergoing jail imprisonment for his s*xual complaints from his clients. In India itself, one Mr. Ahuja is facing imprisonment for Rape of Maid servant.

Thus your question itself is misplaced. We cannot practice law, by taking risk of breaking ethics. We cannot give suggestive Advices to Female Clients.

The ordinary Hesitation, Embarassment etc are for our own self defence.


Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     13 June 2011

@ Ld. Ramanathan G

I did not place on board any argument to call 'my arguments are misplaced' all I asked is two curious questions to a ld. brother.

However, I got clarified to your overture on s*xual nature from your above grand reply and what could you  advise to female client(s) had it been if any till date!. If any ld. brother cannot give suggestion / advises to female clients then it could be that any ld brother is gender biased in picking client(s) be it SOHO practice or from Chamber practice or as a one man legal army or may have battery of assistants which does not matter much so far as contentious legal practice and 'service' to 'any gender of client' are concerned are some of my soft independent views to your mixed objective feelings  to law of torts of International Jurisprudence read with Court practices in India are based as a mixed bag of replies.

However, thank you ld. brother, I don’t wish to express more on a grand experienced ld. brother's above reply post and may wish to close this exchange of our professional views.

All the best.



@Rohit Shukla

You are recently married,so my advise is to file a petition for restitution of conjugal rights,if in that time she will not come, then you can file for divorce.It also benefit you in case of maintenance.

Directly ask her whether you want to live with me or not if not then ask for divorce by mutual consent under section 13 b of Hindu Marriage Act,1955.


Section 9.of THE HINDU MARRIAGE ACT, 1955     Restitution of conjugal rights. -When either the husband or the wife has, without reasonable excuse, withdrawn from the society of the other, the aggrieved party may apply, by petition to the district court, for restitution of conjugal rights and the court, on being satisfied of the truth of the statements made in such petition and that there is no legal ground why the application should not be granted, may decree restitution of conjugal rights accordingly.

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     13 June 2011

Ramanathan Sir: That sound good but very technical with fewer takers in first go ..... for xyz reason.

& Thanks all for all your valuable suggestions & some healthy discussions.Unfortunately, I am still not very clear with the best approach except one simple thing from my heart "I don't want to stay with her anymore" ...... I just wish some justice & wisdom prevails with everone who are going to be involved. Thanks again

Rahul T (Engineer)     13 June 2011


As I told you earlier, I am a victim like you. I don’t know ABCD of law. From my point of view you should wait at list 2 year’s, if you want to teach her a good life time lesion. After long research I am following the same path. The cause behind this is:-

1>Our society is still male dominated society. People take more intereste specially “When a girl comes back from matrimonial home”. They keep asking them the cause behind the leaving matrimonial desertion. & that itself is a mental torture.

2>It is very easy to blame others daughter. & in our society our relatives are not leaving this opportunity, especially in such case. You may not understand instantly, but in the long run (say 2 year’s) you will definitely understand.

3>their relatives (who are exciting them to take step against you) going to blame them first.

4> Matrimonial home return girls are like free food for the society, And ppl try to use them like …..

So Wait & watch. Don’t make any move. Like me try to learn from the suffering people. & then you can make calculative move. Court is always open for you. Patience is the most important thing in such matter. Because Court doesn’t keep any value for our emotions…..So wait! You definitely will find more option to make her suffer. I am not telling to leave her simply. Keep patience, accumulate more reason to make her suffer, & Attack her when she is relaxed after 2 years. Like Desertion concept will get activated after that time….

NOTE: Gurus please guide me if I am wrong any where. I am also a victim like him, Show me some path if any available…..which I might have missed here…..

Thanks Rahul

Ghajini (SSE)     14 June 2011

This reminded me og my story...

I was a similar victim with almost same story like this..In my case it has seen the way of MCD...which will be through next month, but before reaching this stage i had same bitter and kind of fearful experiences

Basically there is no use of wait and watch, even if we think that after some time due to pressure from society , relatives etc she will come back, still that would be forceful to her and after sometime she wil return back again , you cannot keep your life on the toss always , right?

Like Rohit has said from his heart: "I don't want to stay with her anymore' , this is what I had thought within 3 months of my marriage for my wife. She also had started job in her city and was not willing to come what I did was , I pretended as if i want to take her back so that she is in always full of overconfidence and always say that "I dont want to come' :) , I put these things on record on a Sony recorder. Along with this I also gained confidence of her relatives. Make her make mistakes in over confidence.

This was best strategy, now coming to attack, always attack your enemy so that he/she dont get even a small amount of time on understanding what and how should he act. Always play first move from your side with all your preparations , collecting proofs etc. 

I gave clue to one of her cousins about the recordings i did, after that I filed RCR, she didnt even dare to see the court.

And within a year of her leaving my house she was kind of forced to file MCD at the amount that I had decided :) 

Please let me know of you need anymore suggestions

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     14 June 2011

Ghajini has made a bigger & more important question "irrespective of any consequences" that even if she returns still that would be forceful to her and after sometime she wil return back again , and we cannot keep our r life on the toss always. Thats exactly what I am trying to convey since begining. I now know that I was just an alternative and not THE MAN OF HER DREAM since day one. The thought itself is killing, so how can I bet my rest of my life with a degree of suspicion (if she comes back). My funda, better to be a loner than to be a subsitute for someone. As far as recordings are concerned, I have loads of it, in fact every confession every call has been recorded.



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