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Ravi (Consultant)     17 April 2016

Divorce or not to divorce

Husband is NRI, for him its Second marriage; 1st Ex-parte divorce he got because wifes fault and no maintenance too.
now 2nd wife of 8 years harassing him; when he come down to India for few days, she Blackmail with s*x withholding it.
She Aborted twice, Without husband consent,Husband has her SMS as proof.
Do not cook or server on Time deliberatly;
Break the locks and open his bags and search
Mimic him if he calls his relatives;
Threatening with suicide even jumped once to near by lake.
Threatening to leave with kids; even left 3/4 times but came back later.
Threatening to file Police complaint.
Threatening make Private matters to public
Act childish hidding on roof top at night or some other place make her husband to search for her.
Tell on husband face to wash his cloths.
Morning getup late even when husband leaving abroad, she act like sleeping deliberatly.
Call husband mother and curse and fight.
always fight arguing and cursing husband saying he ruined her life.
Her marriage is biggest mistakes of her life, she says.
Husband has all her Insulting/cursing SMS with him as a proof.
She stays alone with 2 kids. do not do much work other than cooking and cleaning, even they have 1 acre plantation. Husband send monthly expenses every month.

Any Advcie what he has to do. They have 2 small children 4 and 2 and half year old.


 17 Replies

Its your life... What you want. Matters...long distance relation is heck...she is upset missing u every second....its like solitary confinement and when u CME to her she needs ur intention...my advise is just to understand her mental distress..what she has in her heart for u...rather you can take help of counsellor if nthng works let the divorce be last option....for further guidance you can pm me

A walk alone (-)     17 April 2016

There are two options. first one for the sake of future of children husband should spend more time with his wife. Because in absence of husband she might in stress as all responsibility of children and everything is on her. It may be difficult her to manage all thats why she may behave like this . When husband loose all his patience then Second option husband should record all call and take video's of her behaviour. With the help of these save videos,calls,sms husband can file divorce.
1 Like

Ravi (Consultant)     18 April 2016

Thank you very much for the reply.

There is no such thing as solitary confinement, as she like to be alone, even with husband shadow she get irritated. she want to get up at her own time and do things, i seen million men work abroad and comes once in a two years, their wives are not complaining nor they are unhappy; Even some men do not send money properly also.

She is not listening to her family; as she has no Father or Brother; They are not well to do family, they were in Rented house before. she has mother and Married elder sister.

Husband asked her sister to arrange for counselling but she is not doing anything may be she is not listening to elder sister or both beleive husband is harassing her or they have some other motive to make money.

Husband has all recorded Audio / Video and her SMS as a proof.

dream (individual)     18 April 2016

1. Husband should move the children out of the house n move them to his sister or parents house which is preferably in a different city. He should put them in a school in that different city. 2. Then, he should wait for the wife to initiate legal proceedings. Maybe wait for upto a max of 1-2 years, not more.
1 Like

Ravi (Consultant)     18 April 2016

When husband asked before marriage, why she want to marry; she said after her Mother no one is there for her at her old age; thats why she want to marry. once children born, she started to tell i will take the children and make you die alone. Children are too small; less than 5 years; As per i know till they are 5 Father cannt take them away from Mother. correct me if i am wrong. Husband do not want his children to be raised by single parent. He gave her option that he will buy house in town as she like to be stay in Flat and pay their expenses; right now she is in 4 bedroom villa. if Husband stay away from wife with Children, she may file desertion case and get the maintenance too. she was working and educated. She already consulted lawyer about the issue but lawyer did not give her proper solution, as husband has prenuptial agreement signed before marriage that there is no Dowry given or taken as all expenses paid by husband. and there is no Domestic violence from husband side. She is not aware that her Attitude may leads to Divorce and get nothing; unless she made to understand by Police / Court. is there any procedure or legal remedy to do that ?

Ravi (Consultant)     18 April 2016

CAn Father take away children from mother if they are less tha 5 years old ?

antony JP (teacher)     18 April 2016

You should be very careful and act wisely...
1 Like

A walk alone (-)     18 April 2016

Why dnt husband act wisely and when he goes out of country he takes his family. Why dnt he live in other country with family. Might be After sometime wife will become normal. Problem will be solve. By taking child from mother he will do wrong with child.

A walk alone (-)     18 April 2016

Simply paying money giving bang low is not enough . She and her children need her husband not his money. Husband should give family time spend time with them. Take them with him. You already said husband dnt want children to be raised by single parents. Tell me if husband comes once in year then are children are not raised my single parent. Husband only spend money who raised them?
1 Like


1) If no police/court cases have been filed at this time, block all legal websites from your computer. 

2) Go to a marriage counsellor and give it a few months of honest effort. Try to identify the stories running in both your minds and allow a different picture to emerge. You may find ways to bring harmony in the marriage. Alternatively you may find a way to separate amicably on mutual terms. 

3) Stay away from lawyers and their advice. They will never be able to solve any problem you have. Court cases will only create more problems and suck all the joy of your life. 

1 Like

Ravi (Consultant)     19 April 2016


He took her abroad, thats middle east; and there she cannt go out alone do her things as she wish.

once 3 months visa expired; when she came back, she told she just released from 3 months jail and never be back again.

and she was grumbling that she has to get up early to make breakfast; and once he woke her up when he came from office hungry at 3PM, she made big issue out it saying he hit her with elbow to woke her from her slumber sleep.

Husband comes 4 times a year, and there million men who work abroad comes once in 2 years. There are more than 3 million Indians work in middle east and majority are low wage workers who get Ticket and passport once in 2 years

Ravi (Consultant)     19 April 2016


Thank you very much for superB reply.

so far no case is filled; she just give threats. and she knows husband will not do anything coz he loves children very much.

only problem is she is not ready to listen to anyone or she admit that she has problem in her; she always blame husband, telling its his fault always because he Divorced once. Ignoring fact that earlier one had Affair, that led to divorce but she dont beleive husband version.

recently she told she is in contact with Ms.Ex and after she got Internet connection in her mobile she started to act weird and spend night online. even i saw her whatsapp timing at 2am.

for sure she is misled by some Feminists, there are plenty Sadist Divorced online.

Ravi (Consultant)     19 April 2016


I know Police will not arrest; but for sure she will make big drama, shouting crying in nieghborhood and attempt to suicide saying i abet

In India if wife kill her husband when he catch her red handed with her lover, that our law term as SHE ACTED IN HER DEFENCE.

and if same lady attempted to suicide then it termed as husband abet her by finding her extra marital affair


yesterday i read a news HC saying filling false case on her husband is not cruelty

Ravi (Consultant)     19 April 2016

Thank you everyone for valuable advice; She already attempted to Suicide and latest 2 months back she told same thing, when i went to mother house; she said if i go again she will jump to lake with Children. Should i report this to police ?

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