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Prerna Shukla (Physiotherapist)     02 July 2012

Divorce help - urgent

 

 

 

Dear Expert,

I am Prerna from Delhi. I got married in Nov 2011 to a Delhi Boy. This was an arranged marriage. 

I am a known case of depression having stuck me twice in the last ten years. I am also under very light medication, as the medecine is continued for whole life. While taking medecine for many years I have continued my educatio  and have also topped delhi university in science stream. 

I am also teaching in one of the reputed school in delhi for the last three years. My family hide the fact that I am taking medecine  from my in laws.

My in laws though were good before marriage, and they wanted me to continue my job after marriage as they agreed before my marriage, but just after a week of marriage they started pressurizing me to resign from job. They mentally tortured me for resignation, and then during the trauma I collapsed and told them about my medicine and known case of depression. Though my disease is a state of mind and is curable and also I am and was performing all tasks including my responsible job, and other household job myself. I also talked to my husband for over 5-6 hours daily during our courtship period of 6 months.

Now, after knowing my case, my in laws are threatening me for dicorce and are mentally torturing me. My parents also made them meet the doctor who advised them that I will be fine in  2-3 months if I take medicine, but they threw all the medicine and They have also stopped my medicine for the last more than two months and my health situation has deteriorated. They want now to abandon me. I need your help , what should I do now. Please help me.

 



 10 Replies

Sanyam Malhotra (Advocate)     02 July 2012

do you wish to continue with your marriage or want divorce?  what is the stand of your husband?

Fighting for a cause (Defending court cases )     03 July 2012

At the moment your medication is of utmost importance. You will be able to fight all the battles, mentally and emotionally if you are fit and fine. Don't leave your job as it will keep you busy and help in diverting your mind from these unpleasant situations. Elders and relatives from both sides can play an important role in settling this issue.


It was desirable to tell your inlaws about your medical condition before marriage.

 

Life never stops... Zindgi kabhi rukti nahin... 

 

Legal advise, you will have plenty on this forum if required.

MADURAI LAWYER (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     03 July 2012

Dear Madam,

I am really sorry for your unhappy matrimonial life. Kindly be sure that you are suffering from a curable desease which is not a ground for divorce. Therefore, your husband cannot divorce you on the ground of your illness.  If you want, you can obtain a decree of divorce on ground of cruelty. However, it is not adviceable to go for the same. Better avoid being in the company of these people until you recover from this illness. For any clarification, kindly feel free to speak to me on (0) 9842197857.

 

https://www.jeevaganadvocate.com/contact.php

Ranee....... (NA)     03 July 2012

This is not a ground of divorce.Stay busy and on medication.

Prerna Shukla (Physiotherapist)     03 July 2012

Dear Expert,

My husband isn't with me both physically and mentally. What I have observed in the last few months is that My in Laws never allow my husband to go alone anywhere, and specially at my father's- mummy house. My In laws arguement is that my husband is very arrogative, egostic and moreover he can not control his anger. I have also observed getting him angry and shouting on small things,  His non cooperation, has made me more unconfortable as I couldn;t confide and see support in him. 

One thing, is that they forced and mentally tortured and harassed me  to resign from my job after two months of marriage. Things were worse from second week onwards when I joined, as they are a orthodox family, and women dont do job outside. Shockingly, they were quite happy when they came for match making and before marriage. Now they are not allowing me to talk to family, stopped medication, have got some papers recently signed by me including stamp paper. Though their is no physical torture from my In Laws Parents, but my nanad and my husband often slap me for various reasons. I see no support, I am very helpless. They allow me to talk to my father only on speaker phone and not to my mother. 

when my mother asked me about my treatment or starting medecine, they stopped taking her call and now they dont me to talk to her. 

I am very upset........ I saw great support in this website and motivated as you all came to advise me correctly. I want to save this marriage. My family want to save this marriage. My in laws want divorce, they dont want to get my treatement done and are waiting for my health to get deteriorate so that they can prove there point. 

Please advise me. Please


(Guest)

Dear Prerna,

First I will say that why you feel you are mentally depressed? Why you feel you are depressed? You are a person who is serving as a teacher and who builds confidence in students. You are the one who moulds a child into youth. I can see and say it is the circumstances which are making you feel you are depressed, on the contrary, you have will power to fight and strive. A person who could express so expressivly and freely, has strong will.

You said "Though my disease is a state of mind and is curable and also I am and was performing all tasks including my responsible job, and other household job myself." 
This itself says you are a girl with great confidence. Circumstances at times compel us to bow down and we feel we are broke. I understand you don't see support and can't confide in him. In such circumstance a person does feel lonely. I understand you are striving to save your marriage.

Can you pls specify the reason of torture you are made to at the hands of your in-laws apart from them being orthrodox family and as well the reason they want to have divorce?

Further, can you specify, whether you are staying with in-laws and husband right now?

1 Like

Prerna Shukla (Physiotherapist)     03 July 2012

The reason of torture is that as per them I should not talk to my mom, I shouldnt talk anything about my in laws. My husband has only come 3-4 times in the last six months though we stay about 20 kms from my mom's place. As per them I should do the household jobs. They dont allow me to venture to market, dont allow me to purchase what I want to for myself. 

They all the time expect me to do the religious pooja, cleaning of house, take more interest in kitchen. In the last six months, not a single time I have been to malls, movie or anything. I have not ventured out with my husband alone barring my honeymoon which was for 2 days in nainital. All the time I am told because of my marriage they have suffered huge losses in business.

I am currently with my In Laws and my in Laws are coming to meet my mom and dad this weekend. They are torturing me everytime since past a 2 months that they needs separation. Now, openly, they are saying they will abandon / leave me at my mom's place and will not take me back home.

I truly appreciate your advise and concern. Pleasae tell me, can they seek/ take divorce from me.....under these conditions that I am under depression.  

RK (adada)     03 July 2012

Dear Prerna

I suggest that you involve the elder members of both families and get these issues resolved.
On your own, you wont be able to acheive anything except deteriorating your HEALTH.

Hope you follow my suggestion.


(Guest)

Dear Prerna,

No these are not grounds for divorce at all. Even if they prefer petition the same would not stand and will fail at evidence. I would suggest you to file petition u/s 12 of D V Act, if they abandon you at your parents place. I would say dont loose confidence in yourself and dont submit to torments.

Parallely as suggested by RK, involve your family members and common friends/relatives of both families to resolve the issue.

2 Like

Prerna Shukla (Physiotherapist)     06 July 2012

I really appreciat the help from all the concerned experts. What I feel the situation right now is, that my In Laws are now putting conditions for my stay at their place. 

1. I shouldn't talk to my parents at all, as this disturbs the environment of their house. Everyone iat my In Laws family sees me with suspicious eyes and they doubt my parents and have also taken my phone. They expect me to talk on speker phone when ever given a chance to talk to my family.

2. They said they will deprive me of nedical benefits and they have directed my parents not to talk about my treatment. They said the depression will get cured automatically. whereas, when they met doctor along with my parents, he advised for starting the medecine and other benefits. 

3. They dont want me to talk to my brother who stays in Prague. He is on a central govt. posting and greatly concerned about me. The commitments dont allow him to come to india before december. I haven't spoken to him since March 2012. 

4. No one from my family should come to meet me at my in laws place, whenever there is any need, they will make arrangements for a meeting with my parents.

There should be some update as the said meeting to discuss the above is fixed for this weekend. 

I am helpless though, collecting all my courage to write all this with the help of my Bhabhi and parents.

I see great support in this forum with consultations from all the gentleman experts. 


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