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Cynthia   23 July 2015

Divorce and maintanance

My Husband dessert me and my unborn within one and half month of the marriage and disappeared .he was a PR in singapore and my in-laws will not share my husbands whereabouts.So we wait till the delivery for some positive trunup but however they stayed the same so i file RCR in chennai soon after the notice was deliverd my husband came back to India and filed a Divorce. now i have a one year baby boy and unable to go to work and financial supported by my mom pension and because the divorce is filed in Dindugal if i dont attend i will become expart im coming the every month but my husband does not come for the RCR and now im not able to maintanin the baby and the travel and the daily expensive to what shall i do now. Please advise me on the better path to make my next move. When must i ask for maintance. I have a one year baby and wanna work this nice and ok so that my Son when he grows up will have some financial support.My husband is eariing 3500 Sg dollar as of now.In the first counselling he stated he has filled for bankrupts.



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 19 Replies

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     23 July 2015

U can certainly claim for maintenance both for URself and the child U/S 125  crpc, whether UR husband is employed or not.He cannot avoid it stating different reasons

GO THROUGH THIS ARTICLE COULD BE USEFUL MATERIAL:

 

Abandonment and Desertion in Divorce
 Information Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc.

When one spouse just up and leaves the marriage, the other may have a fault ground for divorce -- abandonment, which is also known as desertion, a term with very unfavorable connotation.

Abandonment means that one spouse has left the other without consent, but like adultery proving desertion means more than that a person left home without the consent of the other spouse. Most states require that the defendant or respondent left home for a year or more; that the parties failed to agree about the departure; that plaintiff or petitioner failed to pay support; and that the departure was not caused by the plaintiff or petitioner.

Many times spouses abandoned marriages because they could not get a divorce any other way. For example, at one time Ireland prohibited divorce, and unhappy spouses, unable to end a failed marriage, walked out, leaving abandoned wives and children in poverty. By abandoning their spouses, however, they got what the wanted: an escape from a bad marriage.

 
Abandonment is not the same as separation, trial or permanent, which in most cases happens as a preliminary to a divorce.
 

Like adultery, alleging desertion appeals to some spouses who seek a moral vindication because they can say, "He or she left, he or she does not pay, and I didn’t do anything wrong to make it happen."

The length of time of the abandonment varies from state to state, but usually it is a year or more. But reconciliations -- when the party who left returns only to depart again -- resets the clock.

A spouse who refuses to relocate if his or her spouse is transferred through work may have a major marital problem, but it is not abandonment for the spouse to refuse to move.

If someone leaves a marriage because the other spouse has made it impossible for the person to stay, the person leaving the marriage can claim constructive desertion, in that the other spouse made it intolerable to stay in the marriage. Constructive desertion happens when one partner causes the other partner to leave the marital home through misconduct. If one partner is forced to leave the home because the other’s misconduct, he or she has been constructively deserted. In this regime, the conduct of one spouse makes it impossible for the other to stay in the marriage.

Physical or mental cruelty to the spouse can constitute constructive desertion. Moreover, refusing s*xual intercourse can often be held to be constructive desertion. In some cases, requiring a spouse to live with intrusive or abusive in-laws was held to be constructive desertion, as was refusing to relocate to a new town or state.

In the case of s*xual relations, constructive abandonment means a spouse leaves the marriage in spirit by refusal to have s*xual relations. In s*xual desertion, which is considered a fault ground, the party charging it must prove abandonment, generally for one year, during which the spouses may share the same roof (but presumably not the same bed).

Constructive abandonment is a form of abandonment used as a ground for divorce, and it may also be considered a form of cruel and inhumane treatment.

Some years ago, a newspaper story described the marriage of an aging movie star and her husband. Though still legally married, he lived in one wing of their enormous house; she lived in the other, and they both entertained their separate and individual circles of friends in the common rooms on a reservation basis. This is probably a creative example of desertion, s*xual and physical as well as by consent.

Without a doubt, constructive abandonment could be the grounds for divorce in many marriages where it is not used for obvious reasons. As grounds for fault divorce, s*xual desertion means laying bare very personal details of two private lives.

 
When one person just walks about the door, but the separation is voluntary or mutual, the couple have separated; they have not divorced.
 

Just leaving by mutual agreement is not a divorce. An agreement to separate may be a preliminary for a no-fault divorce, but just leaving is not.

For example, when the husband and wife separate on a trial basis, both may agree to it, but a trial separation -- one sometimes undertaken to take stock of the marriage -- is not grounds for a divorce in itself.

Desertion must meet certain criteria, and most but not all states consider it a ground for divorce.

Desertion, like adultery, is a difficult route to divorce, and like adultery not used much. In general, most states require the plaintiff or petitioner, the party who is abandoned, prove that the defendant or respondent left the home for more than one year, did so without the agreement of the spouse, failed to pay support and that the reason for the departure was not caused by the plaintiff or petitioner. Abandonment or desertion means that neither the husband nor the wife refuse the duties and obligations associated with the marriage.

 
Some states have laws saying that if one spouse has moved out, it demonstrates an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, sufficient for a divorce.
 

Abandonment is not the same as a woman fleeing domestic violence in a crisis, nor it is the same as a man announcing his intentions to divorce his wife and then moving out.

Like many facets of marital and family law, abandonment has two sides. As a strategy for coping with the domestic turmoil of a failed marriage, just leaving may have legal repercussions that weaken one’s case after he or she thinks better of it and decides to formally end the marriage. This is particularly true when there are children because it may be much more difficult for the person who left to make a strong case that he or she is a fit parent if he or she walked away for a significant period of time.

When a husband stays but doesn’t support the household at all, the marriage has broken down to the point where the spouses share a roof and nothing else. The two people live as ships passing in the night. One spouse pays for everything, and the other contributes nothing at all.

In some states one of the traditional grounds for divorce was nonsupport. In these states, a husband was required to support his wife. Some states still have this ground in the state statutes.

 

 Information Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc.

 

prabhakar advocate (advocate)     23 July 2015

The first thing you should do is to file transfer application in Chennai H.C. to transfer his divorce petition from Dindigul to Chennai.  For that you engage an advocate.  Next thing you should do is to file Section 125 cr.p.c. for maintenance to yourself and to your child.  The third thing you should do is to move S.24 application in your RCR.  For all that you engage an advocate.  If you are not in a sound financial position to engage an advocate, approach a legal services authority situated in the Chennai HC to get free legal aid advocate.

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     23 July 2015

Rightly adviced by Mr.Prabhakar,nothing more to add,act accordingly.

saravanan s (legal advisor)     23 July 2015

i agree with learned adv prabhakarji advice

saravanan s (legal advisor)     23 July 2015

to add if she is a christian then maintenance can be claimed by filing u/s 36 ida


(Guest)

Wrong advice by above gentleman.

 

You should approach your in-laws without your ego, and go and  stay with them instead of showing pride. 

If you go to lawyer, he will ask fees ie money, and put that case this case etc and spoil your relationship with your in-laws.

Many husbands go Dubai, come once a year or twice a year or dont come for 3-4 years at all.  

 

Approach collectively your inlaws along with your parents and dont fight and shout.  Go calm way and convince them to keep you and child with them.  That is the only way out for all of yuo.  Or else simply by listening to above gentleman advice you will be spoiling your own life.

BHRIGU DATTA 9475352677 (PRIVATE PRACTICE)     23 July 2015

Mr 

Gyan Prakash 

you should not say so about lawyers, and i am not agree with you suggestion if you are right i like to ask you some question  as follows --

husband deserted from the lady and unborn for a long but in this period husband did not send her any mail , email or ph call why ?

husband went abroad with out giving her wife any address , is it possible ? without having any bad intention 

lady said that in law 's are not in co-operative attitude , is it not enough to take decision that hasband has bad intention?

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     23 July 2015

Mr.Gyan Prakash,

UR assessment of asking her to go and stay with her inlaws is a remote possibility according to her present situation.She has a right to forcebly stay in her husband's house but not in the house of inlaws,she can be evicted.Logically UR reply may hold good but not in practice.

How do U term that the above gentleman is wrong,can U elaborate?


(Guest)

Dear Mr Bhirigu and Mr Sainath

 

When the female is telling that husband moved out and has already filed RCR, it shows that it is arranged marriage.  The female in question delivered a baby boy and in reality has lot of power in her hands just with the baby boy to make In-laws and husband dance to her tunes, who would not want a baby boy, the in-laws would love to have a baby boy than a baby girl as grandchild.  It appears to me that the wife has moved out of the house soon after husband has left for Dubai and wishes not to stay with in-laws when husband is away.  It is also true that wife should stay with husband and not with in-laws, so theoretically wife should have been with husband in Dubai.  Since it is a arranged marriage, there is something more to the story than what meets the eye.  Instead of filing an application for alimony, [who will want to feed daughter who has married and also delivered a baby? Referring to her parents here., certainly they will ask her to either ask her husband some money for maintenance or go earn her livelihood or go stay with her in-laws].  What is wrong with me suggesting to go to her in-laws in this time of distress.  Is it not easy to go to in-laws house and adjust and live with them as if they are her own parents than to go and stand in court filing application for alimony? First of all she has filed RCR which is wrong, as I consider going to court itself is wrong in matrimonial matters.  The querist should have taken her parents and went to her in-laws house and pacified the situation.  Lot of things can be solved by just talking in calm way than shouting, raising voice and threatening to go to court or police.  Anyway things have not that worsened yet, talks can be fruitful even now.  Above all she is Christian, and Christian community is very small when compared to other community, today she might get encouraged by lawyers and legal consultants to take next legal step, but what if matter goes to extent of divorce, is it easy to find new father for the boy child?  Who would marry a girl who has a child?  Is it not difficult thing ??  So according to me the querist should take step of talking with in-laws than to approach court for some more legal procedures.

Do you guys even know the value of being married and having a partner?  One should always try to save marriage not to show means and ways to break it. Hence the reply.

To the querist, what kind of Christian are you dont you read the bible? Read Proverbs 31.

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     23 July 2015

Mr.Gyan Prakash,

Theoretically UR version may be correct from UR point of view,but practically it is not viable.

Cynthia   23 July 2015

SAINATH DEVALLA (LEGAL CONSULTANT)     24 July 2015

Blank reply Cynthia

Sathiya   24 July 2015

Hi everyone, I just signed up to this website. I'm in a confused stage. I need your advice based on that life will be redirected. I got married 6 years ago and I have a 5 years old daughter. About my hubby family, he is the only son brought up by very strict mom. His mom and dad are government retired persons and having a self earned own house which is in my mom in law's name. Because of this house my mom is creating n number of issues to everyone including my father in law, me and my daughter. She is not allowing anyone to stay there even my hubby is not allowed. But she is kept on forcing me to give divorce even when my husband and me living together. Now two weeks ago we had a quarrel between me and my husband. Now he is also ready to go with her decision. My mom in law is very happily supporting my hubby to get legal divorce. I don't know what to do. My husband left me and my baby in the current rental house and he is staying in some pg. I can't search for any more jobs since I have to take care of my kid. Planned to admit my kid day care, as my kid is observing all our problems, she is crying a lot not to leave her in day care. I met my husband at his office, he is saying that he can give 3000 every month for baby's expense alone. I begged him to come home but he said that if I force him then he will file for divorce. Instead he is asking me to live alone with for 3 years without disturbing him, then only he could consider for living with me. I'm ready wait for him but my mother in law has already forced him for second marriage without divorce (unofficially). But he denied that time. Since she was insisting on divorce all the time, now he also started threatening me by saying divorce. Please advice me. Please ask me for further more details if required.

Cynthia   24 July 2015

can i file an application for interim maintenance in the RCR case.what must i ask my lawyer . is it like a new case


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